Teen Mom Amber Portwood attempted suicide earlier this summer after she thought baby daddy Gary Shirley was going to curl up his butt-tail and stop smothering her to death with his sex. She’s since checked herself into rehab leaving Gary completely to his own devices and responsible for their young daughter, so naturally, he went… More »
Teen Mom star Amber Portwood reportedly attempted suicide Tuesday morning, and now details are coming in that she did it because she thought Gary Shirley was cheating. The same Gary Shirley pictured above with a butt tail and pulling McDonald’s out of his car, so basically everything a woman dreams for. Plus butt tail. RadarOnline… More »
“Ha! Isn’t my life wonderful? Fat man who knocked me up, put these Walmart bags in the Grand Am, won’t you?”
Because shoving pregnant teenage mothers from dysfunctional backgrounds into the limelight is always a great idea with absolutely zero potential for horrific backfire, Teen Mom star Amber Portwood allegedly attempted suicide this… More »
“Girl, I’mma make love to you until a baby comes out.. did we finish those chili fries?”
Seen here drunkenly celebrating Amber Portwood’s 21st birthday, Gary Shirley was arrested yesterday for driving with a suspended license after police could hear Amber screaming at him from outside of his car which I’m assuming had… More »
And I’ve officially overloaded this day with too much sexy.
Here’s Teen Mom star Amber Portwood celebrating her 21st birthday with Gary Shirley at “Jimbo’s Bar” in Indiana because if there’s one thing this show was missing, it’s fetal alcohol syndrome. I’m actually not joking, this is probably just the angle MTV was… More »
Presumably to pitch their own reality show considering just last week she was pregnant with a baby that literally anybody could’ve been the father of, Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley were spotted shopping for a “promise ring” over the weekend at Kay Jewelers. Of course, the whole thing would’ve looked less staged if Gary didn’t… More »
Since its Friday, we decided to go ahead and shoot you in the eyes since you have all weekend to recover, so here’s Gary Shirley, baby daddy to Amber Portwood and basically the perfect specimen of masculine perfection. Because what better use for sudden wealth than low-rise jeans, graphic tees and a Dodge Avenger? It’s… More »
See that face? That’s why you always wear a condom. Even if you’re married.
Earlier in the month it was reported that Teen Mom Amber Portwood decided it’d be a smart idea to assault Gary Shirley again while she’s currently facing felony charges for beating him in front of an entire MTV audience… More »
If you get a makeover just for your mugshot, you might be a redneck.
Teen Mom star Amber Portwood was arrested on Monday for beating Gary Shirley in front of their toddler daughter while MTV filmed the entire incident and/or possibly orchestrated it. People reports:
“Domestic battery has an automatic 24… More »
Seen here presumably having the very epiphany that spawned this post, Teen Mom Amber Portwood is now trying to claim MTV paid her $1,000 to assault Gary Shirley in front of their daughter to add more drama to the show. The National Enquirer reports:
But Amber insists the violence was all a ruse… More »
When we last left Teen Mom star Amber Portwood at the beginning of the month, child services had just let her have her daughter Leah back which only further proved their mission statement is, “If it came out of your uterus, we’ll you give another chance to kill it.” Since then, she’s managed to fuck… More »