Posts tagged "Derek Jeter"

Derek Jeter: ‘First, You Eat My Butthole Then You Get The Gift Basket’

One of my most favorite things I've learned from my all years on the site is that Derek Jeter gives women gift baskets full of Yankees memorabilia after he's done banging them. It's a story that not only fills me with hope, but lifts my spirits when this world doesn't make any sense. Except now…

By: The Superficial / September 22, 2014

There’s A Minka Kelly Sex Tape

Last week ended fucking horribly, so let's start this week with a powerful and rejuvenating tale of the human spirit that will bind us all together in a cavalcade of love and unity-boners. The tale of Minka Kelly's sex tape. TMZ reports: The tape is shot in a semi-professional manner. The camera is secured by…

By: The Superficial / July 23, 2012

Minka Kelly Shot Down Jake Gyllenhaal

After breaking up in August, Minka Kelly and Derek Jeter are already back together, but not for a lack of A-list actors attempting to tame her career-killing ass of sexual destiny. (Just go with it.) Us Weekly reports: A source claims that Kelly, 31, "declined" an invitation from Gyllenhaal, 31, when he asked her o…

By: The Superficial / January 12, 2012

Derek Jeter: ‘Thanks For Banging Me, There’s A Gift Bag Out In The Car’

"What? Hickory Farms is expensive shit." When Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly broke up, pretty much everyone assumed he'd just starting banging random women at will because he's a deep reservoir of emotion. Turns out he's not only been doing that, he's been doing it in the most dickishly awesome way possible. The New York

By: The Superficial / December 14, 2011

Minka Kelly is Single

If you hate Derek Jeter, now's your chance to have two boners for the price of the one. A "boner salad" if we're using baseball terms. JustJared reports: Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly have called it quits after three years together, JustJared.com can confirm. “The split was amicable,” sources exclusively tell JJ of the 37-year-old…

By: The Superficial / August 26, 2011

Minka Kelly in a bikini engaged to Derek Jeter

Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly are engaged with plans to marry in November, according to PopEater: "It's helpful when you're as under the spotlight as Derek Jeter is, to have a girlfriend who does understand what that's like," Fuller adds. "[Minka] both understands what it's like to have to deal with the interest of fa…

By: The Superficial / January 11, 2010