Posts tagged "Crystal Harris"

Hugh Hefner & Crystal Harris Are Engaged. Again.

“I knew you’d fly back to me, Amelia Earhart.”

The last time Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris got engaged, she ditched him five days before the wedding, hocked her ring then went on Howard Stern and told everyone Hugh’s a never-nude that ejaculates at the drop of a wooden nickel. So how you…

By: The Superficial / December 3, 2012

Kendra is a Hypocrite

Last year, Kendra Wilkinson released her memoirs Sliding Into Home which detailed having sex with Hugh Hefner, but only after Holly Madison popped him full of Viagra and properly fluffed him for the rest of the girls. In fact, Kendra wrote these exact words via Celebitchy:

One of the girls asked me if…

By: The Superficial / August 3, 2011

Hugh Hefner is Great At Sex, According To People Paid To Say He’s Great At Sex

“I am an uncaged bowl of oatmeal! — With cinnamon!”

For those of you just tuning in, Hugh Hefner’s paid to runaway bride Crystal Harris went on Howard Stern and not only said she had sex with Hugh once, but that it lasted two seconds and he never took his clothes off. But…

By: The Superficial / July 28, 2011

Crystal Harris Had Sex With Hugh Hefner Once, It Lasted Two Seconds

Despite the fact it’s clear Crystal Harris was a prostitute hired to leave Hugh Hefner for a reality show special, she was a guest on Stern yesterday where she complained about sex with Hugh even though it sounds as tender and beautiful as it is with me. Via People:

Harris, 24, said Tuesday…

By: The Superficial / July 27, 2011

Hugh Hefner Has Two Girlfriends Now

“And no crust! Hurts my gums. Now someone turn up the phonograph, I’m feeble.”

Hugh Hefner can’t seem to get enough of us kids and our newfangled Twitter-ma-tron and spent yesterday sending emoticons to his second girlfriend Shera Bechard (above) because apparently powdering him has become a two bimbo job again. “You promised…

By: The Superficial / June 28, 2011

Hugh Hefner’s Gonna Make It

“This isn’t my oatmeal!”

Here’s Hugh Hefner hosting his sixth annual Kandyland bash with his new girlfriend Anna Sophia Berglund because I guarantee he’s just picking them like numbers at a deli counter now. “Whore-der #73! 73? You 73? I made a poop.” But while he spent the evening pretending he knows what…

By: The Superficial / June 27, 2011

Game of Bimbos: A Clash of Gold-Diggers

Crystal Harris was supposed to marry Hugh Hefner on Saturday, yet broke off the wedding earlier in the week to make a quick buck, so of course, she immediately used her new “celebrity” status as Hugh’s runaway bride to help Heidi Montag host a pool party on the day she cost her wedding guests thousand…

By: The Superficial / June 20, 2011

Crystal Harris: ‘Hugh Had Other Women.’
You Don’t Say?

Found one.

As part of her plan to cash in as hard as possible before people forget who she is come Monday, Crystal Harris is now saying she left Hugh Hefner because he has “other women” in his life. To hear her say it, it’s almost as if he crammed an entire mansio…

By: The Superficial / June 17, 2011

Crystal Harris Posed For July Cover of Playboy as ‘Mrs. Hefner.’ Whoops.

With five days to go until their wedding, it makes perfect sense that Playboy already had a photo of Crystal Harris as “Mrs. Crystal Hefner” in the can which you’re now looking at thanks to all the leaking going around these days. Alas, as love is wont to do, a young woman’s fancy turned to…

By: The Superficial / June 15, 2011

Hugh Hefner’s Old Prostitutes Bring Him Comfort in His Time of Need

“What do those words say down there? I’m cold and hungry.”

After Crystal Harris dumped Hugh Hefner’s five days before their wedding because he wouldn’t give her a bigger allowance (No, really.), his “Girls Next Door” rushed to his side per the severance agreement they all signed before leaving his employ. Via E!

By: The Superficial / June 15, 2011

Hugh Hefner’s Gonna Die Alone

A few months ago, Crystal Harris was rumored to be banging Dr. Phil’s son behind Hugh Hefner’s back. Possibly even literally, the man’s insanely old. Fast forward to today where TMZ reports Hef has decided not to make Crystal a permanent employee at the Playboy Mansion. Or “his wife” as he’s been known to call…

By: The Superficial / June 14, 2011

Kendra Isn’t Invited to Hugh Hefner’s Wedding

After years fondling an old man’s balls for room and board, you’d just assume he’d invite you to his wedding to reminisce about all those hilarious diaper changes. “Remember that time at Denny’s? I don’t cause I’m old! Wheeee! — Why am I in a tux?” Anyway, turns out that’s not the case for Kendra

By: The Superficial / March 31, 2011

Hugh Hefner Got Engaged to Crystal Harris

Because what’s one post about a blow to the groin without another? Hugh Hefner has made his most prominent display of senility by proposing to his 24-year-old girlfriend Crystal Harris on Christmas, according to E! News:

Hef tweeted, “When I gave Crystal the ring, she burst into tears. This is the happiest Christma…

By: The Superficial / December 27, 2010