Crystal Harris

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Hugh Hefner & Crystal Harris Are Engaged. Again.

“I knew you’d fly back to me, Amelia Earhart.”

The last time Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris got engaged, she ditched him five days before the wedding, hocked her ring then went on Howard Stern and told everyone Hugh’s a never-nude that ejaculates at the drop of a wooden nickel. So how you… More »


Kendra is a Hypocrite

Last year, Kendra Wilkinson released her memoirs Sliding Into Home which detailed having sex with Hugh Hefner, but only after Holly Madison popped him full of Viagra and properly fluffed him for the rest of the girls. In fact, Kendra wrote these exact words via Celebitchy:

One of the girls asked me if… More »


Hugh Hefner is Great At Sex, According To People Paid To Say He’s Great At Sex

“I am an uncaged bowl of oatmeal! — With cinnamon!”

For those of you just tuning in, Hugh Hefner’s paid to runaway bride Crystal Harris went on Howard Stern and not only said she had sex with Hugh once, but that it lasted two seconds and he never took his clothes off. But… More »



Crystal Harris Had Sex With Hugh Hefner Once, It Lasted Two Seconds

Despite the fact it’s clear Crystal Harris was a prostitute hired to leave Hugh Hefner for a reality show special, she was a guest on Stern yesterday where she complained about sex with Hugh even though it sounds as tender and beautiful as it is with me. Via People:

Harris, 24, said Tuesday… More »


Hugh Hefner Has Two Girlfriends Now

“And no crust! Hurts my gums. Now someone turn up the phonograph, I’m feeble.”

Hugh Hefner can’t seem to get enough of us kids and our newfangled Twitter-ma-tron and spent yesterday sending emoticons to his second girlfriend Shera Bechard (above) because apparently powdering him has become a two bimbo job again. “You promised… More »


Hugh Hefner’s Gonna Make It

“This isn’t my oatmeal!”

Here’s Hugh Hefner hosting his sixth annual Kandyland bash with his new girlfriend Anna Sophia Berglund because I guarantee he’s just picking them like numbers at a deli counter now. “Whore-der #73! 73? You 73? I made a poop.” But while he spent the evening pretending he knows what… More »



Game of Bimbos: A Clash of Gold-Diggers

Crystal Harris was supposed to marry Hugh Hefner on Saturday, yet broke off the wedding earlier in the week to make a quick buck, so of course, she immediately used her new “celebrity” status as Hugh’s runaway bride to help Heidi Montag host a pool party on the day she cost her wedding guests thousands… More »


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