Captain America


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Chris Pratt & Chris Evans Visit Children’s Hospital, Make Good On Super Bowl Bet

As part of their Super Bowl bet, both Chris Pratt and Chris Evans visited Christopher Haven’s children’s hospital in Boston today which was an awesome thing to do. More »

Thor’s A Woman And Captain America’s Probably Black #ThanksObama

In the same week that saw Archie gunned down in a mall shooting saving his gay best friend from a right-wing nut, Marvel announced on The View yesterday that Thor’s a woman now. And according to writer Jason Aaron, “she’s not She-Thor or Lady Thor. She’s not Thorika. She is Thor. This is the new… More »

Happy Birthday, America, You Fat Dumb Bastard

In honor of America’s proud tradition of making things go “BOOM” to celebrate our independence from a country that far surpasses us in health care, education, gun control, you name it, The Superficial will be off today because a paid holiday’s a paid holiday no matter whose bullshit birthday it is. (What’s up, Jesus?) So… More »

WEEKEND NERDIOR: Marvel Phase Two Edition

And now for the part of the week where I snuff out what tiny chance this site gives me of getting laid by rambling on about comics, video games and/or my deep concern about who’s wearing green booty shorts next to Batman. I probably should’ve named this column “Dust Penis,” but after months staring at… More »

If It Was Punchable, The Hulk Punched It:
A Review of ‘The Avengers’

“Seriously, guys, tell me that flying boat ride wasn’t awesome. It even had a pirate with an eye patch! A black pirate, but that’s okay ’cause this is the future.”

So last summer, I decided to spice things up because, frankly, you used to be way freakier before we moved in together. This… More »

‘The Avengers’ Has A Trailer

Whoever owns the rights to The Avengers now – I’m going with Scrooge McDuck. – has just released the official trailer that hits pretty much all the bases you expect it to hit along with some Nine Inch Nails music because apparently kids love nails three inches shy of a foot. Can’t get enough of… More »

The Superficial Presents: ‘The Avengers,’ A Tale of Dumb Face and Peppercorn

It’s been a long, long time since I’ve done a caption gallery this large. In fact, it’s been so many years that the old ones didn’t even survive the migration from Movable Type to WordPress, essentially flushing hours upon hours of my life down the Internet toilet. Ahahahaha! *cries curled up in the shower forMore »

Here’s Scarlett Johansson’s The Avengers Costume in Broad Daylight

Hey, do you think she’s pregnant?

Despite the fact Iron Man 2 was essentially a jumbled, two-hour mess of a trailer for The Avengers that resulted in Jon Favreau bolting the franchise and Robert Downey Jr. cryptically biting the hand that saved him from becoming Charlie Sheen, it still made an assload of… More »

Here’s Captain America’s New Costume in Broad Daylight, Of Course

I don’t know what the hell is going on this summer, but apparently every single movie is shooting directly in front of the paparazzi because now here’s Chris Evans in his new Captain America costume on the Cleveland set of The Avengers. I say new because for those of you who have sex with women,… More »

Cockblocked By War: A Review of ‘Captain America: The First Avenger’

“Oh, so now you’re accusing me of stealing your topless scenes. Where do you get off?

Gabe from Videogum wrote a pitch-perfect opening for his review of X-Men: First Class that now, even more than it did for that movie, says exactly how I felt about Captain America after the credits rolled which… More »

‘Captain America’ Had a Premiere

Captain America, or Captain America: The First Avenger, as absolutely no one is calling it, had its Los Angeles premiere last night and has already won over curmudgeony film critic Jeff Wells who openly dreams of “strafing fanboys” at Comic-Con. So, until I get my review up on Friday because I’m just a simple dick… More »

Captain America is Going Bald

And apparently getting ready for the Top Gun remake. “I’m here for the gay volleyball.”

For some reason Chris Evans felt that a month before his massive summer blockbuster premieres would be a great time to tell E!’s Marc Malkin he’s going bald just in case enough people didn’t think he was horribly… More »

So, Here’s Captain America in ‘The Avengers.’ He Likes Old Navy Tees.

Here’s Chris Evans on Saturday shooting scenes in modern-day Times Square for apparently both the ending of Captain America and the beginning of The Avengers. Although, considering Marvel was still cramming cameos into Thor with barely a month to go before its release, these could just as easily wind up in there. Or Iron ManMore »

Ashley Greene is Banging Captain America

And she’s even wearing the “A.” Fantastic.

Ashley Greene continues to enjoy her return to vaginal penetration after leaving Joe Jonas and has apparently steered her drunken bang-bus toward Captain America himself, Chris Evans, according to People:

But Chris Evans, who stars as the titular superhero in the upcoming action flick,… More »

Super Bowl XLV: ‘Wait, These Are Nerd Movies…’

While the Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers engaged in gridiron combat last night that set the stage for people of low moral fiber to make constant and repetitive rape jokes because Ben Roethlisberger rapes people, several trailers for summer tent poles debuted which you can check out below and quibble over like the nerds… More »

Natalie Portman is Still Pregnant

Let’s play a game. I’ll point out the three things dominating the Internet today, and then you’ll try to keep a straight face while saying it isn’t entirely fueled by nerd-boners. Here we go:

1. Spider-Man getting butt-rammed.
2. The new Captain America poster.
3. Natalie Portman just walking around with… More »

First Look: Chris Evans as Captain America. Now With More Helmet.

You guys wanted more bulge. I got you more bulge.

There have been various images of Chris Evans as Captain America on this net that so intertwines us. First, we had a burrito-stuffed stunt double, so that didn’t really count. Then, Captain America: Old Navy Capris edition because you know who doesn’t watch… More »

Wundergroin: Die Letzte Schlacht!

“Property of Billy Ray, Hitler.” *BOFF*


(Inspired by the events of Die Wundergroin Schlägt Wieder Zu!)

Photo by Noah R-S: Photoshop JesusMore »

Captain America is Not Charlie Sheen And Other News

Click Here for Full Size Version

- Chris Evans talks Captain America. [Entertainment Weekly]

– Hey, look at that. Capri Anderson is naked. [Egotastic]

- Roger Sterling’s book is actually a book. SOLD. [Popeater]

- Justin Bieber is just that beautiful. [Dlisted]

- David BeckhamMore »

Captain America Loves His Old Navy Capris!

Because the last set went over so well (Nerds.), here are actual shots of Chris Evans as Captain America, or more precisely, Steve Rogers, (Okay, I’m the nerd.) while filming in Manchester this morning. Turns out this interpretation of Cap will be light on the shield and tights, but heavy on the Capri pants and… More »

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