Welcome to The Superficial’s Gallery of Celebs Trying to Cheat Nature But Instead Looking Like Quasimodo’s Inbred Cousin, Fullmodo. You guys had such a blast with the last gallery, we decided to give it another go. So, who’s inside? Not even the greatest minds know for sure. But I bet Janice Dickinson’s first – because… More »
Welcome to The Superficial’s Gallery of Mangled Celebs. Here you’ll find a pictorial cavalcade of stars (With bitching commentary of course.) who thought they could cheat nature but ended up looking like, well, see for yourself….
Special thanks to Cindi for an insane amount of hours making my jokes all kinds of navigatable. That… More »
Anyone else think Former Miss Britain Danielle Lloyd has the face of a retarded Drew Barrymore? Redundant, I know, and also a trick question. Danielle Lloyd doesn’t even have a face. Ha! Can’t believe you fell for that.
Photos: The Sun
… More »
Here’s a scantily-clad Halle Berry filming her new movie Frankie and Alice in Vancouver, and scope out the synopsis for this movie from Variety:
Story follows a young woman struggling with multiple personality disorder and torn between who she is and a racist Caucasian alter-personality that preys upon her mind.
So, think the… More »
Please forgive me for the short notice, but I’m writing to request a last minute alteration to my Christmas list. Please replace the following item:
A Pitt-Jolie child dressed as an Ewok complete with spear to attack my enemies.
British Ultimo Lingerie model Nicola McLean despite the stretch… More »
Jennifer Lopez also attended the premiere of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button last night and reminded the world she has breasts; A fact all too many of us seem to forget these days. Honestly, I blame myself. Somehow I hope you guys can find it in your hearts to forgive me – and not… More »
Paris Hilton is in no rush to replace Benji Madden. In fact, she’s downright repulsed by the thought of another relationship, according to The Sun:
“I don’t have dating on my mind at all. Just the thought of dating someone else grosses me out.
However, what doesn’t gross Paris out… More »
What does it say about me as a person that, if Katie Price was selling cyanide capsules, I’d probably buy an entire case and pop them like candy? Besides that I’m awesome and people are genuinely surprised to learn I don’t drive a battleship to work.
Photos: Splash News, WENN … More »
Former Miss England 2004 and British glamour model Danielle Lloyd stopped by Mansion night club in Ireland Saturday night where she displayed my two favorite things in the world. She also drank Guinness. (Hi-YO!) Why can’t more American celebrities dress all cleavagey while brandishing a frosty ale? That’s just downright patriotic! You see, kids, after… More »
Apparently, it’s Hot Chicks Hawking Video Games Week on The Superficial. Thanks, looming holiday season! Today’s hot chick is rising British model Keeley Hazell who, according to Wikipedia, is “noted for her large, natural breasts (bra size 32E).” See, kids, learning is fun. On that note, If you’re curious as to what vehicle Keeley is… More »
Supermodel Heidi Klum does an insane amount of breast jiggling in this new commercial for Guitar Hero: World Tour edition. Basically, she’s in nothing but a bra and panties* reenacting Tom Cruise’s dance scene from Risky Business. My sources tell me Tom found Heidi’s rendition to be “yucky” – then instructed Katie Holmes… More »
Katie “Jordan” Price, who is apparently Paris Hilton’s British BFF these days, went out yesterday with her husband Peter Andre. The two are reportedly having marital problems, but you’ll have this in a relationship where one party has giant tits while the other is gay. Fortunately, there is something they love to do together: SHOPPING! More »
I pretty much pulled the plug on celebrity Halloween pics yesterday but couldn’t resist this set of Ice-T and his wife Coco at Club Plumm Friday night. Mostly because they’re recreating the timeless love scene where Black Punisher bangs Slutty Catwoman from behind – while yanking her tail in public. God, I love Shakespeare.
… More »
A lingerie-clad Mariah Carey and her husband Nick Cannon rode on the back of a fire engine to a Halloween party in New York City last night. So, if you live in the Big Apple and no one responded to your apartment burning down, take comfort knowing these two lovebirds made a grand entrance to… More »
These are pics of Heidi Montag decked out for Halloween, and while I dodged a bullet yesterday, there’s no way I’m not posting this latest set to hit my desk. Chins McJugs dressed up as a slutty cop? That’s everything this site stands for. When The Superficial Writers came over on the Mayflower trying to… More »
Former Danity Kane member Aubrey O’Day got drunk last night partying in West Hollywood and, Jesus, can you tell it’s the slowest news days known to man? Hilary Duff, Sophie Monk, Lance Bass and now Aubrey; where are the real celebrities hiding? Besides Barack Obama’s house – ’cause he’s a Commie! (Beat you to it.)… More »
Katie “Jordan” Price launched her new line of hair care products at SuperDrug in London today wearing another one of her ridiculous outfits, and I don’t know how the hell she’s successfully marketing this shit to women. Katie looks like Two-Face’s stripper sister who got puked on by a pink unicorn. Yeah, that’s probably the… More »
These are shots of Jessica Biel looking chesty at the 3rd Annual Rome International Film Festival, and it’s been so long since she’s been on this site, it’s practically a crime. In fact, the last time I posted about Jessica, a pterodactyl ate my brother. I honored him by clubbing his wife over the head… More »
If you’re wondering why Traci Bingham is popping up a lot lately, it’s because she’s currently starring on FOX’s Gimme My Reality Show! which is a reality show where contestants compete to be on, holy shit, their own reality show. I am nowhere near high enough to contemplate how that concept hasn’t ripped a hole… More »
Christina Aguilera and her husband Jordan Bratman took the big guns out for dinner at L’Atelier de Joel Robuchon restaurant in London last night. I love how Jordan’s wearing his little tux. Goddamn adorable.
JORDAN: PEW PEW PEW! I just shot that guy with my cufflink darts.
CHRISTINA: That’s nice, dear.
JORDAN: I can… More »