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Muhammad Ali Died And Left The World A Prince Story

In which Muhammad Ali fought the Vietnam War and Superman then did magic tricks with Prince. More »


Check Out All These Fancy Bitches Eating Dinner With The President

The White House Correspondents’ Dinner was last night. Here are all the famous people that went there because Obama watches their TV shows. More »


Sarah Palin Literally Blamed Obama For Her Son Punching A Woman

Track Palin punched his girlfriend in the face, and somehow that’s Obama’s fault in Sarah Palin’s moose-addled mind. More »



Meet Your New Pal George Zimmerman, Obama Tear Truther Cockfaces

Did you think Obama’s tears were fake during his gun control speech? Congratulations, you’re just like George Zimmerman. Have fun looking in the mirror. More »


George Zimmerman Retweeted Trayvon Martin’s Dead Body By Accident

George Zimmerman is a good Christian who would never retweet a dead body. Make one, but never retweet it. More »


Kanye West Isn’t Allowed To Talk At The DNC

The general public’s been told that Kanye got put on a leash. What could possibly happen next? More »



Bristol Palin Chimed In On Ahmed Mohamed

Bristol Palin reacted well to President Obama inviting Ahmed Mohamed to the White House. Gotcha! No, she was a real asshole about it. More »


George Zimmerman Has Some Thoughts On The Virginia Shooting

George Zimmerman will bring subtle nuance to a grave tragedy now. Just kidding! He’s here to tweet racist Republican talking points. More »


Obama Just Called Bill Cosby A Rapist

Barack Obama called Bill Cosby a rapist. EVERYBODY OUT OF THE INTERNET! GO GO GO! More »



What The Hell Is The White House Correspondents’ Dinner?

The White House Correspondents’ Dinner: Where journalists get to rub elbows with celebrities and politicians while the country rips itself apart around them. More »


Charlie Sheen Is A Birther, Of Course

Charlie Sheen attacks Obama for filling out his NCAA bracket because cocaine affects the mind. More »


Scott Stapp Threatened To Assassinate Obama

Scott Stapp believes terrorists are hiding around every corner and taking prayer out of public schools has ruined America, so it’s already been established he’s crazy. All the evidence is there. And now comes words that he’d taken his batshit to the next logical step: Wanting to shoot things. Namely Obama for using the IRS… More »



Welp, The Democrats Just Lost

While it’s pretty much a given that today’s midterm elections will favor the Republicans because old, white people have nothing but time on their hands to vote, Kim Kardashian tweeting her support for Obama isn’t helping. You can just go ahead and call the whole thing right now. Not to mention, her “support” basically uses… More »


Gwyneth Paltrow Wants Obama To Get Up In That

Chris Martin has a super-cool new girlfriend, so it behooves Gwyneth Paltrow to one-up him because conscious uncoupling is some hardcore shit. Which brings us to the President of the United States who, granted, is married, but if there’s one thing Gwyneth has taught us it’s that you can cut monogamy out just like gluten. More »


The President Has Seen Alexandra Daddario’s Boobs And So Now Must We

Yesterday, Defamer reported that President Obama personally asked HBO’s CEO for advanced copies of Game of Thrones and True Detective because you know who calls you in that middle of that shit when you’re the president? The talking bill from Schoolhouse Rock. Every time. More importantly, Alexandra Daddario saw Defamer’s post and tweeted this:
More »



Oh, What’s That, Lady GaGa? You’re Marilyn Monroe And R. Kelly Is Obama?

MILEY CYRUS HAS A GIANT CAT PHOTO THAT ALSO WORKS AS A VAGINA JOKE.

Get back in your egg.

Photos: GettyMore »


Oh, STFU, James Woods, You’re Still Going To Work In Hollywood

James Woods recently tweeted his disapproval with Obama over the government shutdown along with one of those bullshit memes your old high school classmates post to Facebook between making fun of black people on food stamps. So naturally here’s Fox News to hype up James’ fear that he’ll never work in Hollywood again because it’s… More »


A U.S. Congresswoman Believes The Biblical End Times Have Started Because Obama

Continuing our series of Pointing Out The Crazy, Outdated Superstitions of The People Who Decide Our Laws, here’s Michele Bachmann telling Christian radio show Understanding The Times that the events in the Book of Revelation are happening in real life because Barack Obama armed Al Qaeda except he didn’t, at all. But that’s entirely irrelevant… More »



Samuel L. Jackson’s Playboy Interview Is Amazing

Samuel L. Jackson has a new interview in the October issue of Playboy, and it is a goddamn breath of fresh air after the whining, tone-deaf bullshit coming out of Kanye West and Chris Brown’s mouths. I highly recommend reading the whole thing, but if you’re strapped for time, here are some highlights on the… More »


Obama Sent Jay-Z To Cuba To Steal Our White Women

Despite thousands of Americans visiting Cuba every year, Republicans got their panties in a bunch this week when Jay-Z and Beyonce vacationed in Havana. A situation that didn’t get any better when Jay-Z decided to release a track called “Open Letter” where he says Barack Obama gave him clearance forcing the White House to make… More »


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