When Suri Cruise Hides Her Face, Stop Taking Her Goddamn Picture

August 17th, 2011 // 46 Comments

When it comes to celebrities versus the paparazzi I will almost always go to bat for the paps because despite what pampered stars who work three months out of the year say, taking their picture is a real job. It’s called supply and demand. Not to mention, without the paparazzi this site would be dead in the water, and then we’d all be denied snapshots of life’s foibles like this gem. That being said, when a five-year-old little girl who’s the only celebrity around shields her face because you’re scaring the shit out of her, put your camera down and walk the fuck way. And, seriously, there’s an entire set of these I didn’t download out of.. principle? Am I using that word right? It’s new to me. Anyway, yes, Suri Cruise is adorable and nobody really knows how she got here because it sure wasn’t intercourse – I like to imagine she burst out of an egg like the facehuggers in Aliens. – that doesn’t give you carte blanche to frighten the piss out of her.

Now, on the other side of that token, if someone like Nicole Richie hides her face because she forgot her make-up, you take that whore’s picture like it’s the goddamn antidote. Shit, chase her in her car. No one cares.

Photos: Flynet, Splash News


  1. I’d hide my face too if I had that turd’s DNA.

  2. suri didn’t put herself out there like her parents, so yeah leave her alone. in fact, since it’s perfectly legal for celebs to murder people in california, why wouldn’t katie wear a kalashnikov over her shoulder at all times?

  3. Leopolo

    Are you sure that’s a little girl and not an 80 year old midget? The shoes are throwing me for a loop.

    • DogBoy

      well played. I can agree with the ‘leave her alone’ sentiment, and STILL laugh at her clothes being critiqued. thx.

  4. hmna

    Fish just knows that Suri will cut a bitch.

    Don’t fuck with her.

  5. V

    Awww poor bb :’(

    Most paparazzi are so gross and scary looking. Poor kid.

  6. The Brown Streak

    I’m still waiting on her to go all Weston Cage on the paparazzi

    • Schmidtler

      Suri Cruise would whip Weston Cage’s ass without even putting down her doll or breaking a sweat. She scares me. If she was walking down the street towards me, I’d cross the street. And pee my pants.

  7. Richard McBeef

    Yeah, leave her alone. Dumbass paparazzi are causing her mental anguish and it’s not like $cientology offers a free kid’s audit with purchase of one adult audit.

  8. Frank Burns

    +1, no matter how messed up her parents may or may not be, she’s just a kid, leave her alone

  9. Weston Cage got his martial art moves. Suri got Talking Tina’s sister.

  10. amber

    leave suri alone….she’s not even with her parents in the shot….
    also, just because we dont live the life that tom and katie live that doesnt mean that they are messed up……

  11. Maria

    The only thing that the picture shows is that she’s way to big to be carried like a baby wrapped in a blanket.

    • Voiceless

      What the fuck do you know about parenthood? I bet your life is so rich and fulfilled whilst you post utter shit on this rag.

    • PoorMaryKelly

      Just cuz your parents didn’t give a shit about you doesn’t mean all parents are like that. You’re just a heartless minge.

      • The Listener

        Voiceless and PoorMaryKelly, your responses to Maria’s opinion are way, way over the top with anger. Lighten up!

  12. C.

    Word, baby!

  13. Help

    Leave the kid alone, does anyone care that Suri Cruise was seen walking around?

  14. Am I the only one gagging on the hypocrisy of chastising the paparazzi for taking photos that are then posted on this site to sell ads?

    I’m not particularly interested in defending the celebrities who don’t want their photos takes after taking millions in paychecks, nor am I aghast that their children are exposed to the lifestyle that their parents chose to immerse them in. If I were to get upset about it, I’d be pointing the finger at their parents…who have the option at ANY TIME of dropping out of their celebrity status, but choose not to.

    All that being said, posting photos for purposes of making profit…and then saying “it’s terrible that these photos were taken…these right here, click to see larger versions, and don’t miss the gallery of more of them” is comical.

    • Jade

      I thought this was the first sensible post fish has made in well…ever. If Fish would be tasteful he wouldn’t post any picture of her at all. But because he isn’t and this site isn’t (and let’s be honest, if we were interested in tasteful posts we’d be elsewhere) this is what you get. Though I have to say the point he makes is valid: the kid’s parents chose this lifestyle, not her. So though the paps make their living this way and this site needs pictures to exist, that doesn’t mean they can’t lay off after they’ve taken a few pics of a little girl. No need to snap another hundred.

    • scat cat

      Had to scroll halfway down the thread before someone called out Fish on this blatant hypocrisy! Thank you McFeely.

    • fletcher

      he also regularly posts pictures of little kids in awkward “suggestive” positions with adults that aren’t even redeemably funny. i have a dark/dirty sense of humor, but leave the kids alone, creepo.

    • girl

      I would agree but I suspect he’s telling the truth about other photos he didn’t post. Which means that we will no longer be seeing kids on this site? Right? From this post forward, kids are off limits? Only that move would make his word good.

      That said, it is also not cool to tell the scumbag paps it is ok to chase people in cars. People get killed that way. Not even a little funny.

      And while I am at it, drop the rape comments, too. Go back to the days when the site was funny, say two-three years ago? Now it often reads like a little boys club. And I do mean little, guessing median age to be 14.

  15. Voiceless

    Does anyone else see the sheer hypocrisy of this website lambasting the paparazzi whilst still posting the picture to get hits? This website is just as bad as the papps, as are all of you morons for clicking the link and fucking shame on me for falling for this shit as well. You, me, him and her are all a fucking disgrace. Leave the poor little kid alone.

  16. Expert on Everything

    I love the Fish even more now. So true! You da bomb!

  17. Caroline

    Shes covering up her face with her baby doll.. So sad..

  18. Venom

    What the fuck is with these paparazzi running around taking photos of people’s kids?
    That is just creepy and unacceptable. They have been stalking this child since the day she was born.

  19. kimmykimkim

    It’s her parents’ fault for parading her around since she was born. If they really gave a shit, we would have no idea what this kid looks like.

  20. kimmykimkim

    But in all honesty, kids are dicks especially at that age, so actually I don’t really feel sorry for her. And no I don’t have kids. Those little fuckers are a life sentence.

  21. She’s a kid. Fuck off until she’s 18, or shows her vag at 17, like Taylor Momsen.

  22. Nicole Richie No Make Up
    Facebook Me
    Commented on this photo:

    Hasn’t she ever heard of a hat? As in, pull it down over her face.

  23. McFaq

    Did anyone notice that the doll looks like her dad?

  24. Pat C.

    “who have the option at ANY TIME of dropping out of their celebrity status,”
    Really? I’ll bet Casey Anthony would love to know how to work that option .

    • juaquin ingles

      People are already forgetting about her. People in general have very short memories and attention spans.

  25. Kim

    But you have to admire Tom’s pedi. Blue is so in this year.

  26. heynow

    Umm to Fish Nicole said that she really doesn’t know how to do makeup (at least the way professionals do for them) so she doesn’t always like to wear any (take that for worth if any) especially given that you see her with nothing on her face, hell I don’t think she even bothers to put on earrings when going out (esp. the gym lol) with her folks. Besides boho chic or whatever she goes by nowadays isn’t known for always glaming it up. Wait a sec, you said no one cares anyhow but they and you are still putting up her pics…..

    Amen to Pat C. though the person you’re talking about deserves it, (if she’s actually guilty, I know I know) Most of the time if someone becomes famous, and I mean really famous, then there’s a chance they’ll never truly drop out of celebrity status, I know Marlon Brando tried with an island til’ he got nearly ran out of there (his kids’ situation/tragedy, there) and his old pal Johnny Depp is sheepishly trying with one as well.

  27. forrest gump

    oooooooooooh no………………DON’T FORGET HER PARENRS(tom) USES HER!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. Harry Pooter

    Yet notice how Fish still posted a pic of it and put it on the news of the day…hmm I thought we should just leave the poor 5 year old scared girl alone. Not fill our page with it and make money off of it

  29. Tom

    see in england we have a magical law that says that photos of celeb children cannot be published … arguably one of the better laws.

  30. Annie

    I laughed my ass off about the nicole richie part. All so true. Great post.

  31. Suri Cruise Hides Face
    Commented on this photo:

    cute doll but you don’t talk with media why .
    Nitric Oxide

  32. Suri Cruise Hides Face
    Commented on this photo:


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