!!SPOILER ALERT!! The New Spider-Man’s Going To Have Even More Gay Sex

Photo Boy / April 30, 2013

Posted by Photo Boy

While I think comic books are cool and have spawned some decent flicks, I don’t really know much about them. I have no clue what it means for something to be “cannon,” or whether anything happening in these photos is some amazing reference to an issue where the author hinted at a link to another universe because those blueprints are actually plans for a Death Star. GRAB YOUR INHALERS I MIXED TWO NERDY GENRES IN ONE JOKE BLASPHEMY!! Having not hermetically sealed my penis to retain its value, I understand the subtle nuances of romance and you can’t tell me this isn’t a sex scene. There’s the gentle disrobing of foreplay, followed by a brief resistance to succumb to one’s own desire, then the passionate lover’s embrace which in my case always ends in post-coital regret and shame. Plus, it’s part of this unnecessarily re-booted franchise which has already proven their playbook is nothing but shit we’ve already seen in previous versions. BOOM! — Take that, geeks! I’m fired, aren’t I?

Photo: Splash News