♫ Here Comes The Spider-Man… ♫

February 4th, 2011 // 77 Comments

Or maybe just that guy.

In case you’ve been literally nowhere on the Internet this morning, the new Spider-Man movie has officially crossed the line from unnecessary reboot to the most intricate gay porn since Top Gun. On that note, that noise you just heard was every single exec at Sony realizing they’ve financed a movie where Spider-Man gets downward dogged in a parking lot. Which, let’s be honest, is going to move a shit-ton of action figures. To you, not me.

*Googles pre-orders*

Aw, sweet. This one shoots web-goo.

Photos: Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Spider-Man
    Jwill
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh GOD…this is too gay for words…

  2. Spider-Man
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ve never tossed a spider salad before!”

  3. Spider-Man
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    This sexual position is known as the Reverse Andre The Giant.

  4. Spider-Man
    blonde
    Commented on this photo:

    Brown-eye surprise!

  5. Spider-Man
    electricgrl
    Commented on this photo:

    He pulled the Spiderman mask off his assailant and it turned out to be Jennifer Love Hewitt.

  6. Spider-Man
    Commented on this photo:

    Spider balls, spider balls, does whatever spider balls do.

  7. Spider-Man
    Commented on this photo:

    Not as gay as the new Spiderman tap shoes, but damn close.

  8. Spider-Man
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    UGH! I can smell your balls….

  9. Spider-Man
    The Royal Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    The smell of my spidey cock will knock you out!

    Take that! Blam! Boom! Bop!

    *gasp* *choke*

  10. Spider-Man
    Commented on this photo:

    Remember, villains… don’t neglect the balls.

  11. Spider-Man Ass Butt
    May
    Commented on this photo:

    DAT. ASS.

  12. Spider-Man
    Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    AWWWF!!! Doctor Oc did a HORRIBLE circumcision!

  13. Spider-Man
    Commented on this photo:

    open you mouth and say !AHHHH!!!

  14. Spider-Man
    Urvag
    Commented on this photo:

    This is one of Travolta’s wet dreams isn’t it?

  15. Spider-Man
    Commented on this photo:

    [Director] CUT!!! Dammit!! We have to shoot the scene again, it’s not called “Spider-Man: No Cum Dodging” for no reason!

  16. Spider-Man
    Dennis
    Commented on this photo:

    Seth Green finally gets to live out his fantasy of bangin’ Spider-Man.

  17. Spider-Man
    Mumbler
    Commented on this photo:

    Spiderman… Spiderman…
    friendly neighbourhood Spiderman…
    catches thieves with his thighs
    Grabs their skull
    and fucks their eyes
    Look out!
    Here comes the Spiderman!

  18. Spider-Man
    Horseradish
    Commented on this photo:

    there is! XD i think the one outside is his stunt double. :D

  19. Spider-Man
    renotastic
    Commented on this photo:

    Spiderman went in for the belt. Stayed for the sweaty man-on-man action.

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