She really, really shouldn’t have.
Sticking closely to the MTV Reality Star Playbook, here’s Snooki and her new boyfriend Jionni LaValle posing for a Valentine’s-themed photo shoot and this guy seriously deserves an Olympic medal in gold-digging. Try telling a seasoned digger their next mark is a bear cub with a spastic colon, and they’ll look you dead in the eye and tell you no score is worth that. But not Jionni LaValle: Man-digger. He’ll piggy back, bare back, beef jerky run back, you fucking name it. He probably spent months in a secluded cabin dumping pickles on a brown bean bag chair psyching himself up. There are Navy SEALs who go into combat less prepared.
SEAL #1: Wanna look at this map?
SEAL #2: Nah. It’s not like we’re banging a slutty Ewok.
SEAL #1: Why would you even say that?
SEAL #2: I was just making a joke…
SEAL #1: Wow. I.. I need a therapist. This just got way too real.
SEAL #2: What? We blow up schools for a living.
SEAL #1: Slutty slut slut Ewok… GET IT OUTTA MY HEAD! *blows brains out*
Based on a true story.
Photos: Splash News
Apparently Snookie tried to act sexy, and every plant in the room died.
Fucking her must be like wrestling your hot cousin when you were younger; overwhelming guilty and oddly unsatisfying
Damn fish, this is the one you bumped to the top today??
Barf…
What happened two seconds after this photo was taken:
Snooki yells “Psych!” and gobbles up that piece of chocolate herself.
Is that the dish they’re serving this valentines day. I never realized that sausage is the new Aphrodisiac. What restaurant are they serving this dish?
Valentine’s Day Massacre II, 14 Feb, 2011. Victims: my eyes.
And you thought those little candy hearts tasted bad…
I’m straight, but I’d do a dude before I’d screw that pile of excrement
How disgusting that he will have sex with an EWOK for fame… Snookie reminds me of a bad porno movie where they may have experimented with animals back in the 1970′s. Pretty much a dumb, useless broad that offers nothing to society except good zoo jokes…
How disgusting that he will have sex with an EWOK for fame… Snookie reminds me of a bad porno movie where they may have experimented with animals back in the 1970’s. Pretty much a dumb, useless broad that offers nothing to society except good zoo jokes…
It’s an EWOK humpbacking a moron…. Good thing her beaver is covered as I’m sure she is one with nature and has an amazon jungle between her wookie legs….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8071NPf_T8
It’s snookie’s family song….
EWOK and Wookie mate to create snookie…..
A rectangle with arms and a head of hair. Meh.
I didnt know that stuffing 10 pounds of shit in a six pound bag counted as a valentine.
her man is pretty sexy (although probably really short?).. good for her!
weight of the worlds
The A-10 was designed to provide close air support (CAS) for ground forces by attacking tanks, armored vehicles, and other ground targets with a limited air interdiction capability. It is designed exclusively for close air support.
Tis a warthog indeed…
That’s fantastic
Not for nothing, but that dude is gay. Remember who called it.
He’s too good looking to be with her, that’s for darn sure. Didn’t she claim to like juicehead guidos anyway? How did she wind up with a guy who looks like he should be in a Gap ad???
“A monogrammed diaphragm case, Just what I wanted!”
BAW HAW HAW!!! Good one!
Isn’t it unsafe to pile that much toxic waste in one room?
Just God Awful…
His eyebrows are nicer than mine….
Like srsly thought she would have lost the weight by now. Not being mean but she’s average size. Heck, Was-her-name Pratt did!
I didn’t know the Tauntaun rode Luke Skywalker. George Lucas was full of shit.
These comments are too funny! Thanks for the laughs!
100 bucks says this dude fractured a disk in his back carrying this troll around and now has to have his shirt dry cleaned cause we all know she left a foul stain on it !!! Sweet dreams you poor bastard..
HURRRRRR, there’s a mental image I will not be able to be rid of! Quick, where are the Hugh Jackman pictures! STAT!
Snail Trail!!!
The question is, WHY do VH1, E!, and Superficial insist on posting garbage like this? I never even HEARD of this troll before I made the mistake of going onto this website.
Looks like a jet flew into one of those candy conversation heart factories and left carnage all over the place. What a train wreck. Where are the hearts that say, “WTF! GET IT OFF ME!!”
Dignity: You’re doing it wrong.
Is it me or do they kind of look like brother and sister?
I just about pissed myself laughing when I saw this! Nothing about this photo shoot is okay. Why is she promoting herself as sexy? Even if she didn’t look like a burn victim her personality is disgusting enough to stay away. She is no princess, just a spoiled whore who has no talent, sexy appeal or real world skills. But put stupid people on TV and stupid people will watch it at home. FUCK!
Not quite a burn victim, but she has nothing to offer. She is VERY short, overweight, ugly hair, fake tan and fucky eyes. And her voice kills me. Every time I heard her whine I wanted to choke someone! Did that shit really work on her parents? I dont understand how someone can develop so many ugly mannerisms. Blame the fucking parents. And I hope everything about her character is blown out of purporting just for the show, but I doubt it. Before I even knew anything about the Jersey Shore, I knew enough about Snooki to be thrilled when I heard she got punched in the show. All of the other characters are just as bad! Its painting a bad picture for people.
Nice gunt
ACtually, he looks rather Handsome and nice,
FOR BEING MENTALLY HANDICAPPED THAT IS!!!
seriously, he is either:
1.GAY and is all a front
2. Mentally retarded
3. a male prostitute that she is paying,
there is NO way he is not one of the three
So I think this establishes who’s the pitcher and who’s the catcher in this relationship.
yep, I LOVE HER TOO………..
I suppose This guy is a midget as Ewokie.
Snookie smells like pussy everytime…
Imaginable that the name Snooki is easily associated with ‘pooky’. Maybe that’s the key of her success but she herself likes to be called Nicole.
Live hard, die young. RIP Snooki
my eyes, they BURN !!!!!!!! please god make the dirty ewok stop!
who knew manatee porn would be so popular.
shitheads.
GodDAMN this chick is gross. I can’t even be clever about it, she’s just flat-out nasty.
This is obviously photoshopped. “Princess” should read “Pork Chops” and they were on sale at Costco for Valentines Day.
Not enough coke in the world…
I don’t like soft cream filled valentines.
I need hypnotherapy, and a fork to gouge out my eyes.
I love Snooki. I love Snooki so much.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!
…….that is all.
THE E-E-E-E-EEEEEEEWOKS