Our Forefathers Fought For This

July 5th, 2011 // 231 Comments

Yes, gentlemen, the rumors are true: You can get gay-married in New York! Huzzah!

Like a scene out of Block-Shaped Sluts 6, Snooki and Deena Cortese celebrated the Fourth of July weekend by getting so sloppy Cannoli-shit-hammered, Snooki had to be carried off the beach, again, while Deena raped innocent bystanders using nothing but brute force and strategic belly-flops. Later, she’d grow a big red beard and tell Frodo all about the Mines of Moria and how it’d be safe to travel through them.

Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. Cock Dr

    I know they provide lots of funny photos, but please quit covering these a-holes.

  2. ezilla

    double ugly fat burger

  3. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Liliy
    Commented on this photo:

    Lol, she’s on top of Pauly D.
    His life is probably flashing before his eyes.

  4. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Jared
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t ever try and tell me the beaches on the east coast are comparable to the ones here in California. This, being photo evidence.

    • Personification of the Gods that built Mount Olympus

      Beaches in Florida>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> California beaches

      • Jared

        HAH! Dude, don’t kid yourself, Florida sucks. The mere thought of that muggy, tacky, racist, shitdick of a state makes me want to puke.

    • Admiral Kirk

      Yeah Jared, the cold, dirty water and filthy sand in SoCal are awesome.

  5. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    Two of the ugliest drag impersonators ever. Where’s your pride, Mary?!

  6. TomFrank

    What is that? Side-pitboob?

  7. JaneDoe

    No freakin way those are female…

    • obz

      your right, and i blame greenpeace.

      if the fuckers hadnt stopped whaling these two ‘blobs’ would have been harpooned and getting served in some backstreet sushi bar in osaka right now.

      two fucking disgusting skanks

  8. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    Crash
    Commented on this photo:

    I looks like his nipple has a little fu-manchu mustache thing going on.

  9. Knuckles Muldoon

    Please show less beached whales. Thank you. Gonna go clean up my vomit now.

  10. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “Uhhhhhhhhh…is there any alcohol in it?”

  11. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    bewbs
    Commented on this photo:

    these pics made my day.

  12. I thought this was why we have Guantanamo Bay.

  13. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Erik the Red
    Commented on this photo:

    When I look at this photo, I suddenly get hungry for pancakes.

    Odd, right?

  14. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Commented on this photo:

    Daniel Negreanu’s date needs a diaper change.

  15. TomFrank

    When did Deena start eclipsing JWoww in popularity? And by eclipse, I mean more than just the literal “moved her fat ass between JWoww and the camera.”

  16. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Andyca
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG!!! My eyes!!! My eyes!!!

  17. Deacon Jones

    How do these heffers have mixed drinks on the beach.

    You can’t fart on a beach in NJ without the PD arresting you.

  18. anonym

    who the fuck is that man in the bikini?

  19. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Commented on this photo:

    Stand back, everyone – the sea turtle is about to lay its eggs!

  20. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Andyca
    Commented on this photo:

    Did someone kill me?? Cause’ i think i’m in HELL!!!

  21. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    snarky_the_lurker
    Commented on this photo:

    bigfoot pose. nice. solid. manly lady.

  22. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    DOucHe BaGELs
    Commented on this photo:

    IT’S GONZO WITH TITS!!!

  23. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s only cute when attractive people are involved.

  24. Venom

    Make it stop, make it stop please.

  25. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Commented on this photo:

    Even her ass wants to escape her.

  26. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    OMFG
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a fucking Ewok poonlip.

  27. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Commented on this photo:

    Should we wrap her in wet towels and hope high tide pulls her back in? Or just blow her up with dynamite?

  28. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    N
    Commented on this photo:

    meatflap.

  29. smiley

    So much for that diet eh Snooks?

  30. Trent Wesley -Tarelot

    Are these the retarded Chimps that Tracy Morgan so valiantly warned us about ?
    We should have them spayed so as to not allow the sub – species to propagate

  31. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    You just know these guys had sex with her while she was passed out. But then that’s what the tattoo on her ankle says. “If found, please double-team.”

  32. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Waldo
    Commented on this photo:

    In the event of a water landing, please use your floatation de….aaaaagh!! Kill it! KILL IT!!

  33. How many straight men ended up turning gay that day after having to witness that?

  34. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    whitey
    Commented on this photo:

    Her teeth look like a sawzall blade after it hit a few sixteen penny nails.

  35. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Commented on this photo:

    Paps catch the moment Deena’s herpes blisters burst.

  36. Cardinal Fang

    Or Forefather’s wouldn’t have fought so hard if they thought that this is what it would come to.

  37. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Next up on the World’s Strongest Man 2011, the Snooki Lift.

  38. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Amanda
    Commented on this photo:

    I believe the term for that is “squirting”.

  39. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why is the back of my neck burning?”

  40. CptCreep

    So many rolls… you’d think it was Thanksgiving…

  41. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    “Point Pleasant”?

    *Grabs dictionary*

    “Misnomer… misnomer… misno – here it is! I was right!:”

  42. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Amanda
    Commented on this photo:

    The poor whale washed up on the shore and became tangled in an Ed Hardy tee shirt. It did not survive.

  43. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Amanda
    Commented on this photo:

    Everyone! Out of the water! The sea beast has risen!

  44. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Deucepickle
    Commented on this photo:

    So uh, maybe later you want to come over and fix my sink ?

  45. Donald Trump

    That’s a man baby! Either that or two escaped pigs.

  46. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow. I’ve got 60-year old aunts who look better than that.

  47. rican

    I hereby formally retract my earlier statement that I would fuck either of those two…things.

  48. Rabbit

    Damn! First look I thought that was David Lee Roth

  49. Deucepickle

    This just goes to prove that any female any where at any time can have sex whenever she wants

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