Snooki Crashed Into a Police Car

May 31st, 2011 // 58 Comments

“Issa okay, Mr. DeVito. I no tella the people you a famous movie star.”

Because cop-killin’ tastes likes pickles, yo, Snooki managed to crash her car directly into the Italian police escort tasked to keep her safe Monday afternoon, leaving two officers in the hospital. Of course, in everyone’s defense, who could’ve honestly predicted a drunk midget sitting on phone books would be a goddamn menace behind the wheel? I mean, just reading that last sentence, you already get a sense of how good this must’ve looked on paper. “And here’sa where the little Ewok man drive-a the car, and we pretend we inna Star Wars until we eatta the spaghetti and twirla our mustaches cussa we all inna the Mafia.”

NOTE: Can we all agree this is a man? Because I’m starting to feel like Shatner in The Twilight Zone. “There’s something… on the wing… and it has… a penis.”

Photos: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Chupacabra

    I knew this would somehow end in them all getting deported. Snooki, can you say, “Persona non grata?” With cheese?

  2. snookie's a moran

    This headline was the perfect start to my day. HA!

  3. She can’t help it if the smell of bacon is too powerful to overcome.

  4. Snooki Police Car Crash
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    So this is what it has come to for Paul Reiser? Yikes.

  5. Snooki Police Car Crash
    Bluto
    Commented on this photo:

    New game over pic for Mario Bros.

  6. Snooki Police Car Crash
    Bluto
    Commented on this photo:

    Ossifer, is there something green between my teeth?

  7. Michelle

    She couldn’t open the door cause her fingers were still too sticky from the pizza she was eating while driving.

  8. Nigel Ben

    Well the good news is the police car can be repaired, sadly though we still have an ewok with us

  9. Snooki Police Car Crash
    slim
    Commented on this photo:

    there are people whose job it is to keep her safe? no wonder she hasn’t been fed to a pack of hyenas already…

  10. sasha

    Please , please keep her.

  11. Venom

    He has a gun, why the fcuk did he not use it and do mankind a favor.

  12. BigDaddy

    Little Ugly bitch couldn’t get out of the car. That just shows what kind of person she is. DIRT!

  13. Ray

    Why did that little ditchpig get a police escort anyway??

  14. Snooki Police Car Crash
    wow
    Commented on this photo:

    seriously, what a stupid stupid girl.

  15. Snooki Police Car Crash
    wow
    Commented on this photo:

    these chicks look like dudes in some sort of drag… wtf

  16. the captain

    this just can’t be.
    THE POLICE CRASHED INTO HER, folks?

  17. Snooki Police Car Crash
    amanda
    Commented on this photo:

    hahahahaha thats not Snookie, thats he stunt double Tom

  18. Snooki Police Car Crash
    Deuce Bigalow
    Commented on this photo:

    “I told her to step on the short fat pedal!” This is proof that Snookis mind is programmed to see thing different from the rest of the world.

  19. Snooki Police Car Crash
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like the “doctor” that did her nose job is the same onbe who did tara reid’s cans!

  20. italians make the best cars, but they’re the worst fuckin drivers. and since the saying goes, “when in rome”..

    • Italians make the flashiest cars…quality and comfort are absolutely terrible. It’s like everything else made in italy..it’s all about looks, and who cares that someone is going to try to use the damn thing. Seriously, sit in a Ferrari sometime, a Kia has a better interior.

      • Interesting. And i thought trading in the e-class for a hybrid was a tough call..

        Actually i witnessed one of the strangest road rage incidents ever in Rome, back in the 70s. Two cars hit head-on at low speed, in front of our bistro table. One guy got out and started stomping like frankenstein on the hood/bonnet of the other guy’s car. Then the other guy gets out and frankenstomps the first guys hood. This went on for literally a couple mins, then they just up and stopped, and drove off in their own directions again.
        Must be something in the red gravy there..

      • WTF? That sounds absolutely crazy! I would love to have seen that shit! fucking red gravy? damn…

  21. Mike

    No wonder other countries don’t like us-this is the kind of s##t that makes us look bad. Send these ppl back to Jersey and quit rewarding bad behavior. I am embarrased as an American.

    • Exactly. It’s so easy to bash Americans (and fun too) What the rest of the world forgets is that there are decent hard working Americans, like yourself, out there. You just don’t make the news so we only ever hear about your snookis. And on a side note, is that a radio on his boot?

  22. It had to be said

    Mr. DeVito. Pure genius.

  23. Snooki Police Car Crash
    Shatner?
    Commented on this photo:

    You probably mean John Lithgow in Twilight Zone – the movie, but well, it is not like you make much sense anyway.

  24. Shatner?

    You probably mean John Lithgow in Twilight Zone – the movie, but well, it is not like you normally make much sense anyway.

  25. She probably got distracted by a gelato stand.

  26. Police escort? What is she, the Jerry Lewis of Italy? I always thought she was the Jenna Jameson of Endor.

  27. Richard McBeef

    Is that what italian cops really look like or was it costume night at the gay bar?

  28. Snooki Police Car Crash
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve seen prettier drag queens – with less 5 o’clock shadow.

  29. Snooki Police Car Crash
    WoodyWoodman
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn,

    Sean Penn is starting to look quite pretty….

  30. UnholyKrep

    When is this furry turd going to be flushed down the fame toilet? Please, someone pull the chain already.

  31. Snooki Police Car Crash
    Commented on this photo:

    How mucha fixa prolem? Hey, choo gotta ceegret, mang?

  32. Snooki Police Car Crash
    Eric
    Commented on this photo:

    Shatner was in the original episode on which that sequence from the movie was based.

  33. Eric

    Am I the only one reading Fish’s bad Italian accent as Father Guido Sarducci in my head?

  34. welldoneson

    are all the policemen in Italy dressed as gayly as this guy?

    I mean, those boots allow him to fly, right?
    And that lovely white holster is just to DIE for!

  35. Inmate 12236969

    What’s up with the white belt, and radio/paddle in his boot? Hey NYPD send one of you finest to teach them who to dress.

    Come to think of it he should have took that paddle and beat her big ass with it.

  36. booboo

    staged, the camera on the windscreen

  37. Lis

    WHO WROTE THIS STUPID-ASS ARTICLE?! I DIDN’T GET THE HUMOR AT ALL!

  38. Sharkbait

    So basically it was a pig pile?

  39. Nothing says Italian Hard Ass like a boot radio…

  40. Jim

    I about choked to death when I read the Mr. Devito line – hilarious!

  41. Snooki Lover

    “Can we all agree this is a man?”

    Universal agreement … denied.

  42. Snooki Police Car Crash
    Normal Male
    Commented on this photo:

    Too bad it didn’t kill the stupid cunt.

  43. Fucking Italians. Even the cops turn their collars up.

  44. Snooki Police Car Crash
    Lakiesha
    Commented on this photo:

    If ifonrmaiotn were soccer, this would be a goooooal!

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