Snooki Crashed Into a Police Car

“Issa okay, Mr. DeVito. I no tella the people you a famous movie star.”

Because cop-killin’ tastes likes pickles, yo, Snooki managed to crash her car directly into the Italian police escort tasked to keep her safe Monday afternoon, leaving two officers in the hospital. Of course, in everyone’s defense, who could’ve honestly predicted a drunk midget sitting on phone books would be a goddamn menace behind the wheel? I mean, just reading that last sentence, you already get a sense of how good this must’ve looked on paper. “And here’sa where the little Ewok man drive-a the car, and we pretend we inna Star Wars until we eatta the spaghetti and twirla our mustaches cussa we all inna the Mafia.”

NOTE: Can we all agree this is a man? Because I’m starting to feel like Shatner in The Twilight Zone. “There’s something… on the wing… and it has… a penis.”

Photos: Pacific Coast News