Slash is Getting a Divorce

August 30th, 2010 // 38 Comments

Proving a long-held theory of mine that rock stars should never get married because Mick Jagger is 106 and still gets free ass, Slash is reportedly divorcing his wife of nine years and, basing this on absolutely nothing but them being on the same stage this weekend (Journalism!), is now entangled in a an epic struggle to turn Fergie‘s penis into a vagina using nothing but tasty licks. — That came out all kinds of wrong. Via Popeater:

Sources close to the pair tell TMZ “the breakup is extremely acrimonious.”
Slash and Perla’s date of separation is listed as July 15, 2010. There was no prenuptial agreement and Slash is reportedly willing to pay spousal support.

I love how they say Slash is “willing” to pay alimony as if there was some sort of choice in the matter. That’s like me saying I’m “willing” to die right after getting shot in the pancreas. “No, no, I want to pass away. This is all me. I’m in control here. Even when I just shit myself a minute ago. That was by choice.”

(I was supposed to describe dying not paying spousal support back there, wasn’t I? HIYO!)

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Taz

    His shirt is awesome

  2. i’ll be paying my wife alimony even though legally she blew it. btw take a slash means have a piss in england. never liked this guys stage name. or band.

  3. Jake

    Listen up everyone:

    If God blesses you and allows you to become a rock star, DO NOT EVER GET MARRIED.

    Get it? ROCK STAR = UNLIMITED HOT WET YOUNG TIGHT PUSSY

    Why do anything to interfere with this irrefutable equation?

  4. Richard McBeef, MD-MPH

    GNR 89-93 baddest ass ever?

    discuss.

  5. Slash Performs With Fergie
    oooaaahhh
    Commented on this photo:

    what a shot!!

  6. Zuma Beach

    Why does he always wear that silly flower pot on his head? Is he bald and its holding down his Halloween fright wig or what? He looks like he has a face lift, too, just like that other guy in his band, the singer, what’s his name.

  7. Why not? He just wants to go back to threesome with random chicks and their moms……

    .

  8. Anon

    Spousal support for around a year.
    If thats not long enough for her to sort her life out and get a job then tough. When you get divorced you’re trying to get them out of your life not keep them around because you can’t look after yourself like a grown up should.

  9. Slash Performs With Fergie
    JustGil
    Commented on this photo:

    I rule…Gil

  10. Slash Performs With Fergie
    james
    Commented on this photo:

    fergie looks good. i’d fuck her.

  11. Slash Performs With Fergie
    TheConfuddledOne
    Commented on this photo:

    First

  12. Debbie

    He has very nice teeth.

    I really can’t tell if he is good looking or not since all I ever see are pictures of this guys teeth.

    I think he’s related to the Cheshire Cat or Dr. Seuss’ – Cat in the Hat..

  13. Slash Performs With Fergie
    Jake
    Commented on this photo:

    Fergie has been working on her fitness.

  14. The first two picts of Fergie were pretty hot until pict 3 where her johnson is full frontal. I guess tucking technology has made some leaps.

  15. Slash Performs With Fergie
    On/Off
    Commented on this photo:

    dancin like a ho

  16. itsmejim

    ok im confused what does slash getting divorced have to with fergie and a penis dude sometimes your rants make no sense to anyone but you lol

  17. captain america

    pssssssst: SPERM IS HIS “TASTE” FROM NOW ON………..

  18. Slash Performs With Fergie
    Snooki's Taint
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m disappointed. No pee.

  19. KANYEISGAY

    Wonder if Obama can still grow hair like that. Somebody photoshop that.

  20. LD

    Ya, GNR sucked. Lets go listen to Drake,Bieber,Miley,(Insert auto-tune musician here or every disney creation)

  21. Slash Performs With Fergie
    aniuschka
    Commented on this photo:

    i don´t know why but fergie looks really good here….?!

  22. Slash Performs With Fergie
    sam
    Commented on this photo:

    Part of the reason Fergie looks good is because we are so used to her looking bad. The fishnets, boots, leather with studs and cleavage are working, her legs look great, and the booty pose doesn’t hurt.

    And she hasn’t pissed her pants yet, so that’s helping out too.

  23. Anonymous

    GOOD! I was involved in a transaction with Slash and Perla, and she is the world’s BIGGEST BITCH. He’s actually a really nice guy.

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