Proving a long-held theory of mine that rock stars should never get married because Mick Jagger is 106 and still gets free ass, Slash is reportedly divorcing his wife of nine years and, basing this on absolutely nothing but them being on the same stage this weekend (Journalism!), is now entangled in a an epic struggle to turn Fergie‘s penis into a vagina using nothing but tasty licks. — That came out all kinds of wrong. Via Popeater:
Sources close to the pair tell TMZ “the breakup is extremely acrimonious.”
Slash and Perla’s date of separation is listed as July 15, 2010. There was no prenuptial agreement and Slash is reportedly willing to pay spousal support.
I love how they say Slash is “willing” to pay alimony as if there was some sort of choice in the matter. That’s like me saying I’m “willing” to die right after getting shot in the pancreas. “No, no, I want to pass away. This is all me. I’m in control here. Even when I just shit myself a minute ago. That was by choice.”
(I was supposed to describe dying not paying spousal support back there, wasn’t I? HIYO!)
Photos: Splash News
Taz | August 30, 2010 at 4:15 pm
His shirt is awesome
BloodCum | August 30, 2010 at 4:19 pm
I agree
Hack Saw | August 30, 2010 at 4:40 pm
I’d hit it.
dudeatdudedotdude | August 30, 2010 at 4:28 pm
i’ll be paying my wife alimony even though legally she blew it. btw take a slash means have a piss in england. never liked this guys stage name. or band.
duke chute | August 30, 2010 at 5:38 pm
fascinating!
me | August 30, 2010 at 9:04 pm
but being ‘slashed’ in the uk means wasted, stoned, hiiiiigh….. say something nice or stfu
dudeatdudedotdude | September 1, 2010 at 11:18 am
whoopee except his name’s slash, not slashed u plonka.
Jake | August 30, 2010 at 4:31 pm
Listen up everyone:
If God blesses you and allows you to become a rock star, DO NOT EVER GET MARRIED.
Get it? ROCK STAR = UNLIMITED HOT WET YOUNG TIGHT PUSSY
Why do anything to interfere with this irrefutable equation?
Richard McBeef, MD-MPH | August 30, 2010 at 4:31 pm
GNR 89-93 baddest ass ever?
discuss.
dudeatdudedotdude | August 30, 2010 at 4:33 pm
in their context. they never did anything for me
horn dog | August 30, 2010 at 4:39 pm
2 good songs, and a lot of overrated rubbish.
dudeatdudedotdude | August 30, 2010 at 4:59 pm
they should have been brought up on capital charges for murdering dylan’s knockin on heaven’s door. sweet child was nails on a chalkboard. but i did lol once watching that sideways dancin diva axle rose trying to outsing mick jagger one nite on stage. he was in way over his head and came off pathetic.
Kelley | August 30, 2010 at 6:52 pm
Good comment, love it. And true. Axel Rose was always a dick.
Obtuse | August 30, 2010 at 8:11 pm
Agreed
MrsEllis | August 30, 2010 at 11:49 pm
Oh my god thanks. I love rock, but could never get into GNR. I thought there was something wrong with me.
Zuma Beach | August 30, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Why does he always wear that silly flower pot on his head? Is he bald and its holding down his Halloween fright wig or what? He looks like he has a face lift, too, just like that other guy in his band, the singer, what’s his name.
J | August 30, 2010 at 5:36 pm
the top hat is his shtick.
havoc | August 30, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Why not? He just wants to go back to threesome with random chicks and their moms……
.
J | August 30, 2010 at 5:36 pm
that was def lepard.
Anon | August 30, 2010 at 5:02 pm
Spousal support for around a year.
If thats not long enough for her to sort her life out and get a job then tough. When you get divorced you’re trying to get them out of your life not keep them around because you can’t look after yourself like a grown up should.
Debbie | August 30, 2010 at 5:23 pm
He has very nice teeth.
I really can’t tell if he is good looking or not since all I ever see are pictures of this guys teeth.
I think he’s related to the Cheshire Cat or Dr. Seuss’ – Cat in the Hat..
Willie Dixon | August 30, 2010 at 5:46 pm
The first two picts of Fergie were pretty hot until pict 3 where her johnson is full frontal. I guess tucking technology has made some leaps.
itsmejim | August 30, 2010 at 9:08 pm
ok im confused what does slash getting divorced have to with fergie and a penis dude sometimes your rants make no sense to anyone but you lol
Hello | September 1, 2010 at 7:29 pm
Fergie is in the pictures with him if you scroll through the album, I was confused too.
captain america | August 31, 2010 at 12:16 am
pssssssst: SPERM IS HIS “TASTE” FROM NOW ON………..
KANYEISGAY | August 31, 2010 at 9:10 am
Wonder if Obama can still grow hair like that. Somebody photoshop that.
LD | August 31, 2010 at 2:40 pm
Ya, GNR sucked. Lets go listen to Drake,Bieber,Miley,(Insert auto-tune musician here or every disney creation)
Anonymous | September 1, 2010 at 6:00 pm
GOOD! I was involved in a transaction with Slash and Perla, and she is the world’s BIGGEST BITCH. He’s actually a really nice guy.