“Wow, that’s a shock. It’s like being told Santa Clause isn’t real — unbelievable.”
Cowell then softened and encouraged Aiken with “Good for him. If he said it, it’s the right thing for him. Good for him.” As for how Aiken’s fans will react, Cowell opined, “I don’t think anyone cares. Let’s face it. It’s 2008. You know, who cares?”
Wait a minute. Santa Claus isn’t real? There goes Christmas. Fuck you, Simon Cowell! And by the way, people do still care if you’re gay. They’re called Republicans, you fat Grinch. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to silently pray Paula Abdul stabs you with a whiskey bottle.