Simon Cowell’s Banging Carmen Electra

December 20th, 2012 // 30 Comments
Man-Boob Jackpot
Simon Cowell
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The last time we checked in on Simon Cowell‘s love life, he was being robbed by a one-night stand after a series of failed relationships where women wouldn’t stay with his money while he perpetually cheated on them. (Dames, amirite?) So after that the only logical step is to just start hiring prostitutes. Or Carmen Electra. Whatever you want to call it. Via HuffPost Entertainment:

Cowell called in to 102.7 KIIS FM’s “On Air with Ryan Seacrest” on Wednesday and revealed that he and the “Baywatch” babe, who was previously married to Dave Navarro and Dennis Rodman, are seeing each other.
When Seacrest asked Cowell whether or not he is dating Electra, the former “American Idol” judge admitted, “She’s not my girlfriend. We’re people who date. She’s adorable, isn’t she?”

Granted, Simon Cowell is nowhere near the level of fame he was during his Idol heyday, he is so sloppy, crazy rich that there’s not a single man, woman or child he couldn’t bang if he wanted to. So the fact that he’d pick Carmen Electra of all people makes absolutely zero sense. That’s like walking into an awesome restaurant that will make anything you could ever want to eat and going, “Do you have just an old, half-eaten sandwich laying in the back? Preferably one that still tastes like Dennis Rodman. Ooh, and with a pinch of Dave Navarro.”

Photos: Getty

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  1. FattyFatty2X4

    I wonder if they “motorboat” each other

  2. Carmen Electra Cleavage Mike Ruiz Birthday Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, wait, wait… Yep, I have ONE MORE FART! Huunnnggghhhppmmffff

  3. I think it’s sort of a syndrome of people who toil in obscurity during their youth and then become rich and famous in the middle of their lives: “Remember 20 years ago when I wanted to bang Carmen Electra? Well, now I can!” It’s not really a question of being able to do better, it’s more about fulfilling the wishes of that kid with his face pressed against the window of hot chicks you couldn’t have back then.

    • Mohawk Disco

      True. It’s like buying the car you couldn’t afford when young. But considering her choices in men she must have issues too.

  4. You hit the nail on the head with that one Tom.

    And I’m willing to bet she’s a phenomenal lay as well. Like the type that moans and groans while she’s giving a blowjob. That’s marriage material right there.

  5. titties

    BS, he’s banging dudes

  6. Schmidtler

    Banging a broad that Dennis Rodman stuck his dick in is like eating soup that Typhoid Mary puked in.

  7. mrsmass

    huh, and here i thought she was still engaged.

  8. The Royal Penis

    After Dennis Rodman I’ll bet putting your penis in her is like having sex with Pillsbury dough.

    How could you not feel just a little bit inadequate after knowing she’s had sex with donkey kong?

  9. The Most Interesting

    I dunno what the issue is — I’d bang her in a heartbeat.

    Get it before its expiration date. Otherwise the wheelchair will get in the way.

  10. Rodman has Herpes complex 7, which can eat through aluminum foil and latex gloves in minutes, which means that Cowel probably has the drip and sores that mimic Mt Mc Kinley on his privates

    • I was going to say I’d hit it until you dropped that unproven yet highly likely bomb on me. Rodman (and Navarro for that matter) probably have poisoned that well beyond repair and considering neither of them stuck around, I take it there may not be much there besides the sex.

  11. Me and Simon seem to have the same taste in women. I know I would nail Carmen’s ass all day every day. No questions asked.

  12. Carmen Electra Cleavage Mike Ruiz Birthday Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey if I had Simon’s money i’d buy her too. I wouldn’t even use a condom and still be happy with my purchase when my dick falls off.

  13. Carmen Electra Cleavage Mike Ruiz Birthday Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “I need a volunteer from the audience for a motorboat!”

  14. Someone Else

    If you had everything you wanted in life wouldn’t you think to yourself “I wonder if she is any good?” Carmen Electra is Beluga caviar. A lot of people have had it and some might think it’s good, but it’s not something the common man will know. It’s something to try.

  15. Carmen Electra Cleavage Mike Ruiz Birthday Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Yikes! She better not get those nails too close to her boobs!

  16. Carmen Electra Cleavage Mike Ruiz Birthday Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “Heeeey!!! Why are you all wearing earplugs?!”

  17. Carmen Electra Cleavage Mike Ruiz Birthday Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    In all fairness, all partygoers agreed the performance was easier on the ears than LeAnn Rimes

  18. Carmen Electra Cleavage Mike Ruiz Birthday Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ouch! My hernia’s coming in again!”

  19. Carmen Electra Cleavage Mike Ruiz Birthday Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Obvious tranny behind her is obvious

  20. anonym

    Carmen bangs anyone with money.

  21. eh

    But can’t you just imagine the boob on boob action?

  22. Carmen Electra Cleavage Mike Ruiz Birthday Gala
    Shelby
    Commented on this photo:

    She just looks dirty. Like she needs a bath. Lol

  23. Carmen Electra Cleavage Mike Ruiz Birthday Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry, I don’t get the appeal. Fake bolt-ons, horrible tan, a trainwreck face, and way too much makeup.

    Someone please explain.

    • I don’t think you’ll like my explanation: it’s the fake bolt-ons, tan,… LOL, in all seriousness though, she has incredible eyes and she exudes so much sexuality. The fact that her funbags have got to be some of the best fake ones out there sure helps.

  24. tlmck

    She’s like Paula Abdul with bolt-ons.

  25. Carmen Electra Cleavage Mike Ruiz Birthday Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I the only one that forgot Carmen Electra ever existed

  26. Edvard Munch

    Its nice to marry a trophy skank after you had success. In reality I like Electra, shes still hot even after marrying the Worm more than 10 years ago. I thought that would destroy her essential organs. rodman has his own special STD.

  27. Carmen Electra Cleavage Mike Ruiz Birthday Gala
    rubbydubby
    Commented on this photo:

    She l;ooks old and the bolt ons are very obvious.

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