Courtney Stodden, Take Notes

October 25th, 2011 // 83 Comments

While Courtney Stodden found herself getting kicked out of a pumpkin patch in Valencia over the weekend, here’s Shauna Sand at Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch in LA where she’s been flashing her beav in front of her kids since the moment they were conceived over by the gourds. And not only is she never kicked out, but people flock each year to see her so they know when winter’s coming. “Welp, that’s half a labia, Jim. Frost’ll be comin’ soon, I reckon. Frost’ll be comin’ soon.”

NOTE: This is Shauna’s new boyfriend, so to answer all your e-mails from over the years: Yes, Criss Angel has a younger, less accessorized, blonde brother. ALAKAZAM!

Photos: Fame


  1. While this decision is akin to trying to decide which eyeball I could do without, I think I would rather look at Courtney Stodden than Shauna Sand. No…wait…the left eye.

  2. Richard McBeef

    homeboy looks like like a gay brad pitt with gay sprinkles on top.

  3. mrsmass

    good to know she’s wearing the clear stripper heels to the pumpkin patch again this year.

  4. Frank Burns

    What the hell is that?

  5. kerrcarto

    1000 years from now whoever occupies this planet are going to look back on these days wondering how the human race went extinct, come across these pictures and have all their questions answered.

  6. chris breezy boxing academy

    Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch is clearly the skankiest pumpkin patch in all of america

  7. Dan

    Does anyone else see this and wish they had somehow thought of buying a piece of land to make a pumpkin patch near LA so all the stars would go there.

    I bet you can charge $20 a pumpkin.

    We really missed the boat on this one.

    • Damn! I could have fulfilled my dream of having a place where all famewhores could be in one convenient place for the bomb the Feds need to drop on Hollywood.

    • TomFrank

      I’m told large pumpkins go for $40 there, so you’re letting ‘em off cheap. And then there’s all the kiddie activities—face painting, a petting zoo, a hay maze—and the admission fee…someone on Yelp says, “you’ll spend around $50 per child” (including the cost of the pumpkins).

  8. dontkillthemessenger

    Criss Angel’s younger brother? I would’ve guessed Perez Hilton’s younger brother.

    Half the fat… All the gay.

  9. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s a boy and her friend, but not her boyfriend cause that dude is gay as hell.

  10. Snack pack

    What’s with the lip injections, ladies? I get the appeal of boob jobs, face lifts, nose jobs, tummy tucks. But those lips are ridiculous and ugly. Yet so many “well to do women” in LA get them blown up like balloons. Why? It’s hideous!

    • Cock Dr

      Why? Because women are filled with self hatred. We hate our own looks and some of us will destroy ourselves to make that pain stop.
      The rich will always find complicit MDs to aid us in this insane quest for physical “perfection”.

      • Dan

        Cock Dr. is right… but still I cannot see how anyone thinks it makes them look better.

      • kimmykimkim

        So Cock Dr is a woman? I’m so confused! And lip injections are fucking hideous. I know a girl (who I rarely ever have to see or associate with, thank god) who started getting Restaline or whatever injections at 25! That’s the stuff for the lips I think, I don’t know, but she had her lips done and it borders on ridiculous. Luckily she’s young enough that it kind of could pass as natural but why?? At 25?? I would NEVER EVER EVER let anyone fuck with my face. It’s practically all I’ve got. I told my girlfriend that if I’m ever disfigured in an accident, she should have me put down.

      • TomFrank

        Cock Dr is a woman. MJB is a woman. Clarence Beeks is a woman. a pornstar is a woman. I think that’s pretty much it, though, among the androgynously named (or androphonically, in Beeks’s case) regular chatters. If not, now’s the time to speak up, ladies!

      • MJB

        If there’s one thing I’ve learned, from having so many guy friends, it is not to stress so much on looks. A guy could be hideous, fat and balding and he’ll still think he’s the bomb. A woman could look like a supermodel and she’ll only see her flaws.
        I’m glad I’ve never succumb to this plastic surgery insanity. I’ll only consider it when I’m old.
        @kimmykimkim: You have more going on than just your face. Don’t ever say that. :)

      • Snack pack

        That was very well-stated, CD. And, all women? Really? That’s a reminder for me to tell my daughter and wife they look great!

      • kimmykimkim

        Aw, thanks, MJB. Well I was kidding about being put down although I really did tell her that, just for fun, you know. Yeah, I’ve got some talent and I can like read and shit so I think I’ll be alright ;o) Haha! But I really can’t imagine ever getting anything cosmetic like that. I won’t even get vision correction surgery and I can’t see SHIT without my contacts! I think us chicks should just let ourselves age naturally.

    • I think Ice-T said it best way back when, if I recall the lyrics correctly:
      “Some o’ y’all bitches are quackers too”

    • Jack Ketch

      Jack Ketch is a woman too :)

      • kimmykimkim

        Jack, nuh-uh! Wait, does the smiley mean you’re kidding? I can’t see a woman collecting Playboys. Wait, yeah, I guess I could.

    • Jack Ketch

      No kidding … yeah, it’s unusual for women to do that but not unheard of … waiting for Hef to “go to his great reward” for the value of the collection to shoot up. In the past few years, I’ve been turned off by all the bleach and plastic, despite being heterosexual. The centrefold is supposed to be “the girl next door.” The girl next door does not have breast implants. You should SEE the letters that pour in from guys when the centrefold features a brunette with real tits, no surgery and no desire to be an actress/singer (and all that happy horseshit). Unfortunately they rarely make Playmate of the Year.

      • MJB

        I’m curious, Jack Ketch, as to how you initially came upon collecting all those old issues. Did you inherit most of it? Was there an estate sale you came upon?
        Yep, when Hef dies, you’re in for a good amount of money for that collection!

        Yes, It’s sad what gets promoted as being desirable in those circles.

  11. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor brainless boy toy.
    I’ll bet she makes him sit up and bark like a dog.
    And if she doesn’t I’d be glad to show her how.

  12. DogBoy

    Does Mr. Bones post a list of D-Listers who have made their appointment with famewhoredom each day? It must be hell actually looking for a pumpkin amidst the fake tits, spray tans, hooker heels and ravenous paps.

  13. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Those fucking shoes…….just the thing for a muddy pumpkin patch.

  14. Truk

    “No Son, we’ll have to buy a different one. Somebody already carved that pumpkin”

  15. aaw

    Why is this slut famous?

  16. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Commented on this photo:

    Gay face! I’m calling it!

  17. anonym

    god she’s freaky ugly.

    and so many surgery scars too

  18. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Shauna’s left hand has had plenty of practice.

  19. Mike

    Hard to believe she’s only 16 and in the first innocent blush of youth.

  20. Oh so close…if only Courtney and Shauna had ended up at the Pumpin Patch of the Skanks at the same time. They could have fought to the death over the choicest pumkins…or for whatever reason. Come to think of it, they could do that anywhere, anytime…lets get them in a 7-11 parking lot ASAP.

  21. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Commented on this photo:

    could she be more trashy. What is wrong with look sexy without the sleazy?

  22. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Commented on this photo:

    oops looking

  23. Excuse me ma’am with the rainbow iphone, do you even know who this is, or do you just always take photos of random skanks?

  24. Deacon Jones

    10 bucks says that dude is going to molest her daughter at some point.

  25. Shauna Sand is in at least phase 3 of the Gold Digger’s Guide to Famewhoredom; Courtney’s only started the first phase, which is to integrate one’s self against said gold piece – in her case, an ancient dubloon.

  26. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Commented on this photo:

    Asian Dad likes her merrons.

  27. cc

    What the fuck is it with his pumpkin patch?

  28. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Commented on this photo:


  29. boo

    Why would the skankiest of all skanks feel the need to go to such a family oriented place? It just feels really sleazy, like they need to constantly shock people and what is more shocking than exposing small children to porn. (Well, soft core, but still.)

  30. Mballs

    Kill it with fire.

  31. blah

    My name is Janice, I play the guitar.

  32. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Commented on this photo:

    Shes got so much plastic, she makes a Barbie doll look real

  33. JP

    Really? WTF…she looks like she was punched in the mouth. And who the hell dresses like a hooker to a damn pumpkin patch?

  34. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like LeAnn Rimes’ ex has finally moved on..

  35. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoops! Dropped my diaphragm!

  36. little turtle head

    Man I wanna bang her walls so bad!

  37. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Commented on this photo:

    oh dear.

  38. I wasn’t paying attention and thought this was supposed to be Courtney Stodden. First thought was “good for her, she’s finally looking a little younger”.


  39. alphabet

    who’s paying you to keep posting about this plastic Sand bitch?

  40. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Commented on this photo:

    We need more pictures of women in hats in the background saying it all with their eyes and mouth.

  41. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Commented on this photo:

    “Upon closer inspection, yes, yours are bigger.”

  42. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Commented on this photo:

    ” *sigh* Here…give him a dollar so he can ride the Super Slide already.”

  43. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Commented on this photo:

    Suddenly, Shauna was flooded with the memories of being teabagged by Lorenzo Lamas.

  44. gspot hunter

    Unveiling the new Shauna Sand Halloween mask for 2012

  45. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Commented on this photo:

    anyone have the heart to tell the agingwhore/mannequin that her new boy toy is in deed a boy toy and gay as hell?

  46. forrest gump


  47. Shauna Sand Upskirt Panty Flash
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, he’s really twinkish.

  48. dotmatrix


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