Why Doesn’t Selena Gomez Look More Pregnantish?

July 29th, 2011 // 66 Comments

Last month, I spent what some might call an “unhealthy, if not pathological” amount of time trying to prove Justin Bieber put a baby in Selena Gomez. And others might say I obsessively made charts and graphs and graphs of charts before delivering babies in the San Fernando Valley for an entire week under an assumed name. (Dr. Pepe Pantalones Fuerte, for those of you lucky enough to experience my speculum.) So imagine my psychological episode surprise to see Selena performing in Florida last night looking almost exactly like she did six weeks ago. Granted, if Teen Mom has taught us anything, it’s that getting teen pregnant is tits because your body barely even registers it, so I’m just going to assume it’s that while suggesting this photo is her getting ready to push. Why onstage, you ask? Probably a new fad like planking or not learning about condoms because it makes Jesus emoticon frowny face. I can’t keep up with them all.

Photo: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Motorboat Captain

    Falcon punch?

  2. This pregnancy scare will henceforth be known as the immaculate misconception.

  3. Since we spent all that time making unfounded and speculative accusations of Selena being pregnant, and now enough time has passed to prove that she’s not…we should probably admit that we were wrong.

    OR we could start making unfounded an speculative accusations about her having an abortion!

    • Photoshop Police

      … or an early miscarriage. It happens.

      Or maybe the beeb-zygote is still too small to show. Give it a few more weeks.

  4. ShittinBritts

    Damn..beat me too it.

    I had “The Immaculate Contraception”

    • Artofwar

      …. I’d have to say watching two dogs bone conjures-up more sexuality than this mixed Mex-Italia bitch could ever manage to conjure. Am I the sole person on earth that would not think twice about this teenage stank, even if I clearly remember telling the bitch to have put extra taco sauce on my burrito???….Artofwar

      • Truthteller

        Maybe, but you’re a disgusting racist bastard and that’s enough for no one to ever need to remember YOU.

      • Thats The Truth Truth

        Ill bet she tastes oh so good, and for homos like artofwar, I know youd like my comment to mean after the beebs busts one inside her, but I mean prior…sorry.

        As for “truthteller”. STFU you white guilt riddled weenie…and please post a list of ALL the (useless, self loathing) things you do on a daily basis to make up for your anglo saxon heritages mere 400 yrs of slavery.

        Hopefully that list isnt too long, as 400 yrs is NOTHING compared to the history of civilization, slavery and EVERY race thats done it for WAY longer.

  5. Selena Gomez Pregnant Cleavage Corset
    meh
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the exact face Justin Bieber made when he saw her hoo ha and realized he had to touch it.

  6. Selena Gomez Pregnant Cleavage Corset
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Doesn’t appear to be with child.
    In fact, judging from her expression, she may be having a really rough period.

  7. Boo

    When you weigh 85 lbs I bet you can be pregnant for six months before nary a baby bump show. I mean, how the hell was Natalie Portman pregnant and then she had a baby six weeks later? It’s cause when you weigh -130 lbs 30 lbs of baby just isn’t readily apparent. Science. And the crazy celebrity plastic surgery hub stop teams that slap a new belly, six laser treatments and a new sit of tits instantly on every famous woman that gives birth probably helps too. It’s standard postpartum care.

    • What the hell are you talking about? If you weigh 85 pounds the baby bump will show almost immediately. If you weigh 200 pounds people will keep thinking it is fat. I don’t think I want to be in your science class.

    • Cakeflourz

      +1 @ “It had to be said”

      Boo, your comment makes no sense. The smaller the woman, the more apparent the pregnancy.

      Move along folks, nothing to see here.

    • i can totally prove it that when you’re fat, you barely show. check out my facebook page if you dont believe me. and the others like ” it had to be said” is right on. natalie portman shown immediately and thats why she openly discussed being pregnant. look at peeps like kate moss too. she shown immediately. same with kate hudson. posh too shown then again certain things she wore nicely hid the bump. if selena was even pregnant, we’d know about it. and she’s not like teen mom retards. she wont get pregnant until maybe when justin bieber turns 18.

      also science didnt discuss pregnancies. maybe about animals but not about humans. thats sex education class that talked about women’s bodies.

      also what about boobs? its not standard postpartum. i didnt get my boobs done and neither did a lot of celebs. some celebs got there boobs done beforehand like christina aguilera and kourtney kardashian just to name a small few. when you’re pregnant, depending on weight and all, your boobs becomes bigger. if you’re big chested and pregnant, they’ll barely grow. look it up in pregnancy books/ online websites.

      celebs gets there boobs done for various reasons. back in the day, the celebs were told to get there boobs done so they can get more work. nowadays a lot of celebs are opting to get them reduced because of the pains that comes with having big boobs. trust me, it causes all sorts of non-fun. we may be nice to look at but its painful as heck.

      and by the way, i weight almost 200 LBS and i am showing. you typed that if you weigh 180 then you cant tell. i weighed 180 when i first got pregnant. i am on my 3rd trimester and my belly just expanded some more where its evident that i am pregnant. so you’re completely wrong.

  8. meh

    Because beards don’t get pregnant silly.

  9. Jules

    There are ways to get un-pregnant, just saying ;)

  10. meh

    The real question is why isn’t Bieber pregnant with Chris Browns baby? Now that the real mystery.

  11. Maeby

    “Dr. Pepe Pantalones Fuerte” Gold.

  12. cc

    Requiem for a Hymen – the first hit off her new album

  13. papastryfe

    She will take the angelina jersey shore angle and blame the misconception on the media

  14. LJ

    I guess no one here has ever had a girlfriend who was late for her period after you just spent the last couple of weeks having unprotected sex.

    I can only imagine the level of anxiety that Selena Gomez would have gone through if she was late.

    She and the Bieber probably had unprotected sex once while they were on vacation and she drove herself into anxiety attacks over the next few weeks waiting for her period.

  15. cl

    Obvious abortion is obvious

  16. Turd Ferguson

    cute girl.

  17. Selena Gomez Pregnant Cleavage Corset
    jsblink69
    Commented on this photo:

    Who the hell goes to a little girl concert?
    Who dressed her up like a big girl?, and Why?

    never mind.

  18. karlito

    where the hell did this girl come from? Disney… so 10 people knew of her before she started seeing Beiber. amazing how an obscure 18 yr old Disney girl dates a famous 17 yr old boy and within months she promoting her videos, her songs, her perfume and her new movie. what good looking 18 yr old girl would get involved with an effeminate 17 yr old boy in any other situation in life…none. she promoting herself by using Beiber and a spring board for more fame. maybe he is getting laid but isn’t that against the law in the States. she’s an adult and he’s still considered a child under law. they can do it in Canada.

    • TomFrank

      Right. No one watches The Disney Channel.

      “In the May 2010 Nielsen ratings, Disney Channel ranked No.1 for the 63rd consecutive month in the Kids 6–11 demographic and for the 62nd straight month among Tweens 9–14. Disney Channel is ranked as the second most watched cable channel among total viewers during primetime, behind USA Network in first place with an average of 2.8 million people.”

      • karlito

        the Disney channel is for the low IQ kids and gay boys. the shows are stupid, the acting is beyond bad and the characters are sterotypes. just because a show has lots of viewers does not make it good. a lot of you thought that “Full House” was a great show….bad actors, worse scripts and butt ugly kids.

  19. john

    I just can’t find this girl attractive. Maybe it’s her weird face, and how she thinks her tv character is so fucking funny.

  20. The Critical Crassness

    And maybe just maybe , Fish you picked the one Disney starlet to actually have enough sense to use protection when having sex with a megalomaniac Canadian Messiah like Bieber.

    • so true ” the critical crassness”.

      my opinion is this:
      i doubt they had sex. i doubt she ever had a pregnancy scare.

      secondly, she isnt using the biebs for fame. she was famous way before he came into her life. she had a youtube page where she promoted all sorts of stuff and that was way before biebs. she also did a lot of promotional stuff. just cuz things are more happening for her doesnt mean its cuz of him. and what if it is. ya dont think he’s using her too in some way shape or form. if they’re both okay with using each other then why is that so bad?

      also karlito- in some states ( with parental consent) that they can do the nasty.
      come on, look at ‘teen mom’, and all the teens who are/were pregnant, do you think they all got consent? nope.

  21. Selena Gomez Pregnant Cleavage Corset
    awhpewp.
    Commented on this photo:

    the robot.

  22. Just_As_it_IS

    Why doesn’t she look more pregnantish? Maybe because she is not pregnant? Just sayin’

  23. medium rare

    Pregnant? Hardly. Bieber’s pathetic little pecker would hardly penetrate Selena’s big, dark protruding, Mexican labia. Hey, it’s only logical.

  24. Sir Digby Chicken Caeser

    I think it was something that rhymes with shmashmortion….

  25. juaquin ingles

    Shouldn’t this chick have at least 3 kids already? iAndele, mija!

  26. Selena Gomez Pregnant Cleavage Corset
    beets
    Commented on this photo:

    “I think the Spanx and corset that’s masking the baby bump is hurting my insurance policy, I-I mean Baby Bieber.”

  27. Venom

    Hilarious all the retarded speculation about her with not one shred of evidence.
    She felt ill, she went to the fucking hospital, big deal, people do so every day.

  28. Selena Gomez Pregnant Cleavage Corset
    Misana
    Commented on this photo:

    she doesn’t look pregnant here..or in the first pic

  29. the one

    please please please cut the crap.
    THIS KID JUST LEFT KINDERGARTEN!!

  30. Nate

    Trust me 1st 2ed and 3rd is all that little bitch is going to get from Selena Lesbomez.

  31. Michael

    I dunno if I should have a problem with her because she appears on these gossip pages alot or just be happy that she’s a better actress and role model than Miley Cyrus (i.e. she doesn’t overact like crazy nor have convenient wardrobe malfunctions).

  32. I AM SO sick of seeing this girl, she has no talent, only reason her names becoming bigger is because of her teeny bopper boyfriend….she looks like shes 10.

  33. Sally

    some friends of mine run http://www.frontpagejunky.com and they were all over this awhile ago as well. Not sure if she’s pregnant or not, but even if she was, Bieber’s parents have to be smart enough to end that sucker asap, because they don’t want the gravy train to stop running

  34. Selena Gomez Pregnant Cleavage Corset
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    NO! the baby’s trying to say something in the microphone! ^.^

  35. Selena Gomez Pregnant Cleavage Corset
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    What is she doing?
    Someone please tell me.

  36. Selena Gomez Pregnant Cleavage Corset
    lil messi
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks so skinny she can’t possibly be pregnant

  37. Selena Gomez Pregnant Cleavage Corset
    HahaISeeYouO.O
    Commented on this photo:

    same face she put when she first saw justin’s pipi.

  38. Selena Gomez Pregnant Cleavage Corset
    HahaISeeYouO.O
    Commented on this photo:

    i think her water just broke.

  39. Selena Gomez Pregnant Cleavage Corset
    Rebekah Galer
    Commented on this photo:

    If i was lucky another to have Justin Bieber as a boyfriend… even as a little show i would only let him do that to me.. Not other guys.. I love Justin Bieber and would do anything to meet him.. And i mean that.. Yes i’m 12 but i am still a huge thinker and i am in set 1 for EVERYTHING. learn the world loyalty Selena…

  40. Selena Gomez Pregnant Cleavage Corset
    Catch22
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s not pregnant….
    Rumors!

  41. Selena Gomez Pregnant Cleavage Corset
    MissBieberNL
    Commented on this photo:

    Cute boys ;)

  42. Selena Gomez Pregnant Cleavage Corset
    ew that bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    1 word,ugly

  43. miss salee

    I think they ran away from kindergarten..
    thats crazy..

  44. Selena Gomez Pregnant Cleavage Corset
    Larry65
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa Baby..If I was Only 40years Younger..hehehe

  45. Selena Gomez Pregnant Cleavage Corset
    tinjus
    Commented on this photo:

    penetration face

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