Why Doesn’t Selena Gomez Look More Pregnantish?
Last month, I spent what some might call an “unhealthy, if not pathological” amount of time trying to prove Justin Bieber put a baby in Selena Gomez. And others might say I obsessively made charts and graphs and graphs of charts before delivering babies in the San Fernando Valley for an entire week under an assumed name. (Dr. Pepe Pantalones Fuerte, for those of you lucky enough to experience my speculum.) So imagine my
psychological episode surprise to see Selena performing in Florida last night looking almost exactly like she did six weeks ago. Granted, if Teen Mom has taught us anything, it’s that getting teen pregnant is tits because your body barely even registers it, so I’m just going to assume it’s that while suggesting this photo is her getting ready to push. Why onstage, you ask? Probably a new fad like planking or not learning about condoms because it makes Jesus emoticon frowny face. I can’t keep up with them all.