Selena Gomez Has A New Man Already

January 22nd, 2014 // 12 Comments
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After a chronic meth addiction coupled with lupus made Selena Gomez briefly think getting back together with Justin Bieber was a good idea (That’s what I’m going with. Suck it.), she apparently got her shit together after watching the boy who just stuck his penis in her egg a house for the love of sizzurp and was all over a new man at Sundance, according to E! News. A man who The Superficial can safely report is William H. Macy. You might say the whole thing is… shameless. Ahahaha! *stuffs check from Showtime in empty hole where soul once was* We have fun.

Photos: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. Selena Gomez Billy Crudup William H Macy Rudderless Portrait Session Sundance Film Festival
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    As Billy whispered a tale of toilet papering a house as a child, Selena quickly tried to cover the wetness seeping through her dress.

  2. Selena Gomez Billy Crudup William H Macy Rudderless Portrait Session Sundance Film Festival
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    As Billy whispered a tale of toilet papering a house as a child, Selena quickly tried to cover the wetness seeping through her dress.

  3. James

    The title should be ” Selena went from boy to a man” ..
    .
    because new man indicates that Bieber was the “old” man.
    .
    and sir… Bieber is no man.

  4. Selena Gomez Billy Crudup William H Macy Rudderless Portrait Session Sundance Film Festival
    Juch
    Commented on this photo:

    “Selena, sweety, you’ve accidentally handed me Bieber’s camera. Now tell me, is that his penis or a newborn baby’s thumb?”

  5. Selena Gomez Billy Crudup William H Macy Rudderless Portrait Session Sundance Film Festival
    Codot
    Commented on this photo:

    No offence to Macy, but I think that’s the best he’s ever looked.

  6. diversity hire

    Biebs was just borrowing the hole.

  7. cc

    I think she might possibly be a dolt.

  8. This chick is dumb as a box of rocks, she has lost all appeal for quite some time now.

  9. Selena Gomez Billy Crudup William H Macy Rudderless Portrait Session Sundance Film Festival
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Anything is a step up from a closeted juvenile delinquent with bad tattoos.

  10. Selena Gomez Billy Crudup William H Macy Rudderless Portrait Session Sundance Film Festival
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    At least she’s stopped trying to look like a toddler. I guess having that drug habit aged her some.

  11. Selena Gomez Billy Crudup William H Macy Rudderless Portrait Session Sundance Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m glad she’s starting to look her age. She has a history of dating intolerable assholes. I think I got a shot.

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