So Sean Penn’s Head’s Getting Cut Off
Sean Penn has sex with Madonna in her current form, so for a relaxing, less life-threatening change of pace, he trekked deep into a Mexican jungle to secretly meet with El Chapo on top of a mountain for an interview with Rolling Stone where a drug lord was given final edit because journalism LOL. And now for the fun part. The interview was published Saturday morning to the widespread amusement of the Internet, and then later that day this happened:
BREAKING: Mexican official says drug lord Guzman's interview with actor Sean Penn led Mexican forces to his whereabouts.
— The Associated Press (@AP) January 10, 2016
D’oh! Then again, this would explain all the recent Madonna fucking. A mere cartel against the power of her dark arts? BE GONE WITH YOUR INSOLENCE. In the meantime, below you’ll find a link to Sean Penn’s 10,000 word interview with El Chapo that I didn’t read because it’s 10,000 words written by Sean Penn. Case in point:
I take no pride in keeping secrets that may be perceived as protecting criminals, nor do I have any gloating arrogance at posing for selfies with unknowing security men. But I’m in my rhythm. Everything I say to everyone must be true. As true as it is compartmentalized.
Haha, nope. Not doing that. Fuck you.