Scarlett Johansson Selling Soda Machines Is Destroying The Middle East (Or Something)

January 30th, 2014 // 29 Comments
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The last time Scarlett Johansson got involved with politics, she might as well have fucked Sean Penn in the middle of the White House Correspondents Dinner, and before that, she was running around telling people Obama was her e-mail boyfriend. So let’s just say her track record isn’t exactly the greatest which is why it really shouldn’t be a surprised that she was basically asked to quit being an Oxfam ambassador after agreeing to shill for SodaStream who maintains a factory in the highly-contested West Bank of Israel. Via Mediaite:

SodaStream has a large factory presence in the West Bank, while Oxfam boycotts trade from Israeli settlements. The Palestinian Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions movement quickly called on Oxfam to drop Johansson over the sponsorship, which Oxfam did on Thursday.
“Scarlett Johansson has respectfully decided to end her ambassador role with Oxfam after eight years,” read Oxfam’s statement. “She and Oxfam have a fundamental difference of opinion in regards to the boycott, divestment and sanctions movement. She is very proud of her accomplishments and fundraising efforts during her tenure with Oxfam.”

And by “fundamental difference of opinion,” they mean Scarlett Johansson realized soda water pays way better than pretending to know what the fuck is even happening in the world. She’s sure Israel and Packistine will get over whatever it is they’re fighting about anyway. How bad can it be?

Remember when Scarlett Johansson said she’s tired of being a sex bomb and would prefer to be anonymous? Remember that? She’s blowing a straw in a soda commercial during the goddamn Super Bowl. Let that marinate.



  1. JC

    Fake soda dripping off tits or no sale. You hear me, ScarJo? NO SALE!

  2. The company employs both Palestinians and Israelis and fosters cooperation and peace. OxFam is a leftist org so the dropped her.
    Good for her for standing up for good principles.

    • JC

      Getting paid millions of dollars to do sexy straw blowjobs to sell sugar water to America’s obese and diabetic = good principles?

    • Meh

      Indeed, according to the company, the plant could be shut down in favor of a larger plant within Israel’s internationally recognized borders, but they would rather keep the plant open, and employing 1,300 Palestinians. What’s Oxfam’s issue with that?

      • The issue is that Oxfam works with, and receives funding from folks who endorse the two-state solution to the Israel-Palestine problem. A company like Fizzy Sugar Water, Inc. operating in the political ether-world of settlements and disputed border claims while employing — GASP! — both Israeli and Palestinian folks doesn’t fit with the two-state model.

        I just want more ScarJo noods. I don’t really care which side of whichever border Terry Richardson shoots them.

    • Rita Book

      They employ Palestinians, therefore they should be able to operate on stolen land? Hmm let’s see, slavery equaled employment for blacks in the deep south at one time, so that should still be legal. If those same Palestinians had the option of working freely where and when they wanted and weren’t already basically slaves to the settlers and Israel, they wouldn’t need an apartheid-promoting company to employ them. So please stop spreading disinformation, you know the facts.

      • Stolen land? Are you an idiot? This land is stolen as well. Israel conquered that land. Regardless of any biblical reference, they are as entitled to that land as any other conquering body.

      • Israel conquered that land? Israel didn’t even exist until it was created.

      • alex

        Rita– How many bullshit ant-israel jabs are you going to take in a 4 sentence comment? Such incredible bullshit.

        1. Stolen land implies someone owned it and was removed. Israel was attacked by 5 arab nations in 1967 in an attempt to wipe them out. Israel fought back all five armies and won a DEFENSIVE war and annexed some land to ensure safe defensible future borders. Starting a war, losing the war, and then complaining that someone “stole” your land is bullshit.

        2. Hiring palestinians to work in a factory is nothing like slavery in america. Period. Nice try to draw similarities but it’s just bullshit. If it were a european company that was hiring palestinians, paying nearly double the going wages and even building a mosque on-site at the factory for the convenience of the workers, it would have been praised as an amazingly wonderful humanitarian move. Because it’s an Israeli company, it’s equal to slavery.

        3. And the over 4 million palestinians are not slaves to the settlers. That is just a baseless, stupid comment.

        4. I’m not sure how you define apartheid but I’d be curious to hear your definition. 20% of Israeli citizens are arabs. They enjoy all of the rights and privileges that the jews and other non-jews enjoy. Period. They can own businesses, they can run for public office (like the several palestinians currently in office in the knesset), they can own property, they can be openly gay if they choose, they can worship anyone they choose, etc. A few years ago, Israel had weekly suicide attacks on everything from shopping malls to public buses in downtown jerusalem. In response, Israel build a wall to keep terrorists from infiltrating. Since that “apartheid wall” went up, suicide attacks have decreased 98%. I call that a succesful security measure, not apartheid.

        So in summary, yes, Soda stream hiring Palestinians is exactly like black slaves in America.

      • Thank you, sir.

      • And, speaking of bullshit: the 1967 was started when Israel attacked 3 Arab countries (Egypt, Syria and Jordan). Do some reading – I’m guessing you’re confusing this with the 1948 war, when we fought off invading Arab armies. The lands that were captured in that war were declared to be bargain chips, to be used in negotiations for a permanent peace settlement – a sentiment that was quickly changed, as the messianic wave that over swept Israel following the 6-days war resulted in settlement of Jews in the occupied territories – first illegally, but, following the rise of the right-wing Likkud to power, as an official policy.

        Also, while we are not quite at a South-Africa-apartheid-level, yet, we’re pretty close. In the last few days you could read here about a new high-end housing project in Jaffa that had its “no-Arabs” policy as a major selling point; or about a rabbi who published instructions forbidding renting apartments to Arabs being the front-runner for chief rabbi of Jerusalem; the Israeli government trying to raise the voting percentage needed to be elected to the parliament – a measure aimed directly at the Arab parties.

        Regarding the fence: nobody would have objected to it, except for the fact it was built to accommodate the (illegal) Jewish settlements, meaning – in many cases – cutting off Arab farmers from their land, in some cases turning Arab towns and villages into shut-off ghettos…

      • alex

        We both know you can twist the rhetoric to your liking Yatz. I mean come on, if you are familiar with the 67 war, as you certainly appear to be, you would know that Israel “attacking three arab countries” is a bullshit claim. It’s easily verified that Egypt Syria and Jordan had lined the Israeli borders with tanks and massed troops in an unprecedented provocative action. Then the Arab leaders got on the radio and for weeks declared that they, as united Arab armies, would destroy Israel. Israel didn’t hit them until they felt it was only a matter of days or hours until they would be attacked and destroyed. I invite the casual reader to visit the “Six Day War crucial quotes” website to see the exact quotes from all of the Arab leaders involved in the war.
        Some sample quotes:

        “Brethren and sons, this is the day of the battle to avenge our martyred brethren who fell in 1948. It is the day to wash away the stigma. We shall, God willing, meet in Tel Aviv and Haifa” – Radio broadcast by Iraqi President Abdel Rahman Aref

        “Those who survive will remain in Palestine. I estimate that none of them will survive.” – Ahmed Shukairy, chairman of PLO in Jordanian Jerusalem, asked in news interview what will happen to the Israelis if there is a war

        They were chest thumping with machismo and pride and they got smacked down. I also recommend 6 Days of War by Michael Oren…it breaks down the war on an almost hour-by-hour basis.

        And as for 1948, I’m no confused. What is your explanation on that? Israel was attacked by a combined invasion by Egypt, Jordan and Syria, together with expeditionary forces from Iraq and by the middle of 1949, the Arabs gave up to regroup for their next attack. Again, Israel was attacked unprovoked.

        In terms of apartheid-lite or any other “we’re not quite at south african levels” is all bullshit. If you are a citizen you can do as you choose… the fact that a racist rabbi urged jews not to rent to arabs is racist at best but it’s not a law. It’s not a national policy. And don’t present “almost laws” as racist apartheid. (Unlike the Imams across the border that call for kidnapping and murder, I think asking people to not rent is quite tame by comparison.)

        And regarding the fence, you’re hilarious. Nobody would have objected to the fence? Really? ANYTHING and everything Israel does gets a huge negative response. Just like with this Israeli soda stream company doing what they can to be good people and instead getting smacked down for it.

        There is enough room for both Israel and Palestine in the region but don’t pretend this is a one-sided conflict with big mean old Israel torturing the Palestinians for fun.

      • Regarding the six-days war: I don’t think Israel was an aggressor. I was old enough at the time to remember the sense of doom we felt, as Egypt expelled the UN observers from the Gaza strip and started moving army reinforcements into the Sinai. But the fact remains that it was Israel that attacked, and not the way you described it. Let’s keep that clear. My problem is not with this action – it was the Israeli de-facto decision not to engage in any serious negotiations to resolve the conflict, and the annexation of the territories and their population; I – like many other Israelis – see this as the greatest danger to our existence as a Jewish and democratic state.
        Your interpretation of the events of 1948 is also – to my mind – lacking. The young Israel was indeed attacked by the Arab armies, but describing this attack as “unprovoked” is very simplistic. It came after a period of fighting with the local Arabs (the Palestinians), a fight that culminated in their defeat and the beginning of a mess exodus (the reasons for which are in dispute to this day). I’m a Zionist – I believe this land is the home of the Jewish people. Also, just as important we were very lucky to come here when we did, at a time when the local inhabitants were still looking for their own national identity – so, no, we didn’t “steal” their land. But the Arabs didn’t see it this way; to them we were foreign colonists. So, describing them as blood-thirsty anti-Jewish fiends is just dumb.
        I believe there is just one solution – and that is going back to the principal of the UN’s original resolution, to have both a Jewish and a Palestinian states in this land. There are a lot of people (on both sides) who are willing to with this – the problem are the fanatics on both sides, who say “it’s all ours!”

        I don’t know how old you are; I remember a time, after 1967 and through the 70′s, when Israel was the most popular country in the world (outside of the Arab lands and the Soviet bloc). We were the golden-haired heroes, the Arabs the blood-thirsty savages. If this has changed in the way you describe, it is because most of the world has come to realize that what we are doing is WRONG. My own epiphany was in 1975; I enlisted into the army, went to save in the infantry because serving and protecting your country was the most important thing you could do – and spent a good deal of my first 6 months in service putting down the first, un-remembered intiphada. When civilians are marching in the streets, demanding freedom, and you as a solider are sent to break their legs, there are no two ways about it: you are in the wrong. It took the world time – and a lot of pictures from Lebanon and the “first” intiphada – to come to this conclusion; I say: about fucking time!

      • alex

        I’m not following you…you said in your first couple sentences:
        1. You don’t think Israel was the aggressor
        2. You agree that Egypt put troops along the border in the Sinai
        3. But you think Israel attacked and unlike how I described it.

        I think a good analogy would be if Mexico started massing troops and tanks on the texas border and got on the radio to tell the world that Mexico would soon destroy texas. After weeks of this, do you think the US might be concerned enough to take action?

        Also, I never called the Palestinians “blood-thirsty anti-Jewish fiends.” Not sure where you got that.

        To summarize the conflict for people that may not be very familiar, I happen to think it’s really quite simple. Israel wants peace and security while the Palestinians want peace and justice. (Justice for six decades of suffering)

        There are too many points to debate but I think the most telling fact is that Israel has repeatedly offered a peace plan that creates a modern peaceful nation of Palestine and Arafat turned it down flat twice, while the current leader Abbas recently has turned down the most recent offer. Do they want a nation or what? Back in 48, Israel took whatever they were offered and were grateful while the current Palestinian leadership seems stuck on the idea that if they continue to hold out and “struggle” they will get a lot more (or maybe all) of the land.

        I’m getting a little weary of having to address each little point–there has been so much deceptive rhetoric out there that even the most minute detail has been brought to question.

        I’m going to skip out on the rest of this discussion but I wish you well and truly hope we will see peace in our time.

      • [shouting at your retreating back:] In your original post you described the 1967 war as Israel being attacked by 5 Arab armies – I was just trying to set the record straight on this. Egypt made threatening moves (and lots of rhetoric), Israel launched a pre-preemptive strike – the argument is over the aftermath.

      • alex

        Got it! Yes, you are correct, I made an error on the number of arab nations involved. (flip flopped them)

        I didn’t mean to get so involved with this topic on the T&A website but when Rita drew comparisons with slavery in America, it seemed so deceptive that I had to chime in. Best of luck to you.

      • Hannah

        @Alex–You are an ignorant asshole who skews “facts” to defend the indefensible. Pretending that the occupation of the West Bank and/or defending the Isreali Settlements are anything other than fucked up, tyrannical, self-serving, oppressive bullshit is just stupid. For the record, I don’t know a single Jewish Isreali citizen [and I know many] who would argue that its Arab citizen are treated equally, no matter what their percentage.

    • You don’t foster “cooperation and peace” by offering people money in exchange for them giving up their most fundamental rights (see Rita Book’s excellent example above). The one inarguable fact is this: international law says that no occupying country may transfer its own population into the occupied territories – and this is what we Israelis have been doing for the last 5 decades, saying our imaginary friend says it’s OK.

    • Give it a few more weeks and I’m sure a stray rocket will hit the factory.

  3. Lord Helmet

    Pretty sure she had no clue where that company had factories. She probably had only two questions: You pay me how much? and You want me to stick my tits out how far?

  4. JimBB

    Now that we have Jennifer Lawrence, someone needs to send ScarJo a memo that it’s time for her to quietly exit stage left.

    “Yes, sweetie, go sit over there in the corner with Rachael Leigh Cook, Lelee Sobieski, Kirsten Dunst, Emma Stone, and about a thousand other once-were-hot-now-not actresses. Hey look, there’s your old friend Thora Birch! You can sit by her!”

  5. Scarlett Johansson SodaStream Global Brand Ambassador Unveiling Ceremony
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Senator Johansson! What is your response to the criticism that that the State of the Union speech was big on ideas, but short on details?”
    . . .
    “Okay . . . how about the notion that presidential use of Executive Orders subverts the democratic process?”
    . . .
    “Sigh . . . alright, how about the idea that its a mistake for any political party or charitable organization to use a dingbat actress as a spokesperson?”
    . . .

  6. Scarlett Johansson SodaStream Global Brand Ambassador Unveiling Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh come on Fish, you must have meant to say Palestine. I’m Palestinian and I read your blog daily don’t be that guy

  7. Galaxy

    Nothing about her is hot. She bores me.

  8. Palestinians working for Israelis. Next thing you know, Israelis working for Palestinians. Then after that, who knows? Peace? It is possible and, instead of boycotting those trying to make it happen, maybe Oxfam should buy some shares itself!

  9. I can’t drink coke or pepsi. Don’t know, there’s just something about the aftertaste of the two that just doesn’t meld with my taste buds. I just drink water; and not the stuff from the plastic bottle – the stuff that flows out of a pipe…… oh wait! That’s a lie! When I was in India I drank ANY liquid stuff from a plastic bottle. If you’ve ever been in India and seen the sanitary conditions, you’d hold out to take care of your thirst with wood grain alcohol before you’d let any water in India make contact with your body!

  10. malaka

    imagine there’s no countries. and no religion too.
    this is certainly a highly complex, extensively documented conflict.

    history has shown that the partition of former colonies into new nations along religious lines has been nothing short of catastrophic.

    it is difficult to be tolerant of those who are so remarkably intolerant.

    i don’t have any perfect solutions.
    my israeli bff (a mizrahim jew of jordanian descent)
    says that everything was fine over there before 1948.
    maybe we would have all been better off if the jewish homeland
    had been founded in brooklyn or south florida.

    maybe the entire region should be renamed jerusalem.
    maybe the entire region should be completely evacuated and repopulated by mexicans.

    not only did the nation of israel not exist before 1948, but neither did palestine. nor did india or pakistan for that matter.
    they were all former british colonies.
    the israel palestine region was part of the ottoman empire not too long before that.

    israel is only about 22,000 square miles and is surrounded by millions of square miles of arab, persian and muslim territory.
    of which, none of these other nations want palestinian refugees.

    nobody really wants to celebrate apartheid and oppression.
    but the whole crisis has become so gridlocked and absurd that no small group of sane people can resolve it.

    the jewish people are one of the most persecuted groups of people in human history.
    but at this point, many people seem to detest arab, persian and muslim culture even more.

    its already been mentioned that non jewish israeli citizens live in peace and prosperity within the borders of israel.
    it is arguably the most stable and most democratic state in the entire middle east. an oasis in a sea of hornets nests.

    half of my friends growing up were muslim or middle eastern.
    i’ve been able to hear multiple perspectives.

    one of the ironies of the settlements is that if these practices continue, israel will become more and more arab.

    but anyway..many people refuse to recognize the nation of israel and refer to it as occupied palestine.
    but you know what palestine really is??
    its jordan.

    land cannot be owned. it can only be inhabited.
    imagine there’s no countries. no need for greed or hunger.
    nothing to kill or die for. and no religion too.

    who the fuck cares what you call it.
    just stop killing each other for fuck’s sake.

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