Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn Were at The Spike Guys Choice Awards

June 6th, 2011 // 27 Comments

“Hope nobody I had sex with is here. D’oh!”

Despite calling it quits last week, the decreasingly hot Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn still showed up to The Spike Guys Choice Awards Saturday night, albeit separately, and even briefly posed together backstage before running in opposite directions. Her in a cloud of shame and disgust that would make Reese Witherspoon‘s chin stand at attention, and him in desperate need of a new vagina to ash into. “Hello, I’m famous actor-humanitarian Sean Penn. A hack hack hack. Quick, your vagina. Hack. I’ll explain later.”

Photo: Getty, Splash News


  1. hm have used my hand for an ashtray once or twice but never a vagina. fascinating tip. and of course i don’t care if her cooch tastes like an ashtray cos i smoke

  2. the captain

    pst: SHE BROUGHT TH “Sean-Dildo” WITH HER, folks.
    ………….so be cool.

  3. Parker

    I still want to plow her fertile rectum with my roto-tiller penis.

    • ZigZagZoey

      Uh….Fertile RECTUM? Fertile with what? SHIT?

      • Parker

        Fertile as in, girls can get pregnant from anal sex. Go ahead and google it if you’re not sure but it’s a fact. You must have skipped sex-ed in high school.

    • TomFrank

      Okay, yeah, THEORETICALLY, if you’re having anal sex and the semen drips out, and then runs over her taint, and then into her vagina, and if the sperm are still strong and swimming after all that, then yes, there’s a slight possibility that perhaps she might get pregnant, if all those things were to happen.

      But your phrase “fertile rectum” suggests to me that you think something else is happening down there. And that maybe you took sex-ed in some Christian school.

    • Mike Walker

      Parker is the world’s foremost authority on buttsecks and doodie babies so sit and pay attention kiddos.

      • Richard McBeef

        We really need pimp’s opinion on this matter as he has tongued more assholes than something that tongues a shit ton of assholes.

  4. Yikes! ScarJo’s shelf life has expired folks.

    I guess that what happens when the penis of death get poked in you.

  5. freebie

    What happened? She used to be so hot.

  6. It had to be said

    Oh no. That is not good. I feel like Scarlett and Megan Fox should rent a house together to be ready for the Formerly Hot Chicks Who Are Now Irrelevant reality show.

  7. Scarlet does not work on Scarlett. Stick with blonde and cleavage.

  8. Richard McBeef

    thank god she got her spanx sponsorship back in order, things got a little lumpy there for a bit.

  9. I guess she just can’t get enough of talking about Chavez or how the USA really, like sucks, you know?


  10. HumpinFrog

    Has her head always been egged shaped or is this a new phenomena? I’ve been so busy looking at her tits, I never quite noticed before. But since she decided no tit for the show, I blame her for my discovery.

  11. Scarlett Johansson Sean Penn Spike Guys Choice Awards
    adolf hitler
    Commented on this photo:

    black guy sayin it all

    thats a nice ass. i would drink her farts; id go through the trouble of putting her in a freezer set to -161.6°C just to drink them, rather than inhale them.

  12. Dan

    Is it me or is she not as pretty knowing that Sean Penn nailed her?

  13. Parker

    I liked Sean Penn in Falcon and the Snowman.

  14. WTF

    Thought that was a picture of an East German power lifter??? Snooki’s legs and Kardashian’s ass squeezing the life outta that poor twat wedged in there.

  15. tlmck

    et this be a lesson to all hot young women. This is what happens when you hang out too long with old meat.

  16. Maiko Weymiller

    She looks like a dude

  17. DoorLocks

    Born a man?

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