Scarlett Johansson’s Pregnant (For Real This Time)

For those of you wondering why the hell Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive would resort to shilling sugar water for a company that operates a factory in a contested hotbed of religious infighting, it turns out Scarlett Johansson is five months pregnant, and this time isn’t the work of angles and weird shirts. Or so Romaine Lettuce would have us believe… I know who you’re working for! E! News reports:

The 29-year-old beauty is expecting her first child with fiancé Romain Dauriac, multiple sources confirm to E! News.
The pregnancy news comes just six months after it was announced that the Oscar-nominated actress is planning to tie the knot with her French journalist beau.

While this is great news for Scarlett Johansson, it’s fucking terrible news for The Avengers 2 which just started filming. Then again, it does present the opportunity for this scene:

What's she doing here? Fury, I told you I'm not working with her.

Sir, I'm picking up heightened levels of hormones. It appears Ms. Romanov 
is pregnant. Engaging Plan B protocol. On your mark, sir.


[Iron Man armor fires rockets at Black Widow, disintegrating her on the spot.]

Guess that solved itself. So, what's this Ultron thingie you were talking about?

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Splash News, WENN