Scarlett Johansson and Kevin Connolly?

The newly-single Scarlett Johansson was invited to Jeremy Renner’s 40th birthday party over the weekend (Wait. 40?) where she reportedly spent most of her time with Kevin Connolly effectively proving there’s been tear in the very fabric of our universe and soon ducks will bark like dogs. Us Magazine reports:

Johansson’s pal for the night? Kevin Connolly, an insider tells”They were together all night and talked,” the source says.
Was it romantic? “They weren’t kissing, just drinking together.”
According to the onlooker, Johansson chatted up Connolly, DiCaprio plus a “bunch of agents. They were standing there listening to her.”

Oh, phew, she was just trying to talk to Leonardo DiCaprio. For a second there I thought someone was having sex with Kevin Connolly. Ha! Could you imagine? Elf penis all flying around. It’d be like babysitting a toddler who keeps taking his pants off except you’re allowed to use mace. Although, now that I put it that way, I can kind of see the appeal. Well played, Kevin Connolly. Well played…

Photos: Getty, Splash News