Sarah Palin’s future son-in-law revealed – Surprise! He doesn’t want kids

September 2nd, 2008 // 147 Comments

Well, it was only a matter of time until they found the guy who knocked up Bristol Palin the 17-year-old daughter of John McCain’s running mate Sarah Palin. And, boy, is this kid amazing. Meet future shotgun groom Levi Johnston (above) who, in a triumph of the human spirit, makes Casey Aldridge and Kevin Federline look they should be on the space program. The New York Post has the details:

On a MySpace page subsequently taken down, Johnston boasts, “I’m a fuckin’ redneck” who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes.
“But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some shit and just fuckin’ chillin’ I guess.”
“Ya fuck with me I’ll kick [your] ass,” he added.
He also claims to be “in a relationship,” but states, “I don’t want kids.”

Wow. Am I the only one who hopes this kid never stops reproducing? Show of hands.

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  1. Ted from LA

    The moral of the story is if you don’t want kids, keep your pee pee in your pants.

  2. Vote Democrat

    Vote Democrat!

  3. Citizen

    He’ll be a classy addition to the White House. Great job picking a running mate, President McCain!

  4. Ted from LA

    He sounds very articulate. I wonder if he’ll speak at the GOP convention. I say fuck ya.

  5. Willy Wonka

    Looks like Palin bumped her head a little too hard on that glass ceiling, and couldn’t recover in time to teach her daughter how to avoid getting knocked up by a grizzly.

  6. A Woman

    When I said I didn’t ever want kids, I was serious. That’s why I’m 33 years old, and still child-free, and I’ve never had an abortion. Birth control (and I don’t mean “pulling out”) works, but you actually have to use it!

  7. M.O.

    They should DEFINITELY get him on the campaign trail, bring in the moron vote. It should be a landslide.

  8. Deacon Jones

    I thought I was reading a transcript of Bush’s memoirs….

  9. God bless the Republicans.

    It’s funny to see when their hypocrisy blows up in their face.

  10. veggi

    Jesus Pole-Dancing Christ, what will people say – especially the right wing religious fanatics – when it’s revealed that this guy knocked up BOTH Sarah and Bristol (nice fucking name) Palin?

  11. havoc

    I don’t see what the fuck this has to do with anything. Its a family issue.

    These useless sack of shit politician/ media slime/ retards/ adulters/ pedophiles/ drug addict/ alcoholic/ liars/ convicted criminals/ closet homo’s are actually passing moral judgement?

    .

  12. rough daddy

    theres nothing wrong with this kid,,,this is the mind set of every red blooded young bucks outthere,,,if you think differently youre probably too placid or your willi been cut off!

  13. CaptainMorgan

    When someone’s true colours are revealed, it is never a pretty sight. This kid is a product of his environment. I’m sure McCain is proud as hell of him and picked Palin as a running mate for just this reason. The South will now be owned by the Republicans.

    *dear God, please, have mercy on them, they know not what they dim dum gone and did.

  14. VEEP

    That was one expensive game of hide the weenie for Levi. Let this be a lesson to anyone trying to have fun with an evangelical girl — they make you repent!

  15. one obvious counterpoint, of many

    Sexual orientation is also a family issue.

  16. pete

    I’m shocked that everything didn’t turn out well after creationism was taught as science and abstinence was taught as sex ed.

  17. rough daddy

    I jus farted.

  18. We are still missing Bristols pic!

  19. Sarah Palin

    Levi, no, you got it all wrong – pulling out only works if it’s Alaska seceding from the United States.

  20. McCain gets my vote!

  21. DirtySanchiz

    Who cares, but I do have to recognize the sweet neckbeard. Nice.

  22. Gypsy

    I’m with havoc on this. I don’t see the problem here either. He appears to be like any teenage (NON GAY) kid I’ve ever met. He’s into sports, likes to hang out with friends, obviously likes girls (a plus in my book), and didn’t plan to have kids. Agreed he should have studied up and used protection to prevent it, but hey sh@t happens. And NEWS FLASH for Citizen!!! HE IS NOT PART OF THE POLITICAL PARTY! He will not be living in the White House and doesn’t get access to ‘THE BUTTON’. He won’t even be on the payroll, so get over it!

  23. martino

    Captain Morgan the south is already owned by Republicans. Apparently, joinning the Republican party is a prerequisite to joining the Baptist church down here.

  24. Reverend Limbaugh

    Wow, classic “bad boy” that the daughter fucked to try to get Mom and Dad’s attention. She should have known better. I mean, look at Sarah Palin now, she has a special needs infant that she’s dropping like a hot potato. Or, more like a misshapen potatohead.

    They’re terrible parents. On that basis alone, it’s a sin to vote for them.

  25. Relic

    I like his greasy stach. Someone needs to get the guy some testosterone…or a proper shaving kit. Haha!

  26. strider

    MULLET!!!!
    other than that… so what…

    both Dem & Rep candidates are lousy and neither is what America needs… but oh well. McCain is the lesser of the two evils though.

  27. Crystal

    What else is there to DO in Alaska to keep warm???

  28. Jumpin_J

    Deacon, rockin comment, man. I could go off on this pitiful little hockey dork who sounds like he’ll be a winner of a husband (God help the kids), but Obama’s right. Let’s keep the kids out of this. Sarah Palin is the gift that keeps on giving. Like how she wants Alaska to be separate from the US, or she’s a book burner, or our founding fathers wrote the Pledge Of Allegiance. There’s such a big bag of stupid that she carries around, we don’t need to bother the family (though it is fun).

  29. Tim

    “Agreed he should have studied up and used protection to prevent it”

    Yeah too bad Palin worked so hard to get that type of information OUT of the schools.

  30. Gypsy – I got news for you. His life just became public when his whore of a girlfriends mom went to run with McCain.

    Its politics – Get over it.

  31. Seeing this hypocrisy blow up in their faces is better than seeing it blow up in Larry Craig’s face.

  32. kitty

    wow why force two kids to get married i think her daughter is better off alone than with that guy…..

  33. Jim

    Is this kid really as bad as Obamas wife?

  34. wHO

    #13…. you’re a Fucktard. Eat shit, feel free to use as much mustard as you need.

  35. #8 – LOL. So true!

    This redneck is the exact person who will be voting for McCain in November. Thankfully, the old senile dude won’t win.

  36. Rod

    @12
    Ignoring the spelling and grammar errors, I’ll move on to say I’m pretty sure placid doesn’t mean what you think it means. Were you going for “flaccid?” I’d say more about your ignorant statement but you’ve already done more to prove my point than I ever could.

  37. Jill

    #22

    Newsflash:

    The Republicans platform has always been no adultry/no sex before marriage and we are better than the democrats. Now their true colors come out! McCain cheated on his first wife with his second wife and now Republican VP candidate Palin has a unwed pregnant daughter!

    Fix the Bush Administration mess by voting democrat.

  38. Aerialgreen

    @11: In elections, it has to do with everything, the candidates are prone to be surrounded by people who will get a vote out of anything and regardless their moral education, motivations, etc.

    Oh, and every human being passes judgment as they pass gas, there is no surprise there.

  39. ME

    Oh Please! Why the hell is this even posted on here? What a waste of time! You know how many people put “I don’t want kids” on myspace! A LOT OF PEOPLE DO!!

    Just because he put that doesn’t mean he couldn’t have put “I can’t have kids by having sex” or “I might have kids if I get my girlfriend knocked up” if Myspace gave you that option.

  40. Stephanie Lemberg

    I bet Sarah feels really good about her child not getting proper sex education. She doesn’t even know how her so called abstinence and contraception work. This is a nice poster child for pro-lifers though. They look like they will make a swell family with good family values to learn from. Having babies at 17 is a nice career choice.

  41. Phil

    Good lord, so many people still don’t get it. Palin and her family are THAT family – the dad is an ordinary guy working an ordinary job, keeping to himself mostly; the mom is Mrs. Perfect and runs the family with an iron fist, she has all sorts of “control issues” (forget her beliefs – who the fuck torments her kids with those fucked up names???); and above all else they try to put out the appearance of being perfect little Christian soldiers. But it’s 100% batshit insanity on the inside.

    There are going to be stories and stories and stories and stories and stories…

    Who knew the presidential campaign would be this much FUN???!!!! Just look at the Republican convention – it should be a snoozefest, but instead it’s like an episode of Jerry Springer.

  42. Phil

    Good lord, so many people still don’t get it. Palin and her family are THAT family – the dad is an ordinary guy working an ordinary job, keeping to himself mostly; the mom is Mrs. Perfect and runs the family with an iron fist, she has all sorts of “control issues” (forget her beliefs – who the fuck torments her kids with those fucked up names???); and above all else they try to put out the appearance of being perfect little Christian soldiers. But it’s 100% batshit insanity on the inside.

    There are going to be stories and stories and stories and stories and stories…

    Who knew the presidential campaign would be this much FUN???!!!! Just look at the Republican convention – it should be a snoozefest, but instead it’s like an episode of Jerry Springer.

  43. Mr.Chips

    I cannot believe the family lives of these candidates. Is this America now? McCain dumps the first wife for a hotter younger one. Palin’s daughter pulls a Jamie Lynn Spears. Obama’s the bastard son of a drunken polygamist and a teenager. Let’s not even touch on Clinton and Edwards. It’s so fucking depressing…

  44. e

    Why all the Political junk?
    just start a 4th site/blog for politics… you’ve got Superficial for gossip, Iwatchstuff for Entertainment and Geekologie for gadgets and the like….

    but then again all this crap is Liberal saturated, so it’s hardly be balanced.

  45. thatgirl

    I am no longer reading these stupid posts. Most of you people are negative and naive about politics. I am headed to a real posting site like USA Today and Google News. This is a kiddie bullshit!!! Dam I can’t belive you dumbasses are actually voting for the President of the United States. I gurantee you don’t know the real Obama, you just go with the trend. What experience does he have against Sarah Palin? She beats him. He was just a community organizer that went to a racist church and a senator that has spent most of his time in running for President. What a joke!
    BYE FOR GOOD AND FUCK ALL YOU THAT TALK SHIT ABOUT MY POST CAUSE I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!

  46. rough daddy

    #17 YOURE WAY TOO OBSESS WITH ME!

  47. Erik

    As you can tell whenever politics pop up on this site, lots of people have their minds permanently made up. They’re arguing about what Palin’s problems “mean.” The undecided and independent voters who actually decide elections vote based on whether or not the candidates seem trustworthy and likable. Palin’s getting killed on that, which is a shame because McCain’s biggest strength against Obama is that people don’t know if they can trust such an unknown and unfamiliar person (Obama), and in general they find him interesting but not especially likable or personable. Independents especially are not going to look at the hot mess that is Palin and decide she’s acceptable anyway because she’s anti-abortion – that issue is about 74th on their list this year.

  48. glide

    #46 – AGREED!!!!!

  49. Whatev

    Are you kidding me??? WHO CARES that her daughter is pregnant? One thing thats for sure, is my parents raised me right and I still went out and did my rebellious things when I wanted. The fact that this girl got knocked up, has nothing to do with her mother as a political figure. McCain is getting my vote.

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