Sarah Jessica Parker is classically beautiful (i.e. ugly)

October 3rd, 2007 // 169 Comments

Where’s He-Man? Skeletor’s running around in a wedding dress again. No, hold on, it’s Sarah Jessica Parker on the set of the Sex and the City movie. Gross. So the guy who has to marry her committed some sort of awful crime right? What’d he do; murder the president’s daughter by blowing up a bus full of schoolchildren and baby pandas? Even then marrying Sarah Jessica Parker is a bit harsh. Couldn’t they just give him a lethal injection?

NOTE: This is maybe the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

Images: Splash

  1. JP

    I’m so tired of all this PC crap. First we have to hear about gay adoption. Then gay marriage. But I absolutely have to draw the line at horse-marriage. Any man that wants to dress up a horse in a wedding dress and……………….oh……..wait a minute…………that’s not a horse? Nevermind.

  2. kate

    She’s not conventionally pretty, but she’s always (in my opinionn) made up for it with pretty hair and great clothes.

    This, however, is the most hideous wedding dress and veil I have ever ever seen. I don’t care that its her character.

  3. FirstTimeLongTime

    #68 – Bravo.

  4. SarahinSeattle

    The thing is, she needs to gain weight to look good. She’s got to put on another, oh, 10 to 15 pounds to look like she did (which was great) five years ago.

  5. Pat Field had the day off

    SJP, the bluejay on your head called. It wants its plumage back.

  6. Captain Crunch

    OMG are you kidding me with that potato sack. OK, she’s a good actress and can be funny but please, eat a tofu-burger or something. Ugly does not look good on skinny. Actually skinny don’t look good on anyone, but that’s for another post.

  7. SJP FAN


  8. wtf

    You need porno tits for a dress like that.

  9. Tits McGee

    39. santa is my dad –
    I have ovaries, and I hated this show. BOR-RING.
    I also get to have alot of sex. Not anonymous like you, you friggin slut. But I like to actually know and like the person or persons I decide to fuck. Jesus christ, you are what’s wrong with women, with the world.

    What the hell is wrong with you? Not all women like that show. Some of us have substance.

    As an aside, some of us with substance stoop to posting on this site. So, I digress.

  10. grim

    Hell is waking up next to that every morning and the projectile vomit that follows.

  11. Laura

    Hey thanks for the SPOILER ALERT, jerk!

  12. kaity

    so…you just ruined the movie

    thanks asshole

  13. lemonfresh

    @ 18. necrophilia means never having to say you’re sorry.

  14. Why are you always doggin’ women on this site! Maybe SJP doesn’t
    want her chest filled with silicone baggies to please men-I don’t think
    she gives a flying f*%k what some lame ass poster to a celebrity
    website thinks about her face, hair, nails, boobs, skin, legs, ect.
    Frankly, I don’t understand the point of this movie and I enjoyed
    watching the show but I guess it’s all about money so what’s new.
    Find some men to rag on why don’t cha’.
    You can start with Bruce Jenner!

  15. Fumus

    Dear Superfical,

    Good use of Latin abbreviations.


  16. cb1173

    The dress is actually pretty (if it fit a little better) but WTF is with the green feather on the side of her head????

  17. Bad choice of dress and veil

    This is wrong on SO many levels. Why is this woman so famous when there are many, many attractive women out there. Did they just grab her off the street and throw her in a couture gown? I never saw what the suits behind her success saw in her, because she isn’t the least bit attractive. And to put her in a cleavage type dress…I think I’m going blind. Oh, the inhumanity.

  18. BunnyButt

    @39, I have ovaries, and they have no desire whatsoever to see this movie, with or without the rest of me. And my ovaries always thought this show was pointless and annoying. Personally, my ovaries prefer to have sex rather than watch people talking about it, especially these four ovary-transporters. And since women’s ovaries determine all of their actions and thoughts (at least that’s what my ovaries, which are typing this post, understand from your post), I have to go along with what my ovaries think since they obviously know better than my brain. If you have a problem with this post, please take it up with my ovaries since they are completely responsible for the content. The rest of me is just along for the ride.

  19. BunnyButt

    And my ovaries just told me that’s one of the ugliest dresses they’ve ever seen.

  20. Spongebob Gangsta

    Night Of The Wedding Dead

  21. toolboy

    Seriously, the guy’s name is “MR BIG”. If he hits that ass with any kind of gusto he’ll be picking pieces of her pelvis out of his wang for a week and she’ll have a distinct rattle for the rest of her life. Don’t nick an artery on those hip bones MR BIG.

  22. JustThisOneTime

    I can honestly say I’ve never watched this show and have no desire to see a movie based on it, yet even I could guess there would be some stupid, over-done wedding scene involved in this movie to make all the yentas out there happy, and that Mrs. Ed here would be the one to get married. Just making a point to all of you out there getting all miffed about there not being a Spoiler Alert with this post. It’s like getting mad when someone leaks the fact that, “Hey, in this movie, there’s gonna be gross, middle-aged, unrealistic sex scenes.” Go read Gawker, losers. Let us make fun of this gross chick in peace.

  23. Lila

    On the positive side… If they ever remake Corpse Bride into a live action film they have a lead!

  24. nick

    I was sooo excited to see the movie and now this ….. it just breaks my heart! The is the ugliest thing i have ever seen!!!! TAKE IT OFF NOW!!!!!!!!!

  25. gna

    Her breasts are to small for that dress. Kinda weird.

  26. Jackie


    I really hope so. There’s no other explanation!

  27. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth….

  28. thanks a fucking lot for ruining the movie.

  29. BunnyButt

    Oh, please, like you didn’t expect this wedding in the movie.

    My ovaries are so disgusted that people couldn’t figure this out. My ovaries saw a total of three episodes of SATC during it’s entire run and had it figured out just from all the online hype about the movie.

  30. hcole

    cant they film this on a closed set or something…i was looking forward to this movie, but with photos from the set being published every single day I feel like i have seen it already!!!

  31. CorrectMeifImWrongBUT

    The costume designer and dressmaker should be shot.

  32. GodSendMeAGirlWithOvaries

    Hi, I’m a guy and I don’t give a damn about SJP. I do give a damn about women and their ovaries especially if it gets me sex with an ovarie overflowing babydoll. I was thinking like 18 years old. Certainly not SJP. She is a tranny.

  33. Miguelito

    To all the women that defend her, and luckily, you’re getting thin on the ground these days –

    Just being middle-aged and having the face of an antique waffle iron does not make you anti-Hollywood or genuine. SJP markets a perfume called “Covet.” Yes, covet, as in one of the seven deadly sins. As in, she actually thinks you envy her. She is TAUNTING you, you morons!

    Notice how none of these tart-tongued, fat, basement-dwelling meanies like myself are going after, say, Sally Field, or Madeleine Stowe, or whatever other aging actresses are out there. They are going after SJP because she is ( a ) Delusional ( b ) Greedy ( c ) Married to a faygeleh ( d ) Evil and promoting terrible slutty materialistic values ( e ) Only on T.V. because she’s Jewish ( f ) Warty ( g ) Threw Christopher Reeve off her back and left him a paraplegic.

  34. I agree that she is frightening on many, many levels. But why are you always slagging women and not men on this site? You never critisize men’s appearances, are you gay or something?

  35. Casey

    Save Ferris.

  36. LL

    If any chick bends over that way, her boobs are gonna look like that, unless they’re freakishly fake and overly stuffed, then they look like bowling balls in a sock. The dress is fucking ugly AND it doesn’t fit her. If that no-talent Patricia Field chick is dressing them for this movie, then that explains that. I could pull shit out a dumpster behind a truck stop that looks better than the crap that hag puts together. Seriously, SJP should sue Pat Field for defamation of character. And the makeup artist and hair people (for this movie) should be codefendants. SJP isn’t conventionally beautiful, but she doesn’t have to look THIS bad. It’s pretty bad when the best-looking thing in a wedding photo is the giant bouquet you’re holding.

    And I just noticed that SJP has a fucking BIRD glued to the side of her head. Is that the latest wedding trend? Giant green birds stuck to your head? Pretty.

    Seriously, Texas Tranny wouldn’t be caught dead wearing that shit. Or so I like to think.

  37. Oeuf

    There are plenty of ugly men, why not dog them for a change?

  38. LL

    “Threw Christopher Reeve off her back and left him a paraplegic.” – Hee hee, funny.

  39. Basketball Diaries

    To find someone that is as lovely as that in a wedding dress, one would have to go WAY back, to say… Dennis Rodman.

  40. Newman

    These are definately fair game hideous pics to make fun of SJP, but I’ve never personally had a problem with her. She can look kinda cute (I know I’ll get ripped for that, but the skinny frame/decent sized jugs perspective helps a LOT) and other times REALLY bad, and is not usually too annoying. What I have to complain about though, is how can the NASTY Cynthia Nixon is ever considered “beautiful”. That one is beyond me and if you can rip on SJP yet stand up for CN then you are really messed up. Talk about SNAGGLETOOTHED! She could get away with it in Little Darlings and The Manhatten Project but not so much with the short hair as an adult. NOT GOOD. Relax CN fans, this opinion is in no such way regarding her personally, but do open up your f’ing eyes if you disagree.

  41. elizabeththewellread

    She is ugly. Looks like every other white trash princess in that armpit of Ohio, Nelsonville, where she was born. All ahe needs is a Kool-Aid stained kid on her hip.

    But I love the show, I love the girls, and I’ll see this movie twice in the theater.

  42. Nine times

    “Save Ferris” ha ha ha ha ha

    Now, THAT’S FUNNY!!

    I feel ill now that I’ve seen that photo of SJP bending over. She should sue Patricia Fields for making her wear that god-awful dress. W T F??? Just fire Fields. That would work! If SJP has any say in what she wears, then SHE should known better.

  43. Goethe Helen Waite

    Its the dead bird on the head that makes me throw up a little on my mouth. Nothing like the cadaver of an endangered tropical bird on your head to show the world how feminine and pretty you are.

  44. She is the modern bride of Frankenstein, but that’s not really fair to frankensteins bride she had scars, SJP just has ugly

  45. L.Linus

    #68- that is soooo good, and soooo true. SJP is not pretty and if you didn’t know her and saw her in the mall you’d say, Damn what a horse-face chick with a kinda nice body!!!

  46. Catherine

    they actually think were going to pay for a movie ticket to see this?!

  47. A. D.

    You are a real little bitch you know that? Not only have you posted spoilers without warning us before hand, you’re also massivly obnoxious and rude. SJP is a very pretty woman, maybe a bit thin but what hollywood actress isn’t?

  48. claud

    you’re such an asshole. does every woman have to live up to your exacting standards, douchebag? she’s a fucking comedienne, not a spokesmodel, making a movie for women. who gives a shit what she looks like? guys who sit there picking apart relatively attractive women instead of speaking to ACTUAL WOMEN are fags. you’re a fag.

  49. jacknasty

    I like Sarah she charming, funny and pretty

  50. J

    I don’t think we should all be so cruel without learning a little more about her family background. Did you know that her relatives were all afraid to charge into a formation of soldiers holding pike weapons? Did you know that police around the world have had great success using her and her relatives for crowd control? Do you think that the west could have been won were it not for gunfighters riding atop her ancestors? And what about the farmers who plowed entire fields with nothing more than a leather-strapped harness and metal plow towed behind SJP and her ancestors? Think before you criticize people.

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