Samantha Ronson Got a DUI

August 2nd, 2011 // 50 Comments

“Officer, are ya gonna arrest me or bust my balls? My actual, physical balls. Which I have.”

Lindsay Lohan‘s former lover turned perpetual stalking victim Samantha Ronson was arrested for DUI yesterday after trying to drive home from Vegas completely shit-faced, proving lesbians really do think like dudes. TMZ reports:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ, Lindsay Lohan’s ex-girlfriend was driving home from Las Vegas at 10:30AM in her black Porsche when she was pulled over for speeding.
We’re told she was given a field sobriety test and didn’t perform well. According to our sources, she refused to take what is commonly called a “roadside blow” — a less-scientific breathalyzer, which is not a mandatory test. She was arrested at the scene.
Ronson was transported to the Baker substation, where we’re told she blew over the legal limit. According to sources, she was cooperative the entire time.

And of course she was cooperative. When you’ve got a Friends of Lindsay card, it’s like a lawyer in your pocket. “Ohmygod, you know Lindsay? Jimmy get these cuffs off, she knows Lindsay. Right this way to the Champagne Room, Ms. Ronson. Now would you prefer your evidence shredded or burnt?” (Anyone tries to say that’s not how California law enforcement works, I’ll fight them to the death.)

Photos: Pacific Coast News


  1. Hugh Gentry


  2. mensa

    Samantha Ronson is the hottest woman alive. Mmmmm sexy hobo attire and the gentle aroma of cigarettes and queefs, yeahhh.


  3. Racer X


  4. Samantha Ronson DUI
    Commented on this photo:

    She refused to blow? What a shock……

  5. Michelle

    It also mentioned she was 5’7″ and weighed 102 lbs. I thought lesbians were suppose to have more meat (insert obvious joke here) to them.

  6. Samantha Ronson DUI
    Commented on this photo:

    “You want me to give you a “roadside blow”? Who do you think I am, Lindsay Lohan?”

  7. Matt

    Lol, he said roadside blow.

  8. A guy I work with says shes kinda cute, in a tomboy sort of way…
    I say I’d rather put my dick in a bowl of hot vomit.

  9. She’s clearly the dude in her relationships.

  10. Donald Trump

    Psychokiller eyes.

  11. MarkM

    Let’s all waste more time fighting for “her” right to get married!

    • Mark, take your bigoted opinions and shove them up your ass. Everyone should have the right to marry and not be discriminated against because a narrow minded segment of society feels threatened. There was a time when it was illegal for interracial couples to marry, for women to vote or black people to own property or even have a say over whether they lived or died. I’d like to think we’re a little more enlightened now. Gays having the right to marry is no different. Legalizing gay marriage is another step towards the ideals this country was founded on. Freedom.

      • MarkM

        Why would I want to shove anything up my ass? I’m not gay.

      • kimmykimkim

        I saw this the other day: If you don’t like gay marriage, blame straight people. They’re the ones who keep having gay babies.

        MarkM: You need to enlighten yourself and watch the documentary titled “for the bible tells me so.” Actually everybody who thinks the bible is against homosexuality should watch this.

      • PoorMaryKelly

        I’m all for gay rights but please, not the speech.

    • Dick

      Ahhhhh…I miss the good ol’ days.

      • kimmykimkim

        Well just for that I’m going to preach every chance I get. Too bad for you. If you don’t like it don’t read it. It really is THAT simple.

    • Dick

      Ahhhhh…I miss the good ol’ days

  12. Just think….if this was Lindsay Lohan, she could have had a dead body wedged under the front bumper and they would have let her go without question.

    • Xeorad

      Ah, no one understands why Lohan gets out of jail. The 14 days of Black Death last year, when she was in jail and infected 17 prison guards with various STD cocktails, cost the state over $125,000 in medical expenses and a further 35 million in pain and suffering compensation. I think she could murder the pope with a sharpened cross while wearing a bottomless burka and still walk free.

  13. Samantha Ronson DUI
    Commented on this photo:

    “Well, I wuz juss tryin’ to get home to see ma lady.”

  14. Samantha Ronson DUI
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugly Lindsay.

  15. Frank Burns

    Its discrimination asking her for a “roadside blow”! She should have been asked to give a “carpetside lick”. Ronson was also fined for “Tribbing Without a License”.

  16. the one

    what did I do wrong, officer?

  17. Facebook Me

    She looks a Mom that definitely has had one to many, leaving a PTA meeting.

  18. Vegas has the finest jailhouse poontang. She’ll do well.

  19. Venom

    I can’t stand this chick, just nasty and low class even though she comes from money.

    What a shame too because she probably is hot if she got cleaned up and looked more feminine but she always looks homeless.

  20. PedoBear

    HEAR-HEAR, ther’s nothing wrong with two people wanting to get down together.

  21. Samantha Ronson DUI
    Commented on this photo:

    InStyle Magazine? I called earlier to submit that article about flanel being back in style? No? What if I told you this is Lyndsey Lo… fuck it, how does $5 bucks sound?

  22. team hot ginge

    Are we SURE sure that she’s Charlotte Ronson’s twin and not Aaron Carter’s?

  23. Samantha Ronson DUI
    Veronika Larsson
    Commented on this photo:

    I think the cigarettes and lack of proper nutrition are showing on Sam. Her colour, such as it is, is shallow and almost jaundiced. She’s lucky she didn’t hurt anybody (or herself) while she was driving drunk.

    Let us all take a moment to reflect on this fact: when Sam and Lindsay were together, SAM WAS THE STABLE ONE.


  24. Veronika Larsson

    I think the cigarettes and lack of proper nutrition are showing on Sam. Her colour, such as it is, is shallow and almost jaundiced. She’s lucky she didn’t hurt anybody (or herself) while she was driving drunk.

    Let us all take a moment to reflect on this fact: when Sam and Lindsay were together, SAM WAS THE STABLE ONE.


  25. Steelerchick

    So where’s the MUG shot???

  26. What exactly is “over the legal limit” for a lesbian roadside blow? 1 cock?

  27. She blew a .9 for alcohol, but a 3.1 on the puss-o-meter.

  28. Kim

    Someone needs to tell her that showering and bathing is a good thing.

  29. Samantha Ronson DUI
    Commented on this photo:

    ohhhhh now i see what lindsay does…. :s

  30. Dick Douche, Private Eye

    She actually looks kind of cute in that picture – dare I say, “handsome”?

  31. Samantha Ronson DUI
    red sparrow
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe that is how California law enforcement works but which state do you think Las Vegas is in?

  32. Samantha Ronson DUI
    Commented on this photo:

    How in the hell did this crappy, skanky, POS “DJ” afford a Porsche? Oh that’s right…Lindsay’s crumbs. “Red Sparrow” she got pulled over in CA, Baker is on the back from LV, NV in CA. About 1 to 1 1/2 hours drive from LV

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