Salma Hayek’s Cleavage is Out Again

I could write a whole bunch of words about the Cannes premiere of Puss in Boots that reach deep into your soul, creating a sense of childlike glee and wonder you’ve long since forgotten, but the important thing is Salma Hayek has gigantic breasts, yet somehow I still noticed Antonio Banderas shown up shit-blasted out of his mind. Now, give me one of those fancy medals Thousand Prancing Legs got. I’m artfully teabagging adversity in the dick over here. *thinks about logistics of that statement* No, that came out right.

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