Russell Brand Tried To Bang Mila Kunis When She Was With Macaulay Culkin. It Didn’t Work.

June 20th, 2013 // 17 Comments

Russell Brand has a new comedy tour to promote which requires him to do constant media appearances where he shares humorous anecdotes that hopefully people like me will repeat. Anecdotes like trying to pick up Mila Kunis only to have her say, “No, thanks, I’ll keep banging Macaulay Culkin,” so well played, chap. You stuck it right in me wheelhouse. Via Mirror Online:

“She’s so gorgeous, just so gorgeous and I was chatting her up and got the conversation around to have you got a boyfriend, and then you know that feeling of how long do I have to entertain a conversation?
“Then I go away and she keeps talking about her boyfriend Mac, this is when I was on Sarah Marshall.”

“Eventually she said he’s coming tomorrow and there was some sort of fanfare, she was so excited.
“Then when he came it wasn’t Mac – it was Macaulay Culkin. He’d got longer and looked pale and scared of himself, like a shaved horse.
“There was a horror about him and I thought, ‘you can’t f**k him – that’s the lad from Home Alone’.”

In Russell’s defense, Mila Kunis admitted to being blind while she was with Macaulay Culkin, so for all she knew a feather duster with a British accent was trying to have sex with her. Although, it probably wouldn’t have hurt to assure her you’ll regain your human form once the Beast’s curse has been lifted. Women like promises.

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. brick

    Well DUH!

  2. I tried and also failed.

  3. Mila Kunis Russell Brand
    Juch
    Commented on this photo:

    Have another run at her Russel. She’s obviously lost all sense of standards now that she’s with Kutcher . . . you can probably have her behind a garbage bin at the movie studio.

  4. JOHNNY P!

    I like how Russell Brand marches to the beat of his own drummer.
    I love how the beat of that drum falls silent to my ears.
    And most people’s.
    Wank on, Brave Russell!

  5. ThisWillHurt

    “You can’t fuck Macauley Culkin, love. He was the lad from ‘Home Alone.’ You should fuck me instead. I was the chap in the ‘Arthur’ remake.”

  6. K. Bania

    “like a shaved horse”

    that’s gold, Russell…GOLD!

  7. Jim

    haha! Brand is a legend!

  8. Didn’t think come out a while ago…and didn’t this site say something about it already?

  9. I would be ashamed of any man who worked with Mila Kunis and didn’t try to fuck her at least once.

  10. kery

    Thats so funny!!! Mila now you are my hero !!

  11. Dick Hell

    I’ll never sit through a Brand movie or stand-up routine but I have to admit his work on Morning Joe was outstanding. It’s just a damn shame Scarborough was tied up across town in a male brothel receiving a different kind of lashing.

  12. A

    Yeah he told this exact story in one of his comedy tours like 3 years ago…topical “news” story this

  13. I sure hope that cretin isn’t complaining. After all, he ended up with Katy Perry — at least for a while.

  14. Mila Kunis Russell Brand
    ITOLDYOU
    Commented on this photo:

    GREAT LEGS!

  15. Andrew

    This story was part of his act during his first US comedy special. It’s very old news.

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