Turns Out Licking Kristen Stewart’s Vagina Is Bad For Your Marriage. Who Knew?

January 28th, 2013 // 54 Comments
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For those of you who forget the day true love grew it’s last pure, untainted sparkle-erection, Snow White and The Hunstman director Rupert Sanders was caught going down on Kristen Stewart who was Robert Pattinson‘s girlfriend and more importantly not Rupert Sanders’ wife Liberty Ross. And while it seemed like everyone was going to be oddly cool about all this and pretend it never happened, Liberty Ross has apparently decided to defy the Illuminati and file for divorce, so there goes this year’s Baby Sacrifice and Chili Cook-Off. Sonofabtich… TMZ reports:

Ross just filed her paperwork in L.A. County Superior Court. She’s asking for joint custody of their 2 children — ages 5 and 7.
Ross, who is repped by disso-queen Laura Wasser, is also asking for spousal support, as well as attorney’s fees.
Sanders, who is repped by Lance Spiegel, also filed his response to the divorce petition. He’s also requesting joint custody. He is not asking for spousal support. As for attorney’s fees, he wants to share the costs with Liberty.

“So, listen, Liberty, love. I know this is all my fault, and I completely ruined our family, but what do you say you and I both split the cost of the divorce 50/50 like civil adults? It’s just I spent a great deal of money on dental dam- clothes for the kids! Clothes for the kids. The price of shoes today, amirite? Ahaha! Ha… I’ll go start writing you giant checks now. Good talk.”

Photos: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. Rupert Sanders Liberty Ross Snow White And The Huntsman Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    If your ears stick out….don’t slick your hair back.

  2. USDA Prime McBeef

    the wife es muy creepy looking.

  3. Pale, small breasted, emotionless, and kind of needing a bath. The man definitely has a type.

  4. Rupert Sanders Liberty Ross Snow White And The Huntsman Premiere
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not surprised she’s asking for spousal support. If you’re wed to a demonic elf, they’ll take you for everything you’ve got.

  5. Rupert Sanders Liberty Ross Snow White And The Huntsman Premiere
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a villain from Star Trek

  6. Nate

    Anyone mature enough knows that this was going to happen regardless the affair.

  7. You know what else licking Kristin Stewart’s vagina is bad for? Fresh breath.

    • The Royal Penis

      I’m betting that he couldn’t get that taste out of his mouth…and Liberty was reminded of that every time they tried to kiss and make up.

      • What’s that old saying? “When you kiss your wife, she’s performing cunnilingus on all the women you’ve performed cunnilingus on”? Or something… I don’t really remember.

  8. alex

    I wonder if he feels it was “worth it.”

  9. “disso-queen” hahaha. There goes Rupert’s David FIncher connection (she’s Atticus Ross’ sister)

  10. april

    its, not it’s

  11. faithful

    Gee, I bet Kristen was the first Rupert ever targeted. Who else has he worked with?

  12. Rupert Sanders Liberty Ross Snow White And The Huntsman Premiere
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Mr Sanders obviously has a thing for angry looking women.

  13. If ever we needed proof Summit spent a huge amount of cash on damage control, Robert Pattinson dumping Stewart and Liberty Ross dumping Sanders at the exact same time a few months after the last Twilight flick has got to be it right?

  14. Rupert Sanders Liberty Ross Snow White And The Huntsman Premiere
    Edvard Munch
    Commented on this photo:

    What in the world is that?

  15. Rupert Sanders Liberty Ross Snow White And The Huntsman Premiere
    Visible Ink
    Commented on this photo:

    The day Kristen Stewart became a step up in comparison. Who would have guessed.

  16. Rupert Sanders Liberty Ross Snow White And The Huntsman Premiere
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “May I seat you sir? Today’s specials are Moo Goo Gai Pan, War Su Gai, and stab Kristen Stewart in the face. Oops.”

  17. Rupert Sanders Liberty Ross Snow White And The Huntsman Premiere
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    nice try mystique.
    we all know its you.

  18. #Liloisamoron

    And this matters to who?…Seriously, it was inevitable and completely expected by anyone with half a brain…..so why write about this event between two non-entities?

  19. EagleEye

    Holy shit, she is “Ranx Xerox”s sister. Google it.

  20. MaybeItsForTheBest

    “Dude looks like a lady”

  21. Poor Rupert. Losing his wife will mean he won’t be able to use her ears to receive free satellite TV anymore…

  22. Rupert Sanders Liberty Ross Snow White And The Huntsman Premiere
    Cagey
    Commented on this photo:

    I think that lady’s head is bad for a marriage.

  23. And when I get excited
    My little Gothic girl
    She says “Oh baby, just you shut your mouth…”

  24. bjco

    He looks like an arrogant ass and she is the same.

  25. Rupert Sanders Liberty Ross Snow White And The Huntsman Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Definitely not her best look.

  26. Rupert Sanders Liberty Ross Snow White And The Huntsman Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    If I was married to that lampshade I would run after an alley cat like Kristen Stewart too.

  27. Rupert Sanders Liberty Ross Snow White And The Huntsman Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    it’s all in those pissed-off pressed lips of hers.

  28. bullhocky

    If his wife gets a divorce, he can go back to Kristen lickedly split.

  29. Rupert Sanders Liberty Ross Snow White And The Huntsman Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Rupert wants the Lord to strike him down and rescue him from this obvious succubus.

  30. ladybuggirl

    ok that head line is way inappropriate. he’s older and wiser. and youall are assholes!

  31. culparde

    She looks like Macaulay Culkin.

  32. judgingyou

    I now see why he went for Kristen Stewart……

  33. Mike D

    She is an English model. Kind of like a Rover 75.

  34. Rupert Sanders Liberty Ross Snow White And The Huntsman Premiere
    Joe Blow
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s up with the dude in the blue dress?

  35. Mom

    I see we no longer have any standards for article titles anymore.

  36. Kevin

    Marrying a dummy is bad for your marriage. Isn’t that Charlie McCarthy?

  37. Annie

    She looks bad in these pics but do a quick image search, she’s way better looking. This was just a very unflattering look.

    There’s no way a man would dump a British super model for a stuttering girl who looks like a boy.

  38. Ripley's Believe It Or Not

    She’s no Servalan, and he’s no Blake.

  39. Greatest American Hero

    I don’t know. Maybe I’m in the minority, but I certainly wouldn’t mind having a go at Kristen’s vagina.

  40. NaNa

    Kristen was 22 years old at the time of this event. Rupert was 42 y/o and new better. Why do Kristen get all the blame? They both were wrong?

  41. some black guy

    marriage sucks. any married man understands another married man risking his marriage and half his shit for a lick of k-stew vag

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