“I believe I’ll have child for lunch. Or perhaps a slice of that delicious dinosaur meat from the cellar. Hmm, yes…”
While explaining to Parliament how News of the World thought it’d be a great idea to hack voicemail messages of dead girls and the surviving families of terrorist victims, News Corp. CEO Rupert Murdoch was attacked by Jonathan May-Bowles, a shaving cream pie-wielding assailant who forgot the most important rule of billionaire supervillains: Their Asian wives always know karate. You see, just before the pie could reach Murdoch – who literally remained unfazed the entire time (Read: He has a force-field.) – his wife Wendi Deng appeared out of nowhere, possibly even from a cloud of smoke just off-camera, and swatted the pie out of the dude’s hand before clocking him in the mouth. And just like that she’s become an international hero for saving the most-hated man on the fucking planet. It’s like watching Lex Luthor’s wife take a bullet for him and then throwing her a parade, that’s what just happened.