Robert Pattinson’s brooding is corrupting your children

November 11th, 2008 // 78 Comments

Robert Pattinson’s roguishly stoned looks are corrupting America’s youth faster than that time Miley Cyrus showed an airbrushed glimpse of her bare back. The star of the upcoming film Twilight, an adaptation of the insanely popular vampire novels that hasn’t even opened yet, is apparently getting all kinds of disturbing reactions on publicity stops – including a 7-year-old girl asking him to bite her. E! Online reports:

Still, just last week the 22-year-old British actor was at an Apple store in New York City when a 7-year-old girl asked to take a photo with him. No big deal, right?
“But then she went really quiet and she was like, ‘Can you bite me?’ ” Pattinson told me with a somewhat nervous laugh yesterday in a Beverly Wilshire Hotel room, where he’d been holed up doing press all weekend. “It wasn’t a joke…I looked at her and thought, ‘Do you know what you’re saying?’ There are these kinds of sexual thoughts that come out of people that they don’t even know are sexual.”

And just yesterday Robert’s fans caused a riot at the Stonestown Galleria in San Francisco, according to TMZ:

The crowd — nearly 10 times larger than event officials prepared for — mutated into a mob scene when a push to get into the mall got so wild, that several kids fell under the crush. One girl reportedly broke her nose and another fainted.
No arrests were made and the event was canceled for obvious reasons.

Jesus, this guy’s like Tickle Me Elmo for English majors. Now you see why it’s never a good idea to let your children read – except for this site. I’ll learn them stuff.

Photos: WENN
superficial

  1. H. Dallas

    I really like this site, it was the only place where I could go freely without coming across with this guy. So thanks for ruin that for me.
    I’m really starting to hate him. He’s ugly as fuck and he laughs (and looks) like a retard.
    I feel sorry for all the dimwitted girls who think he’s hot… And I don’t get either what’s the fucking fuzz about.
    Give me a break

  2. KimberWolf

    I think he’s one of those that looks better on screen than off. Off screen, I agree he looks like a pole-axed stoner.

    I read the books because my 13 yr old daughter was, and I wanted to stay 1 book ahead of her to check them out. They were OK, but not the end all be all of the literary world.

    Brace yourselves. There’s 3 more movies after this one.

  3. Lulu

    I’d let him lay on top of me.

  4. Toony

    Or she just thinks she wants to be a vampire.

  5. holly

    he is going to be huge! I think he’s the sexiest guy out there right now, girls dont understand why guy are attracted to particular girls so I don’t find it that surprising that all the guys are like assuming that girls who like him are dim-witted, probably jealous anyways because this guy is incredibly handsome, tall and talented!
    Don’t hate!
    oh yes that jawline is sexy!

  6. Hugh Jass

    who the FUCK is this lose-wad??????????????????

  7. yo

    i cannot deny the pure sexiness. yum. so sue me.

  8. tahnee

    don’t they have tweezers for that bert-brow in jolly old england?

  9. junieb

    #49 – get a clue. “Offal” was the intended word.

  10. Ashley

    Okay. no offense but she’s 7 years-old she doesnt know any better. She obviously thought he was a real vampire. She did not know that that is a sexual gesture. and if you dont want to see the movie dont see it. No one is going to hate you for it. And everyone has different oppinions on their guys & that picture taken there is off guard and if a picture is ever taken of you off guard you might look drunk too.
    Seriously think about different point of view before you talk.

  11. Holly

    Twilight was possibly the worst movie i’ve ever seen. robert made up for it though. jesus, he is HOT!

  12. Jon

    Hey whoever said guys that are dissing him are jealous needs to get their prescriptions refilled. Now if it were Colin Farrell or Brad Pitt i could see you shouting out the haters, but this douche is f’n ugly as shit. I don’t care if every female on the planet wanted this scrawny fag, i’d rather be gay than look like him.

  13. Jon

    Oh yeah, and LOL @ little slit eyed punk and gay tarantino, nailed it.

  14. natashahsatan

    I watched some interviews on him on youtube. And in one interview he says he DOESEN’T LIKE KIDS…. AT ALL… And someone asked if he’d marry them. And he answered depending on what you look like. He is kind of stupid. And he seems stoned all the time. I don’t know if that’s the case or he’s just retarded. Well let’s not forget he’s only like 22 years old and has a lot of growing to do. But if he isn’t speaking or laughing, I have to admit he’s gorgeous. I’d totally do him. But I’d have to duck tape his mouth. hoTT.

  15. natashahsatan

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6EHumIA3aY

    that’s the idiotic interview btw.

  16. sumbudy frum englund

    man, this is like the best site for criticizing ughly rob freely without some loser commenting after u and telling u to stop. ok, so i watched twilight, worse movie ever by the way, and it sucked so badly i wanted to sleep but couldnt cuz of the screamng girls. i honestly didnt know if they were screaming about how ughly he was or cuz they thought he was cute. AND HE IS SOOO NOT CUTE, AT ALL. period. and i was forced, literally forced, to go see twilight. ah well, i wasted two hours of my life, but at least i didnt waste my 8 bucks(someone paid for me, for those of you who are slow) idk why girls are mobbing him cuz he clearly burns my eyes. i wanted to scream in the movie theatres because of his ughliness. i can’t stand it. it tooo horrible. i cant believe ppl would compare twilight to harry potter. or compare ughly rob to zac efron. its like comparing a chick to a lion.

  17. Jill

    He is definitely not my type. Don’t get why so many girls are ecstasic about him. Fugly as fuck. I’d rather masturbate.

  18. Valerie

    I’d totally let him eat me out, then I’d leave, heh heh!

  19. C

    LOVE him. i don’t care what anyone says, rob is gorgeous. those pics above aren’t the best ones of him, but we all have our off-day-pictures. he’s genuinely a good guy, i would know. he’s got a good head on his shoulders, and isn’t like every other self indulgent hollywood actor his age. my heart goes out to rob. he definately swept my heart away.

  20. C

    LOVE him. i don’t care what anyone says, rob is gorgeous. those pics above aren’t the best ones of him, but we all have our off-day-pictures. he’s genuinely a good guy, i would know. he’s got a good head on his shoulders, and isn’t like every other self indulgent hollywood actor his age. my heart goes out to rob. he definately swept my heart away.

  21. molly

    ok first of all i would just like to say that ya all are retarded ( but not the people who sayed good things about robert) and some of you are just plain disgustin…and the person who posted last i soooooo agree with you.and you people who sayed the the movie wouldnt do very good you sould have seen how many peolpe where camped out to see the midnight showing they took up most of the inside and most of the sidewalk.. and twilight kicked some massive ass!!!!!

  22. Michelle

    All I have to ask of the haters is “Jealous much?”

  23. Dave

    “I bet his jewish agent is named Hymen”

    Oh, very funny. I bet your tight-pussed Irish Catholic mother is named Mary Phelomena Bernadette.

  24. Dave

    “I bet his jewish agent is named Hymen”

    Oh, very funny. I bet your tight-pussed Irish Catholic mother is named Mary Phelomena Bernadette.

  25. Benjamin

    He looks like a freaking foot.
    He’s hairy and he looks stoned.
    And that kid’s expression tells us either “OMIHGAWD Robbart pattinsaaaneh!!”
    Or “I can still run, and then take out this dynamite that has been shoved up my ass.”.

  26. pff...

    I think that he is an idiot and ugly but to all you people out there who say those who hate him are jealous are WRONG. I really do think that he is just stupid. Twilight is hyped up way too much and you really just cannot compare Twilight and Harry Potter. They are two very different movies.

  27. Lol

    Robert Pattison is a fucking fag. No I’m not jealous of his so called “good looks”, I’m annoyed with all the shit he does to get attention the acts like he never asked for it in the first place. You narcissistic faggot.

  28. you have a very talented and skilled writting. i had a great time reading your comments.

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