Rihanna Was So Lucky Chris Brown Beat Her
(Alternate Title: America Is A F-ckbox of Dumb)

February 13th, 2012 // 94 Comments

Eventually all of us are going to grow old and be forced to rely on younger generations to provide our care and generally make sure society as a whole doesn’t collapse on itself leaving nothing but a barren wasteland where the elderly will be the first to die as our limbs lack the strength and agility to hunt giant mutated rats for food. Which is why after reading this, I’ll be putting a goddamn bullet in my mouth at the first sign of pants-shitting:

25 Extremely Upsetting Reactions To Chris Brown At The Grammys [Buzzfeed]

Thanks to Dawn for making sure I was good and depressed this morning. You’re my nightingale.

Photo: Getty, Splash News, WENN


  1. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Everybody checking out everybody else’s tits.
    Why so shy KP?

  2. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry, but in this shot Rihanna > KP

  3. Gabriel

    first juju

  4. Dude of Dudes

    If I was the dude in Pic #14 Id punch that bitch right in the mouth for tweeting that. Then tell her I changed my name to Chris Brown.

  5. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “If you can look past the ever-present bruises on my legs, I’ll ignore the blue hair and stupiditiy and we can do this.”

  6. Frank Burns

    Somewhat ironic that a site bemoaning America as a fuckbox of dumb precedes entry into the site with an advert for “Khloe & Lamar”. Irony continues as I enter site anyway, then write bitchy missive about it. Oh irony, must I be your bitch?

    • Frank Burns

      Wait, that last part might just be stupidity, not irony. Hard to tell sometimes . . . its like rain on your wedding day, or a black fly in your chardonnay. But, people said that song didn’t actually describe irony, which was then ironic in itself, goddam you Morissette! Ah, never mind, I give up.

    • Michael

      Don’t rain on our parade. Join the fun and goof on the retarded Twats.

  7. I bet they would feel differently if they were in the emergency room having their noses stapled back to their faces.

  8. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “Nope. Even sitting like that you still look pretty small.”

  9. dinosaurland

    If they’re so into being beaten, I’ve got room in my schedule. But probably not enough muscle to beat all the fucking dumb out of them.

  10. EricLr

    I would let Chris Brown beat up most of those women too.

  11. Check the Clock

    Justin Bieber performing during half-time at the Super Bowl, Kanye West running for President and winning, Lady Gaga on TV every night, Michael Lohan mentoring wife beaters. These and more are what’s in store for the very near future.
    Snooki replaces Oprah as day time talk shows number one celebrity. Chris Brown replaces Piers Morgan on CNN. Kim Kardashian opens the Kim Kardashian Church and water park retreat in Southern California.

    Ryan Seacrest hosts NBC nightly news. Jay Z replaces David Letterman as host of Late Night. Rhianna throws out the first pitch of the World Series. Selena Gomez hosts the Today Show.

  12. Murder she wrote

    Whitney was dead before she was placed in the bath tub full of water.

  13. Carrie

    Rihanna is a dumb bitch anyway. If she’s going back to Chris Brown after he beat her then she deserves it. I’m not saying beating women is okay, but I am saying you’re a weak, ignorant, attention seeking woman who deserves every stitch, staple, and bruise if you’re gonna put yourself back in that environment.

    • Brooke

      She doesn’t deserve it, but if she goes back to him she doesn’t deserve any sympathy on this issue anymore. I think she’s a twat with stupid music and no clue and he’s a twat with big stupid lips and stupid hair and a lousy personality and the dumbest fucking fans on the planet and he beats women to make them look more like the burly men he’d rather be fucking and I hate him.

    • TheHomelessNinja

      As long as he doesn’t break at least 4 of your bones, it’s definitely not love.

  14. TeamRihanna

    I can’t believe all those girls would tweet that. I’m so glad The Superficial doesn’t condone abuse. Keep railing about this, what he did was despicable! #teamrihanna


    • He’s a pathetic loser, but she’s a stupid attention whore herself. I politely suggest you rename yourself TeamFuckThemBoth to save yourself future embarrassment.

  15. SisterRay

    She looks hot.

    And blame the fathers of my generation. They fucking sucked.

  16. Liv

    stupid bitches.

  17. Ola

    dumb bitches

  18. kanyegayfish

    That is what Nicole said about O.J. ….white trash is abundant.

  19. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere Russel Brand is looking at this pic and yelling “Oh and NOW she’s cool with it?!”

  20. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice pic.

  21. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    E. Fudd
    Commented on this photo:

    anyone else hungry for flapjacks?

  22. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She can look like ghetto trash, and she can put on a classic black dress and look like a goddess.

  23. forrest gump

    embarresed for being black?

  24. MrChips

    I wish Rhianna would beat me up in that pantsuit.

    • Schmidtler

      I guess I can kind of get it why somebody would want Rihanna to beat them up, but why would you want to be wearing that pantsuit while she beats you? That’s just sick! You’re sick, sick weirdo Mr. Chips!

  25. Visible

    Even without the Rihanna thing he is one of the ugliest men I have ever seen. WTF?!?

  26. larg

    I would just like to remind people that if we had a national healthcare system all these morons could be getting therapy, pills and counseling and potentially put in nutwards.

  27. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I know it’s just dumb machine made pop music, but she does look pretty fierce serving it up.

  28. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Black and blue…is Rihanna trying to make Chris Brown jealous?

  29. Deacon Jones

    I felt like I was at the zoo watching Chris Brown jump around on top of all those boxes, moving his lips and eyebrows up and down, pretending he could sing like a person.

    • Schmidtler

      Next awards show he’s just going with furiously masturbating while throwing his feces at the audience.

  30. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:


  31. Confusus

    Not all women presumably want Chris Brown to beat them; therefore not all women are stupid.

    But these women are fucking stupid.

  32. Rissa

    When I commit suicide, that link is going to be my note. Just that.

  33. 30 halfwits with violent daddy issues do not a fuckbox of dumb make.

  34. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Farley Fauctey
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, what’s up y’all? I’m Farrah Fawcett. I’m re-inventing myself as a white person. Just for now, as soon as someone notices I’m going right back to being Rhianna. Hey y’all let’s go surfing. I’m white just like you. I’m whiter than you.

  35. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Cosmic Greene
    Commented on this photo:

    Ladies and gentleman, Chelsea Handler!

  36. What did Chris Brown ever do to Goldie Hawn? Oh wait.

  37. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Pico Mornay
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok…You can start Kissing bitches…

  38. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s it…now, smell her a little.

  39. daisy

    chris brown went from WHAMMY to GRAMMY. wtf

  40. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Rhianna is really getting onto it. I like.

  41. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s be honest…Chris Brown punching out Rhianna was the best thing to ever happen to BOTH of them. Hardly anyone had heard either of their names prior, and now both are famous as all punch-out.

    Now Rhianna gets to play the victim-sympathy card, and all Chris has to do is show some remorse and say he’s learned from his mistakes, and all is forgiven.

    Keep in mind this is the same fame industry that didn’t give a shit that Roman Polanski sodomized a drugged child, so a cheek bruise doesn’t even rate.

  42. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s fucking gorgeous

  43. cc

    Those tweets make those women fuckboxes of dumb (FBoD).

    What makes America a FBoD is the fact that the arts and entertainment industry sees fit to nominate a guy who beats the shit out of his girlfriend for an award, selects him as the winner of that award, and then applauds vigorously while he accepts the award and during his performance. What further makes America a FBoD is that the populace is so fucking stupid that the industry knows they can do this and it will hardly bother anyone.

    And I will also call out the arts and entertainment crowd for their hypocrisy. Collectively they lean toward the left of the political spectrum (as do I on SOME issues); you can be damn sure that if it was revealed a politician had beaten the shit out of their wife or girlfriend, complete with pictures of her battered face, they’d be baying like wolves to have them run out of office.

    • The Fine Arts

      Only whitey will get run out of office. See, you don’t get it. It’s not about politics, it’s not about relegion and it’s not about sex. It’s about race, in every aspect you can possibly imagine it is all about race. You saw black people leading a group of white people in support of a black man.

      You might not understand because you haven’t experienced the world completely enough. Hatred and bias are a stronger power than God, Politics and Sexual orientation combined.

      Check the map Asia is full of Asians. the mid east is full of middle easterners, Africa is full of Africans and South America is full of South America. They all have one combined common enemy, the white man. United they stand and it is the most powerful force on this planet.

      You’ve already lost. They have you convinced not to buy products made by a white man, they have you convinced not to listen to music made by a white man, they have you convinced the religion of the white man is evil and they have you convinced the seed of the white wants to be anything but.

      It’s not about Democrats or Republicans instead it’s about Whitey being replaced.

      If you traveled outside of your house and state you would find a ghost land of what was once a striving country. Cities lay wasted, over-run by immigrants who were once criminals in their own countries. America has become toxic to the white man, he’s being removed from his bed and pushed into obscurity.

      • Frankw

        WRONG. There is only one color. GREEN. If you have it, you can be any race and be in the club. You’re fooling yourself if you believe it’s about race anymore…

      • The Fine Arts

        You’re part of the problem, you’re either lying about promoting ignorance or you’re simply ignorant to the control others have over you. The illusion of freedom you have learned to groom is choking you and your offspring.

        The Second Amendment to the United States Constitution states the government nor her interests will not prohibit you from arming yourself as a citizen in good standing. On September 11th 2001 men took control of several aircraft throughout the United states by force. They were able to do this because your rights as a citizen have been stripped from you. Your lack of rights as a human being are taken from you more and more every day.

        None of it matters, you’re too far gone into a delusional state of servitude. You’re only desire is to the do the bidding the machine demands of you. You’re controlled, sedated and used until there is nothing left but a response mechanism. It wasn’t difficult, after all humans have needs and are weak.

        The criminals have caught on to how easily you’re controlled, as well as enemies of the state. CNN feeds your fears 24 hours a day, steering you to do exactly what they need done. You’re half right, Ted Turner doesn’t care what color you are but Ted Turner is also a raving mad man. Racism in America is powered by your neighbor or maybe the guy at work who seems all to friendly, not by some corporate idiot.

        This country is finished and not at all too soon, just enough time left to push a few buttons and take everyone with us.

      • Frank Burns

        Boring! Write up a Cliff Notes version please (not gonna read them, but it will keep from posting for a while).

    • Amen, Frankw. Warren Beatty says it in “Bulworth”…

      “Rich people have always stayed on top by dividing white people from colored people/ but white people got more in common with colored people then they do with rich people…”

      • The Fine Arts

        Your enemy is the white man, his wealth is your excuse to hate him. He built roads, houses, hospitals, he instituted power stations and created education systems. All while you were still in the forest catching fish with nets by hand. Your life was comfortable, your environment didn’t hasten your ability for complex problem solving.

        The white man needed to learn how to create elaborate shelters while you were fine sleeping in a hammock. You understand this and you’re reminded of it overtime you switch on your light in your cozy living room. White man did that.

        Skyscrapers, the white man did that. The atomic bomb, white man did that. It’s been nearly 70 years since the white man detonated the first Atomic bomb. The mid east still struggle to get that done, hatred growing each day they fail.

        Hatred, it’s so widespread we consume it daily because it’s one of our few stimuli we think we’re supposed to enjoy. Drugs, easily accessible and one of our only sources of entertainment. Information, we’re fed a pre-programmed stream of lies and misinformation designed to persuade to continue searching the stream.

        Your freedom is an illusion taught to you in order to keep you pacified. Your free to perceive the white man as evil and are rewarded each time you express the extent of your conditioning.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        It was hard to masturbate to that post. But I did it.

        An homage. ;)

    • GrantK

      To that mad raving, the perfect climax

  44. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I promise, I wasn’t peeping your phone Rhianna. I’ll be a good girl.

  45. Bianca

    This really disturbs me so pardon me for the ranting that is about to occur. Many of these girls appear to be teens. Where are the parents? Do they not monitor their accounts? If I was a mother and saw that, oh my lord I would ground her for life and delete all her social media accounts. What is going on in these girls’ heads that this is something funny and cool to them? Are they lacking self-esteem? Desperate for attention? Ignorant? All 3?

    • Scriddle

      It’s all fake, the accounts are dummies maintained to promote. It’s advertising, a commercial. You could do it yourself and no one would know how or why.

      • Bianca

        Well I just googled 2 of them and they’re real accounts (real in that they belong to actual people who have been on for a while and have tweets that extend beyond this comment)

  46. Trek Girl

    This attitude was around before. It might be disturbing to hear it from people this young, but don’t be so naive as to think this is something that is new.

    • Frank Burns

      Someone needs to don a red security shirt and join an away team.

      • Trek Girl

        Ok, Frank Burns, let us try this again; read my initial comment, and think hard about what it said. Did I say that I agreed with them? No. What I’m saying is that this opinion has been around for a long time, and it probably won’t go away. It’s sad to see it with people this young, but it’s not new. Hopefully they will understand the gravitiy of the Rhianna and Chris Brown situation and exactly what was wrong with it, and never abuse or get abused themselves, but the she-must-have-deserved-it school of thought is not new at all.

  47. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    i think her eyes are her best feature. those, and her skin

  48. Rihanna Cleavage Grammy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s the big deal? I’d let Chris Brown beat me off, his arm is probably pretty strong from all the …. oh, you’re right: Those are horrible reactions to his grammy win.

  49. valerie

    yes, but what about trying to bite your ear off?

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