Let’s Not Throw Bottles At Rihanna Because She’s Dating Chris Brown Again Like An Idiot

February 19th, 2013 // 33 Comments
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In case you missed it while I was in a coma, some dude in London thought abusing Rihanna with a bottle would teach her a lesson about getting back together with the abusive Chris Brown. So basically the most well-thought plan you’ve ever heard of in your life. Via The New York Post:

Rihanna stumbled and fell into a grate, slicing open her leg. Her assailant yelled something about Brown before hurling the bottle of soft drink Lucozade at the star, the site reported.
Brown infamously beat up Rihanna in 2009, and fans have never forgiven him. Apparently some of that anger has spilled over to Rihanna, after her decision to get back together with the hothead last month.

Look, I’m no fan of Rihanna and Chris Brown getting back together, almost to the point of obsession, but throwing bottles at her isn’t how you solve problems. Unless, of course, the problem is trying to make her come then this is exactly how you solve it. You couldn’t be more on the right track.

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Rihanna Miniskirt Cara Delevingne Booty Shorts Box Nightclub
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like someone dressed for a Mayan Apocalypse that never arrived.

  2. How could you not hit her forehead? I generally assume anything thrown has a fair chance of hitting Rhianna in the forehead.

  3. Rihanna Miniskirt Cara Delevingne Booty Shorts Box Nightclub
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Photo next to be seen on Chris Brown’s Christmas card.

    • I wouldn’t even waste my Lucozade by throwing it at her. I paid money for that. She is worthless.

      And, thanks for the image of Rihanna cumming, Fish. That’s going to haunt my dreams for a month.

  4. Rihanna Miniskirt Cara Delevingne Booty Shorts Box Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s what they called “cutting her leg open”? I was expecting huge gash that would leave a permanent scar. Disappointed!

  5. While I think she’s an idiot, I think all of this attention might actually make her less likely to dump his ass if he does do something again, because she’ll be under too much pressure to prove this wasn’t a mistake.

  6. I didn’t realize NOT throwing bottles at Rihanna was an option. I have to re-evaluate my whole plan for interacting with her.

  7. Throwing bottles at her is like foreplay. She is probably dating her attacker on the side now.

  8. Rihanna Miniskirt Cara Delevingne Booty Shorts Box Nightclub
    Em
    Commented on this photo:

    Um, forehead. Lots and lots of forehead. Yeesh.

  9. schmidtler

    I’m confused by the article – did she fall into a grate on her own, and then the guy chucked the bottle at her, or did the bottle chucking send her into the grate? Also, where are the pictures of her falling into the grate, I want to see that! I hope it was a nasty sewer grate.

    • pavement_smear

      “Yeah, you’re a nasty sewer grate, aren’t you? A dirty, nasty little sewer grate. You take that knee, sewer grate, you know you want it…” :-/

  10. …Fuck’s sake—If this bitch likes her ass whooped from time to time who are any of you to deny her such guilty pleasures.

    Some females prefer heavy handed type of males–it take all kinds.

    Now please try to get over the fact that she’s fucking him and not any of you.

  11. FUCKBEAST

    Charlie Sheen, Hater, Kill Yourself, you shouldn’t judge, Rihanna forgave him, Black, White, Racist, God, Michael Jackson, 4 Years ago, Let it Go.

  12. inkydink

    slicing her leg open? looks like a little scrape to me. such drama.

  13. This is going to make her want to be with Chris Brown more. People should just ignore them.

  14. Rihanna Miniskirt Cara Delevingne Booty Shorts Box Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor Rihanna got a small slice on her leg. That’s TWO slices she’s got to which I would like at administer some assistance.

  15. Rihanna Miniskirt Cara Delevingne Booty Shorts Box Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    “So as not to offend any other attendees, Cara Delevingne pauses mid-stairway to violently break wind, thus alleviating some moderate gastric discomfort. That’s the story here in London. Now back to you…”

  16. Rihanna Miniskirt Cara Delevingne Booty Shorts Box Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, move it, I’m coming thru here…get the fuck out of my way. Please.”

  17. Rihanna Miniskirt Cara Delevingne Booty Shorts Box Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    Chris gets so pissed when she doesn’t clean up her blood immediately that this has become second nature. At least this time she can still see out of both eyes and she doesn’t have to clean his knuckles too.

  18. Rihanna Miniskirt Cara Delevingne Booty Shorts Box Nightclub
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    See, everyone knows giving her a blackeye puts you on the fast track to buttsex with Rhianna.

  19. Rihanna Miniskirt Cara Delevingne Booty Shorts Box Nightclub
    dhadd
    Commented on this photo:

    We can almost see her ‘Box’.

  20. Ripley's Believe It Or Not

    I think it’s more a case of this spectator can’t believe Chris Brown hasn’t killed her yet, and wanted to kick start the process.

  21. Rihanna Miniskirt Cara Delevingne Booty Shorts Box Nightclub
    Sandoucheky
    Commented on this photo:

    Waaaaaa I’m a baaaaby whaaaaa

  22. Rihanna Miniskirt Cara Delevingne Booty Shorts Box Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    hahahah what are this for ugly clothes,guess they cost more together than my car

  23. Rihanna Miniskirt Cara Delevingne Booty Shorts Box Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    10 year old boy

  24. Tom Cruise's Magical Penis

    Is there a caring, politically correct un-douchey way to say I don’t give a shit what happens to Rihanna at the hands of ANYONE, anymore?

  25. Rihanna Miniskirt Cara Delevingne Booty Shorts Box Nightclub
    Elz
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, she’s dumb for dating that arrogant asshole…again, but I don’t see how abusing her for dating an abuser is productive.

  26. Lucozade? Was the guy recovering from the flu? When he goes on a bender he drinks Lucozade-Nyquil mudslides.

  27. Rihanna Miniskirt Cara Delevingne Booty Shorts Box Nightclub
    momo
    Commented on this photo:

    super model?
    super model?
    bleh hehehehehhe

  28. Rihanna Miniskirt Cara Delevingne Booty Shorts Box Nightclub
    Cara Delevingne
    Commented on this photo:

    Who?

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