Rihanna Wants To Have A Kid With Chris Brown. Yup.

March 4th, 2013 // 25 Comments
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In the latest issue of Elle UK, Rihanna opens up about being a complete idiot that wants to bring a child into her relationship with Chris Brown. Because nothing keeps a violent psychopath calm and collected like a crying baby. They practically prefer it. Via NY Daily News:

“‘Stay’ is a story about having love that close and wanting it to last forever,” the “Diamonds” singer explained to the magazine, on newsstand March 6.
“You don’t have that feeling with everybody so when you have it you don’t want to let go of it. I would definitely say that he is the one I have that kind of relationship with,” she said of Brown.

“Now that we’re adults we can do this right. We got a fresh start and I’m thankful for that.”

In the not-so-distant future, the singer even hopes to start a family. When asked where she sees herself in five years, Rihanna said she imagines a more maternal role.
“I will probably have a kid,” Rihanna said. “And I’ll have to set some things up so I don’t have to tour for the rest of my life, even though I love touring.”

In Rihanna’s defense, it’s never not handy to have a human shield around. Case in point: Oksana Grigorieva would be dead right now if she didn’t have one to block Mel Gibson‘s fist. Which is probably why Rihanna should start popping fertility pills and shoot for multiples because has she actually met Chris Brown? I feel like that might be the problem here. “Ohhh, so he’s the guy that almost killed that chick in his car. Wait, why is the metal plate in my head tingling?”

Photos: Terry’s Diary


  1. jay

    If she wants to ruin her vag and bring another Chris Brown into this world, just goes to show.

  2. FattyFatty2X4

    Dat Baby would come of the uterus smokin a blunt

    • karlito

      and if it’s a boy he’ll grow up to be a woman beater like his father, or if it’s a girl she’ll grow up to be a victim who has no self worth just like mom.

  3. ThisWillHurt

    “I want our first child to be a boy, so I can name him ‘Chris Brown.’ That way, when Chris starts beating him (you guys know he does that, right?) I get to say ‘Hey, Chris! Why are you hitting yourself?’”

  4. Chris Brown

    PUNCH *splooge* PUNCH

  5. Inner Retard

    Oh, why not. I mean what difference does it make? The human genome is already under attack. The Moo Cow from Mordor is establishing a nest not even Ellen Ripley with a flamethrower could exterminate.

  6. Jeremy

    In all fairness, she probably just wants to get pregnant so she can feel something kick her from the inside.

  7. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, people told Nicole she shouldn’t marry O. J., but that turned out okay, I’m sure things will turn out great for Rihanna and Chris too.

  8. Juch

    I’d like to suggest the happy couple go a non-traditional route, and adopt UFC heavyweight champion Cain Velasquez as their very own baby boy! Then when Chris has a tantrum because mommy dared to ‘defy’ daddy, baby Cain can punch daddy so hard he has to be the one sucking his thumb and wearing diapers for the next six months.

  9. Drew

    The only thing more annoying than these 2 idiots, is watching bloggers circlejerk about it.

  10. From knocked out to knocked up. Ah, I shouldn’t give Brown song title ideas, should I.

  11. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    satan My Master
    Commented on this photo:

    Ice-T’s stunt double.

  12. I don’t see any possible way this could end badly. What about you guys?

  13. MLynn

    Well of course she does. What does a dysfunctional relationship need more than to bring an innocent child into it. What a moron she is.

  14. I’ve never wished harder for a murder-suicide.

  15. This headline proves something I learned years ago; most showbiz women are nowhere NEAR having a full deck.

  16. What a stupid bitch.

  17. At least someone in the house will know how to beat the kids when they get out of line.

  18. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to ravage her butthole.

  19. What an idiot

    “Look at mah titties”

    What a cocktease; she’s definitely playing up the “I’m a slut” angle. She should just strip and bend over; let’s get it over with already…

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