Return of The Most Important People On The Internet

May 10th, 2014 // 38 Comments

As prophesied in the books of old, The Most Important People on The Internet has returned now that the FreckleTits have perished and Dem Babies have been offered as a sacrifice to the Terry of Uncles. Let us drink thirstily from its cup as it runneth over with jokes about Jon Hamm‘s penis and quotes from Tim Burton‘s Batman. Heil Baphomet, may he reign upon the land of cheese for a thousand years. (Did this put me on an Illuminati watch list yet? I made New Year’s Resolutions, dammit.)

EDIT: Almost forgot I had this gem marinating on the shelf:

Kate Middleton

“The beat spun back, and the song snapped again into its primal drum beat. Her body relaxed. She loved the feeling and thoughts the music drew forth. To have lived this long without knowing it shortened her breath, and for a moment, the sting of ignorance and captivity bit her heart. But today was here and limitless, as were all those that followed. The beat was hers to master, or perhaps it would master her. It didn’t matter. Once she slit the throat of the DJ with her queen’s blade for daring to touch the royal hand, she would take the music for her own.”

Said Gilberator on The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 4.23.14

superficial

  1. Jon Hamm Hugh Jackman
    Commented on this photo:

    Awesome.

  2. Fred Durst
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL!

  3. Samuel L Jackson Pissed Off Look Talking To Reporter 7th Annual George Lopez Celebrity Golf Classic
    Commented on this photo:

    Love it!

  4. Meghan McCain Cleavage John McCain 100th Annual White House Correspondents Dinner
    Commented on this photo:

    Mmmm. Coco.

  5. Sara Malakul Lane Swimsuit Construction Site Photo Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice.

  6. Angela Big Ang Raiola Erect Nipples Through Leather Top
    Commented on this photo:

    A Coco themed MIPOTI. What more can I ask for?

  7. Steven Tyler Bending Over 21st Annual Race To Erase MS Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL!

  8. Selena Gomez Cleavage MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    This is my favourite so far.

  9. Julia Louis Dreyfus Having Sex With Clown
    Commented on this photo:

    Wrong spelling of “cum” but still fucking brilliant!

  10. Selena Gomez Cleavage MET Gala
    Marketing Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    I agree. But she’s been hanging out with the Kardashians,
    shouldn’t that muff be black? I’m confused.

  11. V. Stiviano
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    i am darth vader and i come from the planet krypton.

  12. David Hasselhoff The Media Convention Opening
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    you know how they have those ronald macdonald statues on those benches at macdonalds?
    < this.

  13. Kate Middleton DJ Northern Sound System Adelaide Australia
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    my word!!

  14. Meghan McCain Cleavage John McCain 100th Annual White House Correspondents Dinner
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    McFeely understands how the typical SW visitor processes information.

  15. Selena Gomez Cleavage MET Gala
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Love it when Iveski gets dirty.

  16. Julia Louis Dreyfus Having Sex With Clown
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank U. Comedy justice is served.

  17. Kristen Johnson
    Commented on this photo:

    This was the best one from TCWM yesterday. Hilarious.

  18. Julia Louis Dreyfus Having Sex With Clown
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh yeah, that’s my g-spot!”
    *honks bicycle horn*
    “Be careful, I’m a squirter!”
    *sprays seltzer water*

    I can do this all day, people.

  19. Selena Gomez Cleavage MET Gala
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    well played sir!

  20. David Hasselhoff The Media Convention Opening
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    The problem is that there’s nothing that can make this picture funnier.

  21. Julia Louis Dreyfus Having Sex With Clown
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    does a 50-man gangbang and they all show up in one volkswagen

  22. Kristen Johnson
    Johnny Barbells
    Commented on this photo:

    …sometimes i’m not laughing at the comment itself, sometimes i’m laughing at the fact that this is the one that made you laugh.

  23. Steven Tyler Bending Over 21st Annual Race To Erase MS Gala
    Johnny Barbells
    Commented on this photo:

    …how the fuck did i miss this …fucking hilarious!!!

  24. Angela Big Ang Raiola Erect Nipples Through Leather Top
    Lara
    Commented on this photo:

    oh, it’s Myla Sigaj the Kim K wannabe

    • Mylia Sinaj’s real name:

      Fatmire.

      Don’t take my word for it, google it.

      • and damn. ” Myla Sinanaj” (her new fake name) is also her porn name. In a development that depresses me, she aped (?) Kim Kardashian in every way. First, the plastic surgery to look like her, then she fashioned a sex tape in her image. It’s sad, not stroke worthy, and ultimately depressing.

  25. Selena Gomez Cleavage MET Gala
    Buffy
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does she have a white, angora cat wrapped around her paws?

  26. V. Stiviano
    Trevi
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if she’s bought up all the giant visors in all of LA cause it sure looks like it.

  27. Sara Malakul Lane Swimsuit Construction Site Photo Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    How did I miss this one? This is a great photo!

  28. Selena Gomez Cleavage MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Iveski is so nasty. Funny, but nasty.

  29. Kate Middleton DJ Northern Sound System Adelaide Australia
    Commented on this photo:

    Amen!

  30. Steven Tyler Bending Over 21st Annual Race To Erase MS Gala
    Redeemer
    Commented on this photo:

    Winner.

  31. Julia Louis Dreyfus Having Sex With Clown
    Commented on this photo:

    “Jerry said you’re born funny or your not, it doesn’t work like that.”

  32. Angela Big Ang Raiola Erect Nipples Through Leather Top
    Commented on this photo:

    good one.

Leave A Comment