October 17th, 2010 // 245 Comments
Ben Roethlisberger

(WARNING: What’s about to happen here is tantamount to walking into a cathedral and urinating in the holy water. In fact, it might even be worse than that considering if one was forced to choose the most dominant and pervasive religion in America, it’d literally come down to a coin toss between Christianity and the NFL that would leave even the Pope saying, “I’sa a don’ta knowa!” Which would be weird considering all that time he grew up in Germany and used to be a Nazi. Anyway…)

As I’m writing this, the Pittsburgh vs. Cleveland game heralding the return of Ben Roethlisberger after a four game suspension, he was reportedly greeted with a loud ovation, just started the second half – and I haven’t watched a single play. Mostly this has to do with the local CBS affiliate’s practice of airing the Baltimore Ravens despite being a Pennsylvania station. (You picked the wrong building, James Lee. — Too soon?) But as I’ve chronicled on Facebook, I’m having trouble getting it up this season for the Steelers which makes every single Cialis commercial feel like it’s aimed directly at me.

The problem? My quarterback’s a rapist. I’m sorry, “alleged rapist.”

If The Superficial is about anything, it’s about calling out celebrities and running counter-culture to the media machine and hero worship of people, just like you and I, who happen to have a lot more money and/or ridiculously good looks. (See: Blake Lively from the neck down.) It’d be disingenuous of me, or anyone, to sit here and demand Lindsay Lohan rot in a jail cell so she’ll stop snorting mountains of cocaine and running over strollers, only to turn around and give Ben Roethlisberger a pass because he throws a piece of leather with incredible precision. Granted, there’s no definitive account of what happen that night in Georgia, or the first alleged rape, it’s no secret large amounts of cash exchanged hands to keep both voices silent. Some might say this speaks to the truth of these women’s allegations, but I’d counter by saying I don’t think of any of us would know how to react should a life-changing amount of money present itself to us. Would you choose the gauntlet of the press or having all your financial hopes and dreams instantly satisfied? Regardless, something happened. Twice.

Now, here’s where I begin to take issue, especially with women and fathers with daughters: The mental gymnastics.

“Those girls had it coming. Twice.”
“They were just after his money. Twice.”

It was once said Kobe Bryant would be “judged on the court.” You think guys like Ben Roethlisberger don’t know that? You think they don’t realize in the back of their head they simply have to move a ball down a field to satisfy an entire audience horfing down beer and nachos? They can do whatever they want, and you will forgive them. Because of a game.

I understand this entire post is anathema to a sacred institution – if not the very core of our nation – not to mention overly serious for a site laden with penis jokes and whatever the hell this is, but there comes a time when I have to call out the bullshit even if it costs me an entire season of enjoyable Sunday afternoons. I simply cannot root for a man who’d be in jail right now if he wasn’t practically Jesus in that pocket. Not to mention, the Steelers weren’t doing too bad without him, and it was Jeff Reed who cost us the Baltimore game because he forgot to pretend the opposing team consisted entirely of Sheetz paper towel dispensers: His mortal enemy.

Sorry for such a long-winded rant, but for the sake of full disclosure, I should probably point out I bought the new Linkin Park CD. So, really, at the end of the day, what do I know? — That’s actually a legitimate question. Who the hell does that?

See you Monday.

UPDATE: Congratulations, you beat the Browns. In related news, I won a foot race against a paraplegic once. (Was that necessary? Probably.)

Photo: Getty


  1. Jon "Bigot" Stewart

    ooooooohhh wow thats powerful stuff

    yeh you are a modern revolutionary

  2. rachel

    amen, dude.

  3. Hemingway

    Well put.

  4. imagen

    I love that you are, or maybe, were a Steelers fan. Marry me?

  5. Megan

    Couldn’t agree more. We used to see him trolling around the Pitt campus looking for girls, looking like a total douchebag. Some things never change.

    • Staci

      I’m sure he was trolling. And I’m also sure a bunch of beat ass Pitt chicks were right there ready & willing when he snapped his fingers too.

      • Megan

        Couldn’t tell you. The ones I knew laughed and thought he was an idiot. We weren’t all “beat ass”

    • refried

      Come on now Megan. I’ve been to the Pitt campus. The girls there are about two nipple whiskers ahead of WVU’s slag hags.

  6. Staci

    You think those women didn’t know who he was or how much money he has? One was a part of a bachelorette party wearing a “Hello, My Name Is ‘DTF’” aka Down to Fuck nametag at the bar where she “allegedly” had sex with Ben in the bathroom.
    So no, I don’t believe they were asking for it because I don’t believe they were raped or taken advantage of in any way. They just sound like your typical star fuckers to me.


    • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

      Now this is a girl I could take home to mother!

      • mike's a fucktard

        you mean the fugly one who’s bitter that she can’t even get play from a rapist?

        the fugly ones are easy to point out, they always say the exact same shit…

    • Amy

      While I would normally agree with you, you can’t assume he *couldn’t* have raped these women simply because he has money.

      • mike's a fucktard

        well of course not.. people who make money or are otherwise famous can’t actually commit crimes. that was hitler’s mistake.. if he played soccer or something he could have gotten away with it. ;]

    • yatz

      Yeah, maybe this girl wanted to fuck a star. That doesn’t mean she has no right to change her mind after it gets on. Frustrating as it is – yeah, I’ve been there – when the girl says “stop, I don’t want to do this”, you fucking STOP. Most of us would – but, then again, most of us are NOT 260-pounds fugly douchbags who employ off-duty state troopers as bodyguards to stop our helpless date’s friends from coming to her help.
      I’m not a Steelers’ fan, but I’ve always had great admiration for this team and organization. No more.

      • Brooke

        Well put. When a girl says “stop”, you gotta stop. Even if it sucks. A few years back, I was one of those girls who would tell a guy “Whoa, I’m sobering up, maybe we should stop” or “What do you mean you don’t have a condom? OUT!!”, and I’m grateful that the guys who could have overpowered me didn’t, and the guys who did try to keep going were light enough to kick off. We have our reasons, and though we may make bonehead decisions, a guy needs to respect the almighty “No”. I don’t care how famous he is or how rich he is, no means no.

      • jeffG

        Dont Kanye me! You have to let me finish.

    • bitchhater

      staci (surprised it’s not spelled staysee!?) seems very ethnic? staci seems like the type that would go “all al sharpton” had the alleged victim been black!

  7. Jennifer

    Word my brotha. Fuck that asshole with a rusty crowbar.

  8. steelersSUCK

    hahahahaha, suck it steelers fan. ravens are the better team. GO RAVENS

  9. habeas kickass

    Good for you for writing this. It’ll piss people off and undoubtedly turn into a forum about the relative merits of the Steelers or the Ravens (oh wait, it already has) but it’s great to see someone speaking out.

    PS. Kobe was guilty too.

  10. Guy Rossi


  11. FattyFatty2X4

    well said, Dookie Howser.
    I have to root for Favre and his itsy bitsy shriveled peen up where I’m at.
    We can get thru this together. Stay strong.

  12. Jimmy Fury

    wait…You bought a linkin park cd?
    ew… fish. no.

  13. Ian

    Where in the burgh are you from/located?

  14. Gary B

    My team is the Lions, so your quarterback just SUCKS.

  15. Chris

    I can see where you’re coming from as a fellow Steelers die-hard, yeah. I root for the team, though, and not for individuals. Man does something great, great, but its about the team in the end. And nobody throws away a huge business investment, no matter how “morally incorruptible” we like to pretend we are.

    Shitty that he may have done it, shitty if he didn’t, not going to really pull the trigger on that one. Feel the same way about Favre’s sexting. Only up to me to root for or against a dude, and that’s what I plan to do. Anyone who claims I support rape should look into who they pay their taxes to and consider all the awful shit they “support,” or lay off and know for a fact that my support has nothing to do with a man’s awful personality problems and perhaps truly fucked up moral convictions.

    Anyhow, good to know you’re form the Burgh/Western PA. Gotta represent. How ’bout dem Pens, too? Could use a few more Comrie posts, even if they are to show off his damn sexy wife.

  16. Drundel

    Not that I give a rats ass about the no fun league (the real games are played on Saturday) but I got to believe the girls are “star fuckers” (nicely put Staci) and just wanted to say they banged him and/or wanted a pay off.

  17. Citizen Kane

    I’ve know about Ben’s douchebaggery since he came with the rest of the team doing events at local highschools. Did he rape those girls? Who knows. Did they get what they were looking for (Money)? Probably. I mean, I’d probably say he raped me too… wait…

    • Tits McGhee

      I met Big Ben over the summer. He was extremely nice. If anything, these situations might have shown him that he needs to not be a douchetool. Regardless, I have nothing but positive things to say about him. He couldn’t have been nicer to us!

  18. Sommar

    Thank you for writing that.

  19. Lady Blah Blah

    Great essay, knew you had it in you. You’re what makes The Superficial in a whole other class than sites that on the surface seem similar.

    • Chris

      Totally agree.

    • Kate

      Agreed. I’m not even American so I don’t know the whole backstory here, but I loved this post. It seems like we have an almost identical situation a few times a year here in Australia, and the blind allegiance to the burly idiots who can kick a football is so disheartening. Thanks for writing this!

      • somethingoriginal

        and a lot of other comments here prove why we’re so appreciative of you writing this Fish. as Kate said, happens far too much in here in Aus and even if one club takes a stand, another snaps the players up and they become heroes again.
        it still annoys me that the world was more outraged by tyson biting an ear than serving time for rape. lucky he does such hilariously bad renditions of genesis songs.

  20. Just Sayin

    Shame on you “victim blamers”. You’re the reason why so many rapists get away with it.

    p.s. Thanks for writing this.

  21. starbucks barista

    thanks for that, eloquent

  22. Notsofast...

    Seriously, who gives a F**K about these clowns anyway…pro football players are not role models or heroes, they’re overpaid chubby men playing something like 10 minutes and 50 seconds (so says a Wall St Journal article) of a 60 minute game, subsidized by the lemmings that pay to watch. Wake up people, show a little pride and self respect…

  23. Bigwiggity Boo

    Long time follower, first time commenter & i gotta say: thank you. There needs to be more people in the pop-culture sphere willing to say these things.

  24. Mike

    Maybe you should stop watching football altogether. Between the gossip rag and the sensitive vagina, you are not really suited for man’s sports. Because men can separate somebody’s performance in the sport from the gossip bullshit and you obviously need to want to hold hands with them to enjoy their performance, which officially makes you a little girl.

    • I hate mike

      Poor mike, daddy-limp-dick never taught his little cunt the difference between right and wrong. Rapistberger is a non-man. A subhuman deserving of being eradicated for abusing women.

    • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

      Gotta say it – amen. He just made you his bitch Fish. Don’t come crying to my cell…

    • I actually gotta give Mike credit for being first on this one. Somebody had to come on here and look like an idiot by essentially calling me a “faggot” for not just sitting in front of the TV, stuffing my piehole and watching the pretty colors. The rest of you just sat there, weighing the consequences of your actions like rational adults while Mike charged right in, dumb guns blazing.

      Kudos, sir. Kudos.

    • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

      Wow – how ironic. Amy uses the BUKKAKED on a post dedicated to preserving the honor of women and respecting them for the beautiful creatures they are (Uhh not so fast Snooki) …

      Am I the only one who sees the irony here?

      • drew

        um. because only women have their faces cummed on. not shit tons of gay dudes as well.

        you. are dumb.

      • Amy

        First of all…you’re looking to much into the definition of bukkake. It’s kind of like me calling you a bitch or a fag and you getting all upset because I likened you to a dog or cigarette. Bukkake. It can happen to anyone.

        Second of all, this is obviously not a site dedicated to preserving the honor of anyone. Fish just doesn’t see the reasoning behind cheering someone that most likely committed some serious crimes. Not once…but twice. Plus, even if you believe he’s innocent, why does he deserve a standing o? He doesn’t.

      • Amy

        Yeah dude…bukkake can happen to anyone. And it happened to you.

      • Amy

        Oh, and this site doesn’t preserve the honor of anyone. We just don’t celebrate rapists. Or alleged rapists (twice). Or scumbags in general (see your snooki comment).

      • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

        Hey sorry drew – I don’t frequent those sites so I do have to confess to a limited bukkake knowledge. I’ll have to take your word for it….and Gavin Rossdale’s….

      • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

        I said POST you half wit NOT SITE. There is a difference – albeit obviously subtle to a dumbshit like you.

      • TOHITJ, there are women who are bedpost notchers for athletes. Given. And since women should have sexual freedom as well as men, there’s not much wrong with that. Where you and the rest of the hooting knuckledraggers go wrong is assuming that since every athlete is up to his ass in pussy, there’s no way any of ‘em would ever need to resort to rape. That basic assumption that no man that surrounded by it, and certainly NEVER a pro QB you might admire, might only get his rocks off by forcing women to fuck him is massively flawed.

        This is Big Ben’s THIRD charge of sexual assault. And most men, when they’re with a woman who’s already drunk, don’t find feeding her more shots to be particularly productive unless they know they’ve got something in mind for her that she might not want to do. So either he’s got a deliberately flatline learning curve when it comes to predatory women gunning for him or he’s not about to stop doing what turns him on. So, tell me again why other NFL QB’s aren’t having this problem as well? Really, it seems like he’s using up two other guys’ criminal charges, right?

        And yeah, if you’re a woman in a setup like that getting drunk is stupid. But being stupid doesn’t mean you “deserve” to be assaulted (see, I can see your next argument coming).

        So when I see a pattern of payoffs and dropped prosecutions like this, Michael Jackson springs to mind. His had his brain-dead defenders, too. So I figure at this point you’re probably knee-jerk enough to start thrashing about in your La-Z-Boy while frothing at the mouth yelling “Peter Pan! He just liked sleeping with innocent children to regain his childhood! He was targeted! It was a setup!” Right? Because only a “man” like you could deal with separating performance from mere gossip and enjoy MJ for the wonder he was.

        Or am I the only one who sees the irony here?

      • Sorry, my post is for Mike. But since TOHITJ is sitting on his lap like a ventriloquist’s dummy, that’s one crowded La-Z-Boy, guys.

      • LS

        Um, no, not ironic.

        The post is about rape, which is the lack of *consent*.

        Rape isn’t an attack on a woman’s “honor” it’s a physical attack on her person.

        Your post smacks of an attitude where sex ruins and dirties women, and that’s the same sort of bullshit that contributes to rape culture.

    • redliver

      @justifiable – you’re right… rape is about power not just sex. maybe he needed to feel like god and being QB wasn’t doing it for him.

      • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

        Hey Justifiable – I’ll type slow because you strike me as someone too stupid to actually comprehend what you’re reading – RE READ MY POSTS and tell me where I said anything – ANYTHING! – that in some way shape or form justified Ben R’s ALLEGED actions: My posts spoke to my being tired of these ‘cases’ being adjudicated via a WALLET rather than a CRIMINAL COURTROOM.

        I believe all victims everywhere are shortchanged when money replaces a jury verdict. IN FACT dumbass: ANY WOMAN is actually facilitating this kind of horrendous behavior by putting a dollar figure on her pain and suffering to the EXCLUSION of taking the rat bastard to court. Can I make it any clearer?

        If you consistently try to find justice via the Gloria Allreds of this world you are trivializing the horror that is rape and sexual assault. I’ll say it again: There is not enough $$$$$$$$$$ in the world to offset what these men ALLEGEDLY did to women.

        I have to use the word allegedly – unfortunately – because if this becomes all about a financial transaction then I’m afraid that his – and all celebrities – money does trump all. If you accept money in place of your (and the government’s!) day in court then you’ve had your say and here’s hoping the money buys you peace of mind and a great life lesson.

        I strongly believe there should be legislation in place – just like with spousal abuse – that the call no longer belongs to the abused spouse but to the justice system. If there is an accusation of assault/rape let it play out in the criminal courts FIRST and then let’s get down to the dollars and cents. If not then I’m afraid the credibility of both sides is always up for grabs.

        Couple of other comments for you dumbass: Don’t presume to think I am not sensitive to women’s rights. I just happen to believe that true scum like Gloria Allred have set back the cause of women by leaps and bounds. That hardly makes me a rapist apologist. Secondly – you miserable fuck: Don’t ever accuse me of being a Michael Jackson apologist. My wife is a social worker and I’ve heard more horror stories about (sexually) abused children than can fill the pages of this website. I hope Mr Jackson is burning in hell as we speak.

        Lastly – what’s up with the whole La- Z – Boy bit….? Did you have a bad experience at some point?

      • When you gloat that Mike made the Fish “his bitch” when mike claims he has “a sensitive vagina” and shouldn’t be watching “men’s sports” because he not separating the performance of the athlete on and off the grid makes him a “litle girl”, don’t try and pass THAT off as righteous indignation. Amen, my ass. I don’t see anything there speaking to your disgust of the charges being spent under the carpet so that the game can still be played. Jackson also had a pattern of paying off his accusers in a similar fashion so he could go on being Peter Pan to his cheering and adoring fans. If you’re sickened and disgusted by the comparison, reconsider what it is that you’re endorsing in the first place and save usall the come-lately moral outrage.

        And because when a big-ticket guy like this is the person being charged, and because of what victims of a crime like this could have to endure in terms of futher humiliation, your concept that the state should be legally compelled to prosecute rape – with the victim equally legally compelled to comply with a forced prosecution – would actually mean far fewer actual rapes would be reported. Women would think twice about coming forth to report sexual assaults knowing what was awaiting them. Ask your wife to refer you to anyone who’s worked with rape victims and you’ll get an educational earful about what a day in court can really be like for them – and that, mind you, without all the NFL money propping up the defense. But really great idea to make the victim the one who’d be on the legal hook – stupendous. Please, don’t come up any more bright ideas. And I referred to the La-Z-Boy because it’s where you and mike can both park your lazy ass brains.

        The ones who’re trivializing sexual assault are the ones who cheered Roethlisberger today, as well as jerks like mike and whoever’s lame enough to say “amen” to his remarks. Oh wait, that was you, wasn’t it?

  25. Just Sayin

    Wow Mike, how old are you? 12? You just called someone a “little girl” as an insult. Next, you’re going to be giving him a wedgie in the middle school bathroom.

  26. dethkind

    great post. thanks for that…

  27. Maggie

    This is why I like this blog and can’t understand why you affiliate with drunkenstepfather.

    Guilty or not, how is a standing ovation appropriate?

    Back when R. Kelly was on trial for taping himself having sex with a minor he got a standing ovation at some award show and I remember thinking I hope I’m never victimized like that by a celebrity because no one would have my back.

    It’s your site and you can write whatever you want, so why the apologies?

    • Boomer

      I agree, The Superficial is too high-quality (no, seriously) to have links to DrunkenStepfather. That site comes across as really woman-hating and actually rather scary. Fish, you’ll still have plenty of entertaining links without that one!

      • mr. monkeybottoms

        SO VEY AGREE. Oh man I hate Drunken Stepfather. I never click on the links to that crappy site. It’s never made me laugh once and I laugh at EVERYTHING.

    • Kat

      I second (or third) that!

    • Brooke

      YES. Yes to this comment– I never understood why he affiliates with Drunken Stepfather. That site has zero quality and the guy writing for it is a serious douche. Whereas I don’t ACTUALLY think Fish has 100 illegitimate kids running around and that he throws dollar bills at non-strippers, etc etc, I actually think Drunken Stepfather’s writer IS that guy. The one complaint I ever made to Fish was that affiliation.

  28. Jon and Kate plus Hate

    What is so shocking is the lack of game this dude has. He has been a star quarterback his whole life. Isn’t that like a free golden ticket for pussy for life? Also the way he seems to do it and like it, quick, abusive, and dirty, isn’t that what prostitutes are for? For a small up front fee you pay the prostitute to shut up and leave afterwords. This guy is way short of smart and I do believe he is a menace to society just because he is too stupid to be alive. Also the bar that erased the video and the cops that shielded him in the Georgia case should all be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

    • Amy

      He’s been famous for so long, he probably can’t stand to be rejected. When these women flirted and backed off, he couldn’t handle it. That’s just what I’m guessing anyway. Otherwise, as you said, he would have just gotten a prostitute.

    • Amazingly enough, prostitutes don’t enjoy being abused or raped either. They’d paid for sex (not to “shut up and leave afterwards”) and being abused isn’t usually included in the price unless that’s that person’s specialty. Of course, for some guys, forcing them when they’re not really being coerced since that’s what they traffic in ruins the whole thing.

      • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

        I bow to your greater knowledge of prostitutes….and La-Z-Boy recliners.

      • Nope, that’d be Charlie Sheen who has that knowledge and experience. I’m actually stereotyping you for a La-Z-Boy userbased on the fact that you don’t seem to have much real-world knowledge of any kind – so I’m assuming most of your life’s spent in front of the tube. But, based on your limited knowledge of just about everything to do with this subject, I figure your TV viewing doesn’t include much in the way of shows dealing with the criminal justice system, psychology or much of anything to do with male/female relationships, so anything you park your butt on wiill be without any sophistication whatsoever.

        So look, if you want to exclusively watch “Monster Garage” and reruns of “The Hills” nonstop and find that a fulfilling life, more power. Nothing wrong with Heidi’s tits and hemis if that’s how you roll. Just don’t try to post outside that subject matter because you’ll just continue to embarass yourself.

    • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

      Brilliant strategy Justify -
      IGNORE my response and again go on some meaningless thoughtless rant -

      Here again I will have to bow to your greater knowledge of all things television and uhh…La Z Boys….and Charlie Sheen. .

      You sir are a certifiable genius. And congrats on ignoring any hint of apology for your slander of my position on this subject as noted above. When can I catch your act on The View?

    • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

      Oh geez Justify I just realized that you think watching a few episodes of American Justice with Bill Kurtis makes you a potential Supreme Court appointee… Good grief: My bad.

      • *sigh* Slander is defamation by utterance, libel is written. And since your “position” so far has been to second mike’s drivel and then backpedal and fill by claiming you stand for something else entirely, dream on.

      • shirleytemple

        I love how you guys are even bothering to argue with some asshat whose only claim to superiority is being “hetero” rather than gay.

        oh “The ONLY Hetero in this Joint,” how superior you are. I wish I were a “hetero” like you too. the weather must be fine in hetero-land… sigh.

  29. Heather

    I completely agree. Thanks for this.

  30. The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

    FISH – gotta call you out on this one – and by the fucking way – first we get the political rant then we get the gay rant and now we get this rant? F me pal – I want a daily dose of Heidi’s tits mixed with a hearty dose of upskirt shots and LiLo court appearances (Which has more eBay value? A Mickey Mouse Cel or a Lilo court appearance sketch….autographed by Michael Lohan??)

    Instead it’s come to this? I’ll tell you what: I’d have a LOT more respect for this process IF the girls in these siutations didn’t take the $$$. Sorry but if I were wronged to the degree girls like these obviously were, there wouldn’t be enough money in the world to dissaude me from going after a sleeze like this. But – of course – there always is enough money isn’t there, Fish? In a way these gals are very much like the professional athletes they get ensnared with – there actually is ALWAYS a dollar figure that will help appease and send these folks back into anonymity. It’s like the old joke: “We’ve already established what you are, now we’re just arguing about the price…”

    Sorry Fish but my compassion meter is at zero for all sides in this kind of crap – After the 4000th Gloria Allred news conference I just figure that this has all become an actual alternative to real life – Like being a Kardashian or writing The Superficial… In other words: The Fix is in.

    Nice pledge to boycott though…Personally I’m still boycotting Al Gore until he admits he likes a “happy ending’ with his massages.

    • mike's a fucktard

      do you really think it was all about the money? money buys all kinds of people, including the kind of people that could literally destroy all semblance of your life if you didn’t just shut the fuck up and go away.. while i’m not saying this isn’t what happened here, it doesn’t exactly take a stretch of the imagination to see the possibility.

      • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

        Now listen up dopey – don’t go all pontificating ninny on me: I AM NOT SAYING THAT THESE SITUATIONS ARE SETUPS designed to pursue payoffs. I am saying that as soon as I see Gloria Allred or see $$$ change hands before a criminal trial – then everything that came before is a moot point. In lieu of prison then apparently MONEY and the exchange of it is how justice is dispensed in these matters. IF it were MY daughter? I wouldn’t take one red cent. I’d live for the day when the guy was serving time in a jail cell next to Scott Peterson.

        But for some – apparently money IS justice. If that’s the case then these guys have “done their time” and don’t owe the community squat.

        And please stop with the “They can ruin your life” routine – now you’re equating these dudes with mobbed up guys who can ‘rub someone out’…please: THAT is overwrought by a long stretch…

      • I hate the only hetero (homo)

        Rapistberger has a history of being a moron. Great quarterback but a sorry excuse for a human being. How anyone defends these criminals is beyond me. Unless you are just as pathological as your name seems to indicate. I would imagine you are also a Sarah Palin fan?

    • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

      BTW – BEWARE the writer (FISH!) who starts his post by saying he’s “pissing in the Holy Water” That’s just lame Fish – it’s an unnecessary writer’s conceit that is basically all about this: “Look at me people! Look at me! I’m brave! I’m bold! I’m like Superman with a Dell!”

      Come on Fish – you and I BOTH know that you get the “bold tag” from the reader – Whether or not your post is brave – leave THAT to the guy or gal reading it to decide…

      Frankly I didn’t see anything bold about your post. Instead I found it all too obvious. “Yes: Look at me: I’m writing that forcing a woman into a sexual encounter is bad and I’m not going to root for this bad person…”

      Well no shit Fish. A BOLD statement here would have been about the slippery slope the NFL Commish is on by legislating morality in this Godforsaken league. As we can now clearly see: The Commish is in a total jam with one Brett Favre – with the clock ticking on the season they HAVE to rush an investigation and get a suspension passed down tout sweet. Otherwise Mr Favre walks away with nary a worry (How doyou suspend a retired player?! Take away his sideline pass??)

    • mike's a fucktard

      if it were my daughter i’d be awaiting trial, and he’d be dead.. but that’s beside the point

      as for the mob reference, are you retarded? threatening death isn’t the only way to inspire a “guess i should just take this and get the fuck out” mentality in a person .. the legal team afforded to him via his paycheck and ties to the nfl could keep a case tied up in court for eternity. during this time her reputation, as well as anyone who would have spoken on her behalf, would have been dragged thru the mud. she would be facing ridiculous legal fees during the duration of this as well. for someone not making millions doing nothing, this isn’t exactly an easy thing to afford. in a situation like that, it’s not difficult to see her taking the money, if not for the mere fact that at least it took something away from him.

      • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

        Uhh okay you apparently don’t know how the justice system works idiot: IN A CRIMINAL TRIAL the victim does not foot the bill – the government does! IF she wanted to go after financial compensation for pain and suffering AFTER the criminal case had been ajudicated she is more than welcome to do just that – and had the guy been found guilty I suspect the civil case would have been QUICKLY settled! ‘

        Jesus are you really this stupid or are you just playing an idiot on the computer?

      • And apparently you aren’t too clear on how the justice system works in this sort of case, either. Because when you’re the victim in a big profile case like this, you don’t pay for the prosecution but the government doesn’t protect you, either. So both the state’s attorneys and the NFL will be up your ass with a scope the size the Chrysler building. Got any debt? Ever gotten drunk in public? Ever made a sexist or racially derogatory remark? Ever been to a therapist for relationship problems? Ever been on an anti-depressant? Ever have a relationship with anyone who’s been, or now is, in trouble with the law? Are you a sexually active person? Have an ex who’s not too fond of you and wouldn’t mind telling the media just what you like in bed, even if they have to make something up? Got enough money to tide you over in case you lose your job over the notoriety fo the case? Because all this will come out and even the smallest things can be spun to look bad. And if it looks bad enough to compromise the case, the state may drop it and leave you hung out there.

        If, in this case, the NFL finds anything first, they’ll use it to smear you in public to intimidate you and protect their boy. Just look at what Big Tobacco did to Jeffrey Wigand – and what’s been done to various whistleblowers in the past by large corporations – and you’ll see why people are reluctant to offer up their livesand futures to be picked over in situations like this. Get a clue, moron – it’s not just “mobbed up guys” that have the power and can bring the pressure to bear to ruin your life. And if you think the high priced lawyers and investigators the NFL has at its disposal are anything on a par with what the state can provide, you’re fucking delusional. So if you’re the victim of someone famous and don’t take a payoff to go away, be prepared to be raped again – in public.

    • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

      Okee dokee…guess we should just say fuck it and disband our legal system.

      • No, just keep you from having a hand in running it since apparently you react like a two-year-old if someone tells you something you don’t want to hear. Unfortunately, the wealhy and/or influential buy off the system all the time. This shouldn’t be news to you – but on the other hand, you also think that only someone who’s “mobbed up” can exert any influence on a victim so that speaks to your learning curve here.
        People have minimal faith in the system, so many of them would rather take a payoff than trust that they’ll get any justice in court. And I can’t say I can condemn anyone for taking that route – it’s easy to be a big man and stomp around declaring that if it were your daughter you’d make sure she testified so the guy’d end up in Q next to Scott Petersen, (who’s on death row, FYI, so much for accuracy) and quite another to achieve that goal. About all you can handle is a phobia of Gloria Allred, confine yourself to that.

  31. mike's a fucktard

    i don’t think mike’s in middle school.. instead, i’m pretty sure he’s a washed up balding loser that played sports in high school just so he could stare at some cock in the showers.. he was never really any good, but the players acted like he was one of the team so they could talk him into doing stupid shit, like drinking donkey piss..his blatant player-worship also tells me he’s now a chubby fucker who probably still lives in his mother’s basement. i’m sure his ratty ass old uniform is hung on his wall (when he’s not wearing it while playing madden on his ps3) next to some blown up pictures his mother took at the one game at the end of the season that he actually got to play in.

    while a normal person knows that rape is a horrendous act, i’m guessing that he’s beating his meat at the idea of rapistberger raping his mother while he watches.

    mike.. get some help.. or kill yourself, whichever’s clever

  32. mike's a fucktard

    i wish i got paid to post titty pics.. sadly no

    but i’m also not an idiot that thinks a “star” can do as he pleases just because he’s in the limelight

  33. Bryan

    I dig you longer/political posts. Keep them coming.

  34. The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

    I suspect I’m about to be booted from this site…..

  35. marsupial pilot

    Don’t know how big your penis is, but I like your balls.

    You rock, brother.

  36. antoine bugleboy

    Amen, Fish!

    As much as we all love the penis jokes and breasts, it’s posts like this that really do hammer home what this site is all about.

    PS you should just become a hockey fan anyway – you still get all the gratuitous violence, without the rampant steroid abuse and rape.

    • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

      Yeah you say that now but just wait until Fish is violated with a hockey stick.

      • Required

        You seem to have some extreme dislike for the Superficial guy…. you know, in most cases where you find something painful, ugly, deplorable or unpleasant, you stop doing/seeing/reading that thing. Maybe give that try.

        Although, I could be wrong, maybe you don’t hate him, maybe you really, really want his attention. It honestly seems like you are purposely saying over the top things in an attempt to attract the Superficial guy’s attention because you want him to notice you.

  37. Katie

    Thank you for posting this. Although you get paid for the normal celebrity gossip that’s posted here, as a reader it’s good to know your values extend beyond all that.

  38. rien

    wow, respect. Go you :)

  39. yit

    Bravo. Very well said.

  40. keep exposing em! you have the power.

    Fantastic, just fantastic. I’m a female daily reader and commenter. And I will be now, for ages (unless you keep making hooker murder jokes).

    The NFL is the bane of America. Right with Christianity.

  41. Robert Acquafresca

    Professional athletes, especially Super Bowl winners, cannot be rapists.

    Its an oxy moron.

    Kind of like rap music.

  42. mfb

    SOMETIMES IN LIFE….drunken sluts get treated like drunken sluts….the chick never pressed charges or called the police…her friends did. ben tried to get laid in a public bathroom…geez i’m sure nobody who reads this ever tried that before (except about 90% of you).
    as far as the first incident is concerned…she’s a looney who thought she had a relationship with an IMAGINARY SOLDIER!!!!
    Ben acts like a frat boy just like most men under 30….so you can all go fuck yourselves.
    Pittsburgh Steelers….6 time superbowl champs and Ben won two of em…..

    btw i’ve fucked a few drunken chicks in public bathrooms so im biased….

    • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

      Well pal you are treading on dangerous territory here: Apparently in the last week or so our buddy Fish has ‘gotten religion’. He took a great site that was all about tits & ass and turned it into the favorite melting pot of every gay pride parade marching, staunchly democratic, pro athlete hating poster imaginable (And that’s just the guys).

      The weird thing is – now that Fish has grown a set of feminist balls to go with his strap on he’s sort of typed himself into a corner – I hardly see how bright and early Monday morning the guy goes back to being a damn near pornographer after scaling the lofty heights of being the God of every leftist douchebag with cable internet access.

      But then again the Dems LOVE a two faced hypocrite – and if Ted Kennedy wasn’t in hell right now he’d agree.

      • Amy

        You two sound like a couple of bald, pissed off Vietnam vets who don’t understand the Walmarts, Internets, the texting, or the new-fangled rock music. It must suck to walk around scared that a raging gay cock might slip into your ass or a giant talking vagina might take your jerb. In light of these circumstances, I suggest the two of your invest in a chastity belt and a nice, at-home business.

    • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

      Holy crap girl – you didn’t just call out Vietnam vets did you? Wow you are an ass aren’t you? PLEASE: Do SOMETHING with your life before you EVER write smack about ANY veteran. YOU are a loser – and you’re now just talking to yourself. Seeya asshole.

      • Amy

        You have any brain at all, you’d know that I’m not “calling out the vets.” Sad to see someone grasping for straws. I’m calling out a stereotype–in which you seem to be pretty proficient.

        /works for the military and deals with vets on a regular basis. Making fun of how lacking they are in current events isn’t exactly beating-up on the poor vets.

    • Katie

      you’ve fucked zero chicks, ever.

    • Pangulin

      Ben won 1, the other one he just got plain assed lucky his receiver caught the damn football! Beside which including this dickhead, asswipe with the quarterback who won the other 4 championships is almost as great a sacrilege as the standing ovation he received today! Terry Bradshaw would have kicked this jackass’s butt from one end of the field to the other any and every time they played. The Steelers were true champions then,now they are a bunch of luckouts with a Rapist as a QB.
      Kudos to Fish for calling attention to the true problem we have today,not just in sports, but with celebrities in general….its’ called idol-worship and it causes otherwise intelligent individuals to act in a totally ridiculous and childish manner whenever someone who is famous gets caught doing something illegal. What do they do….they continue to support the lawless individual while bemoaning the lack of values and morals in the world today.
      Just look at the number of politicians who have been caught in all kinds of illegal activities and then been re-elected to office by the very people they were cheating.
      The scenerio today with Benny-boy was no different than the re-election of a cheating politician. What the standing ovation said to Benny-boy was ,”Hey, do whatever you want off the field, rape someone’s daughter, threaten someone’s well-being or livelihood through your expensive attorney,it really doesn’t matter as long as you keep our entertainment lively and winning!”
      What a bunch of BS fans the Steelers have!

      • mfb

        ONCE AGAIN….he was not charged with raping anybody……i guess if someone lights a match they are now arsonists? Ben won TWO super bowls. and that includes his performances in the playoffs leading up to those two trophies.

        GO STEELERS!!

    • TracyZ

      “drunken sluts get treated like drunken sluts” Only a drunken slut can decide if she wants to be one otherwise she’s just a victim that made bad decisions. I was never raped (or called a slut) but in my youth was a flirtatious drunk. I am glad I didn’t run into you. I guess I would have it coming to me. I sometimes even wore revealing clothing.

    • Tits McGhee

      Well said!

      Now can someone make Amy shut up?

  43. Huge Fan

    I really appreciate you taking aside some time to call out an important issue instead of blogging about Blake Lively’s breasts, again. Keep the meaningful posts coming.

  44. Briane Pagel

    Bravo for you; I’ve linked over to you from Nonsportsmanlike Conduct!:

    http://www.nonsportsmanlikeconduct.com. Hope you don’t mind; if you do, I’ll take it down.

  45. Zilla

    I guess you missed last weeks game. Caww cawww.

  46. itsme.

    I hate the Steelers and all things Pittsburgh anyway, but Rothelisbergermeisterbergerbergermeister really makes me nauseous. As stated, one accusation is just that. But TWO?

    • Double R

      Reminds me of the Chris Rock joke about how America loved Michael Jackson so much we let him have the first kid for free.

      And I have to agree with Fish. Who among us wouldn’t take the money? Imagine every stupid little thing you’ve ever done. Now imagine the team of lawyers Rothelsberger would have hired and think of what those fuckers would do with your past indiscretions. They would be everywhere. I mean, look at Kobe’s girl. Her character was totally fucked in that trial. I’d take the cash too, just to be done with it.

      I love it when you post stuff like this man. Well done.

  47. poopsmith

    respect man, he deserves to be in jail if it was true, no matter who the fuck he is

  48. manny

    say that to his face, pussy

    • Finally. Someone made this comment.

      Let’s say I managed to say this to Ben Roethlisberger’s face without pissing myself in fear, the most likely scenario. And let’s say, he easily snapped me in two like the twig-man that I am, an even more likely scenario. Would that make him more right?

      “Argumentum Ad Baculum.” But I’m talking over your head, aren’t I? Here’s a more relatable scenario:

      Your woman tells you she burnt dinner. You pop her in the mouth. Does that make the dinner not burnt?

      Mountain Dew for thought.

      • Lady Blah Blah

        Critiquing faulty reasoning, I love it!

      • SuperT

        I did not know that I could love you more after your “rant”, but now there is this. This is why I read this site. Thank you, amazing “twig-man”.

      • THe ONLY Hetero in this Joint

        You know what Fish – on this post you just broke the 4th wall. The coolest thing about you USED to be that you let a post fly and then you kept your mouth shut. It ALWAYS seemed as you NEVER read any of the comments. That you were above all that. And that my friend was the cool thing about you.

        Now that you’ve decided to become a caped crusader for the downtrodden you got to walk the walk and talk the talk EVERYTIME bub. So please no more rants about Lilo – because I would sure hope you and the rest of the crew here will start showing some compassion for this girl. And she is a girl. Not a 30 year old. Not a 40 year old. Just a girl who has made a series of bad decisions.

        I used to find your writing to be funny, witty, with always a tip of the hat to the ironic. It turns out you’re just some self deluded wannabe screenwriter working his schtick from a 1 bdr in Chevy Chase.

        Man Fish you used to be so freaking cool: Now that you’ve come out you have really lost what made you YOU. That’s a shame as I have gay friends whom I know from when they were “straight” – they are still have the same essential qualities that they always had. You on the other hand have become an insufferable douchebag.

        The shame of all the posts I’ve been reading here is that you are all perpetuating the vitimization of the victim. Not a one of you believes in our justice system despite the fact that there have been real and tangible changes in how cases like these are handled by the courts. FOR EXACTLY the reasons you all are still clinging to as justification for taking the money and running.

        Discussing anything with you people is literally pointless: Case in point – I knew very well what I was saying when I said that I’d want a rapist to sit in a cell next to Scott Peterson because I DO equate rape as being equally as bad as murder – but then I am somehow called out for an ‘inaccuracy’ ergo my commentary is flawed…. Uhhh? Okay folks: Enjoy your Fish hero worship: I’m going to go find myself another site where I can ogle breasts and upskirt shots and not have to suffer through what has become an almost daily obsession with Fish to inject his take on morality into the proceedings here because frankly that reeks of a Catholic Priest pontificating on the virginal pureness of children. It’s just icky.

        Fish time you turned over the keys to someone else. In the space of a few weeks you lost your inherent right to post pics of Heidi’s breasts and make snarky comments about Spencer Pratt and buddy let me tell ya: THAT was your wheelhouse.

      • kneejerk

        ‘Mountain Dew for thought’…made my day. Now thats why Fish has his own site!

      • Chris

        Finally, someone made this comment. Totally agree.

      • shirleytemple


        Seriously though, mountain dew…. LMFAO

    • Required

      Holy crap Hetero, you are one angry, angry man. You seem to think that this site is something other than it is.

      Seriously, I found out about thesuperficial.com from my boss in like 2005 and she described it as this funny site that goes over celebrity gossip, but with a wicked, sharp sense of dry humour. I find it funny and smart, and I think that’s the point. Even with all the boob pics and upskirt shots, it’s always FUNNY, and not in the lame poo-poo kaka name-calling way that some sites descend to, it’s funny because it’s smart and a little off the wall at times. It’s funny because it’s poking fun at celebrity gossip (good and bad), all the while remaining intelligent and humourous. Throwing in the occasional post like this one, a soapbox post, which he is entitled to every now and then (besides it’s his website, not yours and he can pretty much do whatever the hell wants, no one’s forcing you to read it, so calm down), to me doesn’t make him seem full of it, it shows that he has working brain behind the regular witty sarcasm he typically displays with random everyday gossip.

      • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

        OH jesus christ! Just STFU you stupid bitch. (But thanks very much for tellingus about your work history at 7/11)

      • Look, Hetero, since you’re massively pissed off that I’m the one who had the audacity to call you on your inaccuracies, all-around faulty reasoning and reactions that make my sister’s toddler look like a UN peacekeeping delegate, why the righteous fuck are you using that as an excuse to free range rant to the Fish for administering some primo smackdown – to challenges that are, after all, addressed to him? The Fish has been breaking the wall like this for a while now – it ain’t “just” happening. Me, I enjoy his commentary, even tho my sinuses are fucked as a result because I still make the mistake of trying to drink coffee while I read ‘em.

        No one is exhorting anyone to take the money and run, or suggesting that subverting the justice system is the way to go or that we don’t “believe” in it. But only someone with a childishly immature thought process would be blnd or incapable of recognizing that the system is flawed, and that good doesn’t always triumph over evil in the courts – or even that the law and justice are two different things. If you can’t even acknowledge that the system DOES make it hard for rape victims to endure a trial, and even harder when there’s a deep-pocket defense team behind a bone fide sports hero – then you’re just fucking delusional. Really, why don’t you just put your fingers in your ears and go “LALALALA I can’t HEAR you”? It will be an effective part of your argument.

        At some point most adults realize that it’s only in their minds that they’re save-the-world heroes. You realize that people are flawed and imperfect and that includes you – and your moral certainty of what you’d do when faced with a decision like this, to take the money or take your chances with an iffy case and a possibly ineffectual DA, isn’t quite so absolute. And that condemning anyone for choosing not to go that road might be more than a tad self-righteous. You’re a man – you’ll never be in that spot, nor ever have to make that decision. So get off your high horse.

        And if this site isn’t being run to your cherished specifications, either get your own site or get some game in the way of a logical retort. Either way, stop having an ongoing tantrum because the Fish chooses not to think as you do. Or of course, you could take your own advice and “just STFU you stupid bitch”. Cuz I’m assuming that’s the type of “discussion” that you were lamenting the lack of, right?

    • The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

      And that goes double for you Justify.

      (See how glorious an economy with words can be?)

      Sorry but this will be my last post on th matter. Case closed. I win.

      • Brevity is not the same thing as maturity, you immature buffoon, but enjoy your ignorance. As I mentioned before, your reactions are grotesquely childish, but thanks again for proving my point.

  49. wtfhappened?

    i had lost hope from those useless posts you did those last month but with that one you gained back a reader !

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