Rachel Uchitel Will Apparently Bang Anything

And by anything I mean Jeremy London. You just read that.

According to RadarOnline, Jeremy’s ex-wife/also crazy drug addict Melissa Cunningham is accusing him of sleeping with the Ground Zero of Tiger Mistresses, Rachel Uchitel, while the two are filming the misleadingly named Celebrity Rehab together:

While he stopped short of denying a romance, London told RadarOnline.com he had a strong relationship with Tiger Woods’ former mistress, someone he describes as an “amazing, intelligent and sensitive person”.
“I’m very protective of Rachel because of our friendship,” London said.
“She’s been wrongfully persecuted by the media and because of what the media has done to me after I was nearly murdered, I relate to her.”
“Rachel and I are good friends PERIOD,” London told RadarOnline.com exclusively.

Let’s take a look at the facts: A. Jeremy London is a horrible liar. B. Rachel Uchitel only has sex with married men. I really shouldn’t have to go farther than that, but if it helps, think of a treasure map where “X” marks Rachel Uchitel’s vagina on Adulterous Slut Island right next to the kidnappers who are going to make Jeremy London have sex with it.

It’s like I’m looking into the future…

Photos: Splash News