Rachel Uchitel Will Apparently Bang Anything

August 23rd, 2010 // 35 Comments

And by anything I mean Jeremy London. You just read that.

According to RadarOnline, Jeremy’s ex-wife/also crazy drug addict Melissa Cunningham is accusing him of sleeping with the Ground Zero of Tiger Mistresses, Rachel Uchitel, while the two are filming the misleadingly named Celebrity Rehab together:

While he stopped short of denying a romance, London told RadarOnline.com he had a strong relationship with Tiger Woods’ former mistress, someone he describes as an “amazing, intelligent and sensitive person”.
“I’m very protective of Rachel because of our friendship,” London said.
“She’s been wrongfully persecuted by the media and because of what the media has done to me after I was nearly murdered, I relate to her.”
“Rachel and I are good friends PERIOD,” London told RadarOnline.com exclusively.

Let’s take a look at the facts: A. Jeremy London is a horrible liar. B. Rachel Uchitel only has sex with married men. I really shouldn’t have to go farther than that, but if it helps, think of a treasure map where “X” marks Rachel Uchitel’s vagina on Adulterous Slut Island right next to the kidnappers who are going to make Jeremy London have sex with it.

It’s like I’m looking into the future…

Photos: Splash News

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  1. glace neuf

    i mean, i’d hit it…

    • Jake

      She’s hot, and she apparently has the type of personality that can get guys to say shit like ” she’s intelligent and funny.” Which she probably is – a good intellect is what separates a hooker who can $5 million from Tiger from those porn stars who got nothing from Tiger.

      A smart broad with a hot body, and no morals can get VERY rich. Take that same body and no moral, but insert a whole lot of dumb, and you’ve got a porn star who will be living in a mobile home in 5 years.

    • Drew

      95% of the men that post on this site would fuck her. I’d fuck her, the retard that will inevitably claim she’s “gross” would fuck her. The only people that wouldn’t are self respecting males, none of which read gossip blogs and in turn post about big titted sluts.

      Hell, I’m sure even the women that think she’s disgusting wished they looked half that good. Nobody can truly say she’s “ugly” because she’s not. Her personality and the way she presents herself sure is, but who the fuck cares about that when the point is to rail the shit out of her? Most chicks willing to suck some dude off that isn’t their boyfriend/husband probably have personality issues anyway, why is she so different?

      My only complaint would be her lips, but a little stretching (over my obviously monstrous e-cock) would help.

  2. Internet

    SAME EXACT

  3. Rachel Uchitel
    Commented on this photo:

    There is something very wrong with her left tit.

  4. Nero

    Could this good girl be nymphomaniacal?!

  5. Leann's thighs & rough do rimes

    Hmmm let’s see. If she bangs him, it only means Mr. London is the biggest star on Celebrity Rehab. Well, looks like they’ll never get me to watch that junk. Not enough star power.

  6. McFeely Smackup

    I don’t understand something. I know this chick is Tiger Woods mistress (because I read the article, never heard her name before today), but is she famous for something else? She’s posing at events like she’s somebody. Or is she really just famous NOW because she fucked Tiger Woods? Does that make her a legitimate celebrity?

  7. Looks pretty damn good…but gotta say pict #4 isn’t the best (Tranny-Tron 4000).

  8. Taz

    I for one, do not want to be peter in-laws with Tiger, after seeing some of the girls he banged.

  9. So this woman apparently got X (I’ve read figures of 5, 8 & 10) millions of dollars from Tiger Woods in exchange for silence to the grave.
    What happened to all that money?
    Did it go up her nose so that she now is doing schlock reality TV rehab shows? Is she already broke or just the biggest fame whore ever?

  10. Pseudopodia

    I’d like to see this tranny’s Uchitel Peninsula aka her penis.

  11. Wait…anything?…(smiling)…they just don’t make women like that anymore

  12. What a stupid cunt

    She’s one sick bitch. She’s addicted to not only attention but breaking up peoples relationships by fucking the dude. Definite mental problems…

  13. yawn

    that dumbass london is now going to get railed in the media by his wife..

  14. Id bang it

    Yeah, I would tap that in all holes.

  15. Sobrietyisacrutch

    What’s her addiction? Isn’t it supposedly sex? Why isn’t she on the “Sex Rehab” show? I mean, considering how respected and successful these Dr. Drew treatments have proven to be….

    • Oh Hell No

      I just want to know one thing: WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH HER EYES? It’s like she has a small tit & a large tit….. I know, I know…WHO CARES?!

  16. Rachel Uchitel
    Nick
    Commented on this photo:

    shes so hot

  17. Rachel Uchitel
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuckin’ MAN HANDS.
    Looks hot sometimes but like a Tranny with Man Hands other times. Pass.

  18. stevebeagle

    nice lips idiot

  19. toresen

    sign me up.

  20. JJ

    She looks like a dude in that 4th pic, massive head. So not hot

  21. Rachel Uchitel
    A. Shiraz
    Commented on this photo:

    What is with the pharisees throwing around words like “adulteress” and “slut”? Have the Taliban taken over hollywood and the media ?

  22. Anything? … I’m a thing… Does that mean – …Oh my god!

  23. Rachel Uchitel
    IdHitThatShit
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hit that shit!

  24. Samantha

    LOL @ ground zero line. She’s a 9/11 widow.

  25. captain america

    ………….EVEN MULES!!!!!!!!!!

  26. Rachel Uchitel
    sER
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks hotter with the sunnies on.

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