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When Adam Lambert Attacks

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When you think about celebrities roughing up the paparazzi you mostly think about your Sean Penns, Tobey Maguires, or more recently, Mel Gibsons. Well, add blowjob-simulating sparkle-boys to that list because yesterday Adam Lambert surprisingly opened a can in Miami (above) which has him facing battery charges as of this morning. I guess admitting you got your ass kicked by a kid who wears studded codpieces the size of my house is worth the shot at a lucrative lawsuit. Personally, I would’ve just lied to people and said it was my twin brother in these photos. “Who? Me? Ha! You’re hilarious. No way would Gay Freddie Munster get the drop on- Oh, God, a bee! A bee, a bee! *hides under beach towel* Don’t let it ouch me.”

UPDATE: Adam is defending himself on Twitter.

Photos: Splash News

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