1. Suck It Trebek

    Hopefully it is better than A Million Ways to Die In the West.

  2. “I mean, come on. How attached could you get to that thing in 2 years? Wouldn’t 5 million dollars be better than a whiny kid? He’ll look so good mounted above my fireplace”

  3. Swearin

    “Oh jeez, you have one of those? Haven’t you heard of birth control pills? They let you have sex with literally dozens of Hollywood actors and then brag about it in magazine interviews.”

  4. Short Round

    Told you either 5 minutes of insult free conversation or the kid can sit in the Teddy Bear chair. But not both.

  5. Cap'n Obvious

    So bizarre looking, but she still pulls off “sexy as fuck”

  6. “Hey, I got a better baby face then your kid”!

  7. “Have you seen January Jones? She threw this kid at me and said she would be right back.”
    “I’m sure she wi-”
    “That was last week.”

  8. “Let’s eat it!”

  9. She kinda looks like Stewie with the wide set eyes.

  10. “All of these little kitchen critters are on sale on Isle 10, around the middle of the isle, on the bottom shelf. And if they’re out of them it’s really easy to make your own.”

  11. “As you can see, Amanda, this little fucker has destroyed my once-beautiful tits.”

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