America’s Gerbils Got Talent

Without Jessica Biel sitting next to him it’s just gross.

See everyone, millionaires eat popcorn just like the rest of us; out of a paper bag, sitting on rich Corinthian leather.

“I tear the bottom out of the envelope, then I can fondle my willy with no one being the wiser.”

The smug look of a man who’s got a better system of molesting male masseurs and knows it.

That’s the face of a man trying to hold in a fart…

Nothing wrong about having a discrete wank in the back of a limo under a napkin made of the finest egyptian cotton and rare silk.
Just don’t look so damn smug while you’re doing it.

Douchebag in a Bentley Limo

You know I really wish I could suck my own DIck

“I’m gonna throw this paper airplane out the moonroof SO HARD!”

“Sex With Hamburgers” starring Simon Cowell.

Simon is a man of means and refined tastes, who likes nothing more than smelling his own farts in the back of a Maybach.

“Ah, fuck it, I’m not even going to bother. None of these troglodytes look like they have any Grey Poupon anyway.”

^ How rude ^
Your all jealous of my lifestyle really