At first I was disappointed with her choice but now I just want to count down to the day he cheats on her with some hotel maid…
Mila: “Eyes forward, motherfucker.”
AK: “Yes ma’am.”
Damn it, Mila. You can do better than this.
I see that look in her eyes. She knows EXACTLY what he’s trying to catch a glance of.
At least Ben Affleck was married before he let Jennifer Garner start whipping his ass.
Tell you what, if I were some other girl, I wouldn’t want Mila
zeroing in on me, no way. Too many Russian connections.
“And then, whatever Lakers girl I pointed to at halftime, usually their friend would sneak over and give me her number. Then we’d do coke all night and I’d rawdog her at 6 in the morning. Im so glad Im over that period in my life now, though…..these fries are great, right?”
“Ashton if you don’t let me f*&k her first, I’ll cut your d*&k off and send it back to Demi.”
That 2014 Show.
A few seconds earlier, Ashton was drooling over that ass. Now he’s going: Whoa, that’s a dude!
“What?…I’m just watching the game!”
“It’s halftime you idiot!”
I know it has nothing to do with anything, but I read a funny joke today.
Customs agent: “Country of origin?”
Customs agent: “Occupation?”
Traveller: “No, just visiting.
“Ashton, what would you do if I let myself go after the wedding?”
“I don’t know. Probably some random chick who walked past me at a Lakers game?”
“Oh look, your douche count is going up.”
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Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis at a Laker game in Los Angeles. (March 4, 2014) -Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN