superficial

  1. At first I was disappointed with her choice but now I just want to count down to the day he cheats on her with some hotel maid…

  2. Joe Blow

    Mila: “Eyes forward, motherfucker.”

    AK: “Yes ma’am.”

  3. Damn it, Mila. You can do better than this.

  4. I see that look in her eyes. She knows EXACTLY what he’s trying to catch a glance of.

  5. dontkillthemessenger

    At least Ben Affleck was married before he let Jennifer Garner start whipping his ass.

  6. Wrong Rusky

    Tell you what, if I were some other girl, I wouldn’t want Mila
    zeroing in on me, no way. Too many Russian connections.

  7. “And then, whatever Lakers girl I pointed to at halftime, usually their friend would sneak over and give me her number. Then we’d do coke all night and I’d rawdog her at 6 in the morning. Im so glad Im over that period in my life now, though…..these fries are great, right?”

  8. papaschmurfenstein

    “Ashton if you don’t let me f*&k her first, I’ll cut your d*&k off and send it back to Demi.”

  9. A few seconds earlier, Ashton was drooling over that ass. Now he’s going: Whoa, that’s a dude!

  10. “What?…I’m just watching the game!”
    “It’s halftime you idiot!”

  11. I know it has nothing to do with anything, but I read a funny joke today.

    Customs agent: “Country of origin?”
    Traveller: “Russia.”
    Customs agent: “Occupation?”
    Traveller: “No, just visiting.

  12. coljack

    “Ashton, what would you do if I let myself go after the wedding?”

    “I don’t know. Probably some random chick who walked past me at a Lakers game?”

  13. “Oh look, your douche count is going up.”

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