superficial

  1. How small do you have to be to have your ass take up negative space on your couch cushion?

  2. Damn crayola bitch.

  3. Oh, to be that cushion right now.

  4. I think she’s gorgeous.

  5. coljack

    “Honey, it’s sexy you being all naked and whatnot, but your asshole’s on my pillow. Where my head goes, when I sleep.”

    • That’s how people get pinkeye.

      • Huh, I would’ve thought “brown eye” would be the result – live and learn, huh?

      • coljack

        In real life, I’d be all like: “You can put your butthole wherever you like, sweetie.” Just kidding, but if I’m in the same room with Chrissy Teigen and she’s naked at the time, probably I’m not telling her where she can and cannot sit. I might suggest somewhere, though (my face – I’m talking about my face).

  6. Little Tongue

    “Chrissy! Have you been drinking again? This is not the toilet you’re sitting on! Come on! Get up!”
    “I’m a princess… A beautiful bunny princess…”

  7. Doesn’t everyone search for loose change in the sofa cushions, this way?

  8. What happens when you raise an entire generation of women that dont know how to clean the house.

  9. Inner Retard

    I’m sitting on a couch because I’m so normal. I’m naked because I’m sexy and innocent. I’m wearing bunny ears because I’m so cute… and I’m wearing a tiara because I’m a fucking PRINCESS!

  10. Mike

    Thought this was Kristin Kreuk for a sec.

  11. ThrewUpInMyMouth

    When John said,

    “Next times gonna be your ass, princess!”

    … that’s NOT what he was referring to Chrissy.

  12. “AHhhhhhhh…that carrot feels SO good!”

  13. Keith

    Another semi-revealing shot of…zzzzz.

  14. anonymous

    Gizmo. Caca.

  15. John Legend is a lucky man…

  16. SnoBlower

    The ending to every Disney movie. Roll credits.

  17. Name (Invisible)

    Down Syndrome?

  18. Hey Fish-
    Why don’t you ever publish any of my tastefully naked Instagrams?

  19. Just because people call you “babe” doesn’t mean you have to wear his ears.

  20. nope, I still can’t get “700 Club”.

Leave A Comment