1. She’s clearly fantasizing about ANOTHER douche…

  2. ThisWillHurt

    The only time in our nation’s history where a brunette proves to be more intelligent than a blonde.

    BRUNETTE: Ermagawd! Dat’s Ashton Kutcher behind us! He’s a cutie!
    BLONDE: Shut the hell up and watch the game!

  3. Deacon Jones

    If you were a celebrity, wouldnt you rather just have tons of anonymous sex with girls like this, than bother to date some other famous person and have to put up with all the baggage?

  4. “Sooo… What’s it *really* like banging Mila Kunis? You realize you could redeem a lot of your douchiness by telling everyone and providing pictures and video, right?

    • Really? *this* is what strikes a negative chord? That every hetero male on here would like to see her getting it on EVEN with this shitbag wonder of talentlessness? You know you do. But if it’s just because it’s unfunny….. ok. I can accept that!

      Either that guy is thinking this or that he want’s Ashton to go all Brokeback Mountain on him.

  5. Taffy

    “I keep tasting vinegar. They’re still behind us, aren’t they?”

  6. As close as I can tell from the uniforms… they are the “Carl’s Jr Cheerleaders”

  7. Matt

    Does it make me a bad person if I want to beat him to death with an aluminum… You know what? Never mind. I know the answer.

  8. Moo Cow Hunter

    It’s easy to deduce who made a move on which girl.

  9. Happy_Evil_Dude

    Wait how is he buttfucking her? I don’t get the physics of this!

  10. pavement_smear

    “You’ve just been toe punked!”

  11. There are several reasons that I am glad that I am not Ashton Kutcher, but if I was, I would bang both those chicks. At the same time. Twice.

  12. I didn’t even know Carl’s Jr had cheerleaders.

  13. tlmck

    The blond looks like a young Reese Witherspoon.

  14. cc

    That stupid blonde and her stupid view obscuring ankle.

  15. EricLR

    The blonde is all pissed that she has to sit in front of the non-douchebag.

  16. DavyT

    Brunette thinks: “O…M…G!!! His cock is SO big, I can feel it touching the back of my neck! It’s SO hard, it feels like the end of a baseball bat!!! I am SO having that!!!!”

    Dude next to Ashton thinks: “Why the hell does Kutcher bring a baseball bat to a basketball game…?”

  17. Tron

    Basketball penis back massage trick…the oldest trick in the book.

  18. Three of the people in this photograph are fantasizing about having sex with Ashton Kutcher and liking it [Hint: the blond isn't one of them].

  19. Jewbot

    Brunette cheerleader:

  20. Little do those women know that the camera at the brunette’s feet is recording footage for an upskirt website.

  21. Tim's Trees

    Why is he hanging with Max Payne (3)?

  22. Surinam Soula

    Don’t call the guy an untalented douchebag, creep etc! You are all disgusting. Any concerned parent would get upset. By the way what’s wrong with douchebag? Don’t you put your whole f/face in there too?

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