1. Ryan: Get me a meeting with Tom Cruise.
    Keith: Mate, he’s my wife’s ex I can’t just call him
    Ryan: Oh what do we have here… Looks like someone is polishing my knob at my New Year’s eve party…
    Keith: Tuesday good for you?

  2. Is there a guy jerking off on a ladder?

  3. meh

    I’d say they were pretending to take a selfie but actually getting a pic of Jennifer Lopez’s ass but it’s Ryan Seacrest. He’s taking a pic of the dude.

  4. Hugh G. Rection

    Watch him get it all in there.

  5. “Oh yeah, that’s it. Now, Shaq’s getting close. I can feel it. Ready? Open wide!” (This comment made me a secret cutter. You’re welcome)

  6. Deacon Jones

    “Holy fuck! Is that a giant cock under Wendy Willams’ dress?!”

  7. Icehawg

    I was wrong, you DO have a great Hayden Panettiere impression, Ryan.

  8. “And then Joe Jonas was all, ‘open for the big pink train! Choo choo!’”

  9. “so Simon would climb up the ladder and then just pee straight into my face”

  10. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Kidman.”

  11. Keith Urban’s face is morphing more & more into Nicole Kidman’s while Nicole’s is just…morphing.

  12. Keith is nice here, really nice.

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