1. “Stop asking me about Die Hard, I’m not the guy who played Theo.”

  2. I feel like he’s looking right at me even though I know he cant see me because he’s not wearing his visor.

  3. “Uh huh….look motherfucker. We used ‘rainbow’ because it represents variety, okay? You ask the gay question again, and I will personally beat your ass…AND QUIT CALLING ME GEORDI!”

  4. Deacon Jones

    “The butterfly is DEAD, alright?!”

  5. Icehawg

    He’s thinking about his pay after the gig. He’s getting a whole sandwich.

  6. “No, I DON’T know what a phase inducer is. NO ONE knows what a phase inducer is because there’s NO SUCH THING as a phase inducer. Dork.”

  7. Taste the Reading Rainbow

  8. Never thought LeVar could play Carl Weather’s older self.

  9. “I honestly can’t see a single one of you”

  10. Look, I can’t read, o.k.! Are you all happy now?! But you don’t have to take my word for it..

  11. “What the fuck you mean look at the teleprompter? I can’t read.”

  12. “Mm.. Big asses are sexy!… I’ll eat a big bitches ass for days! Thinking about it is making my mouth water!…What’s that? Oh, right. Read a digital book. I’m gonna see if they have one about big asses!”

  13. “After you have completed the alphabet with your tongue, you can drive her crazy by flicking it in and out like a snake…”

  14. renotastic

    “Couldn’t I have just Skyped this in?!”

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