1. Cock Dr

    David will submit to any indignity for cash and/or a couple cold ones.

  2. EricLr

    Those girls in the background are surprised to find that there are billionaires and celebrities in the world who even they wouldn’t stoop to banging.

  3. It must be lunchtime cause Hasselhoff is down for some burgers.

  4. rantatonne

    How much do you want to bet that their ‘water bottles’ are filled with Captain Morgan?

  5. Doctor Botanus

    “I claim this washed-up loser in the name of the Crown!”

  6. When the Hoff is done with his burger, he’s gonna give Branson the old what for.

  7. cc

    The Hasselhof triathlon consists of three events:
    - 40 oz of scotch
    - 3 Whoppers
    - An hour of projectile vomiting

  8. The virgins looked on as they trembled in fear, wondering which one would be forced upon the makeshift bed of Hasselhoff , becoming victim number 13001????

  9. B&WMinstrel

    Virgin on being an asshole

  10. cagster

    Nervous contenders at the annual Branson Net Worth challenge.

  11. Mohawk Disco

    Androgynous Sonya Blade defeats Johnny Cage. Sonya Blade Wins!

  12. Bigalkie


  13. “Branson, you fucker! I’ve spent all these years trying to get the monkey off my back, and now I’ve got YOU to contend with?”

  14. “C’mon, Sir Dickie, kick me in the taint…c’mon, harder, the way I like it…”

  15. In the movies billionaires fight crime and save the world, but in my world they act like retard frat boys. Sigh.

  16. Gabe Kaplan

    When Branson asked David Hasselhoff if he would help him promote theTriathalon he meant to say he wanted to hunt “The Hoff for sport.

  17. Down for the burger.

  18. mbcl

    Sir Branson is mightier than Sir Loin.

  19. rican

    So, another Captain Morgan jerk.

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