1. “… and I clearly said ‘Light decaf latte’
    but this is thicker and blacker than your nightstick!
    Are you going to arrest him
    or are you distracted by my enormous beaver?”

  2. Mohawk Disco

    - You better get out of my face. Do you know who I am?!
    - Why would I bother to learn? You’re just gonna change your face in 5 minutes anyway.

  3. The Pope

    Shoot her! SHOOOOOT HER!

  4. He was going to stop and frisk her, but then he was like “gross.”

  5. Thats not a fur coat, thats her wearing no top. Shes just plain hairy.

  6. Fuck Joan, and her dead fur coat.

  7. JoeSchmoe

    I know they are not allowed in our building officer but they are flying monkeys!

  8. jep

    Cop: “Did you know an animal had to die for that coat, Ms. Rivers?”

    Joan: “Yeah, but I didn’t know there were any witnesses. Now I’m afraid I’ll have to kill you too.”

  9. Schadenfreude

    Joan Rivers’ latest idea to build off her Celebrity Apprentice win – Celebrity Walking Dead!

  10. I would go with the nightstick first, then the gun.

  11. Cop on the radio

    “Captain, do I really have to frisk her? Please God, no”

  12. Fur is gross to begin with, when you can actually see the outline of the individual bodies it reaches a whole new level of yargh.

  13. “…Yeah, my friend Heidi Abramowitz likes a little ‘cream in her coffee,’ too, if you know what I mean. You don’t know Heidi? I mean, from my act, you don’t know my act? Fuck you, you probably like Kathy Griffin.”

  14. As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL battle station!

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