1. Where’s the Audi?

    • JC

      She makes the kids carry it home. Gas isn’t cheap. Luckily, there’s 8 of them and it’s not a very big car.

  2. it had to be said

    Hey kids. Here’s a hint. Catch Children of the Corn on Netflix. Live it. Kill her.

  3. “I am not taking any of you little bastards home unless you go get me a new show.”

  4. dontlooknow

    What a bitch.

  5. guy rossi

    Why is she single?

  6. sad panda

    What do celebrities usually do to hold onto any shred of fame? Oh, you could get a reality show! Oh wait, that was canceled, huh? Go on Dancing with the- wait, wait, already did that. Hmm, this is a puzzler…I hear drug OD’s are in.

  7. HumpinFrog

    “Gas, ass or grass, nobody rides for free. You bunch of mediocre, snot-nose punks!”

  8. Richard McBeef

    You throw away that soul this instant, missy! You know we don’t allow them in this family.

  9. swearin

    “Everyone get in the van, now! You’re late for sweatshop duty- I mean, Economics Club!”

  10. I can’t remember what all of you guys look like. Look, I’m need to see a picture I.D. Octomom is NOT gonna pawn off any of her brats on me. I’ve already got too many of them myself.

  11. Elle

    “NO! You will not attend college! College is for the mediocre. Now go dance for the cameras so mommy can buy a new car!”

  12. pdan

    “The fuck part of ‘venti half-caf soy with extra foam’ don’t you understand, Jessica?!?”

  13. viasacra

    Alexander Skarsgard is in the van isn’t he.

  14. “Wait out here kids, mommy’s having a very important *business meeting* with some men from that street corner over there… AND KEEP IT DOWN OUT HERE OR YOU’LL BE MAKING YOUR OWN NIKES!”

  15. 8 kids and a raging bitch…she’s that “keeper” your mom was always telling you about.

  16. lp

    She has perfected the constant-screaming-banshee mode I always knew she was capable of achieving…. charming.

  17. JesusCan'tHitACurveball

    “No we’re not going for ice cream. Because your father is an asshole, that’s why. And there’s no Santa Claus. Also because your father is an asshole.”

  18. RHawk

    “I don’t care how many fucking windshields you have to clean on that street corner. You do not get in the van until you give Mommy $50.”

  19. farting old man's wife

    Poor Hannah! Her little face says all we need to know!!

  20. Mwaddams

    I don’t see what all the damn fuss is about her getting a job. She yells at kids wearing backpacks and drives a big truck. Paint it yellow and be a bus driver already.

  21. TomFrank

    ♫ There’s a magic in the early morning, we’ve found
    When the sunrise smiles on everything around… ♫

  22. Kate is having a hard time adjusting to the fact that she has to deal with the “props” from her former TV show.

  23. tlmck

    Nobody’s getting in this van until you all have signed, multi-million dollar deals from Disney!

  24. J.R.

    “Shut the fuk up and get in the van this instant!” Geez, what a bitch.

  25. …now somebody just flashed a twenty, who was it? …you little fuckers wanna eat?”

  26. YOU can’t come home!

  27. SIN

    Hey! It is either you or me and I chose ME!

  28. Ashley

    You lost me my show, you shall not pass.

  29. Manowl

    “You little punks are gonna sew them nikes… and you gonna sew them GOOD!”

  30. ZigZagZoey

    I bet any prison would hire her as warden.

  31. Deva

    And it’s because of shit like this that we don’t get a new fucking show!!

  32. Deva

    If shit like this keeps happening they’ll never give us another fucking tv deal!

  33. Lee

    Man, January Jones really is a bitch to children.

    Oh, wait.

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