1. “Before Barack Obama takes me golfing, Please remind Sharon Stone that Basic Instinct was twenty years ago so she should keep her legs closed.”

  2. totally sounds like the lead in to a “go into a bar” joke.

  3. “I warned you about that dick Matt Lauer, didn’t I?”

  4. George P. Burdell

    One of these things is not like the others. One of these thing just isn’t the same.

  5. Three out-of-touch, self-absorbed liberals and a guy from Tibet are sitting on a stage…there’s a great joke sure to follow.

  6. “I’m telling you, Ann…as the pit boss…If Sharon Stone doubles down on her beaver shot in ‘Basic Instinct’…that’s automatic soul salvation …FOREVER. And you’re out of the game…not unless…you got something to show me.”

  7. Dahli Llama: “What?!? Are you going to arrest me for smoking?”

  8. The Pope

    “So he’s got that going for him, which is nice.”

  9. Little Tongue

    “The day I saw Ms Stone in that play, on a tv powered up by a dozen running monks, I understood something very fundamental: a snatch is a snatch is a snatch.”
    “Wow! That was so very profound, Mister Lama! Look at my nipples! They are aiming for glory! By the way, are you related to Lorenzo?”

  10. aj

    Who would America want to see cross their legs the least? Sharon or Dali?

  11. what is the dali lamas purpose? to hide the child molestors? I don’t get it.

  12. ♫ ♪ “Well hello, Dalai, yes hello, Dalai, it’s so nice to see you back where you belong…” ♫ ♪

  13. Mike Walker

    Gray Davis, my ass.

  14. Jill Ess

    Wow. I’ve never seen Richard Gere so tan.

  15. one of these things is not like the others…actually NONE of these things is like the other. How did they pick this lineup, the “I feel lucky” button on google?

  16. PassingTrue

    Wax on, wax off.

  17. ” ‘On your deathbed you will receive total consciousness’? Sounds like New Age horseshit to me.”

  18. donkeylicks

    “Gray” Davis, sure… right, because it isn’t at all like when “Pink” first hit the scene with pink hair.

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