superficial

  1. I bet Tom hasn’t felt that tiny since working on Roseanne.

  2. Theres nothing magic about that body, Tom.

  3. rican

    Wait, isn’t Tom Arnold the fat one?

  4. KC

    Never meet your heroes. And definitely never meet them shirtless.

  5. “I like hanging out with you, Tom – whenever I’m down on myself for being fat, old, HIV positive, and having a flamboyantly gay son, all I have to do is look at you and remember that fat obnoxious ass bitch Roseann divorced your ass, and everything doesn’t seem so bad!”

  6. fred

    “So Tom, want to go out to my pool house and fuck? It’s okay-my doctor gave me special condoms.”

  7. anonymous

    I guess after seeing Rosanne nekkid a black man’s titties don’t make your nervous.

  8. “Well, no, and I think you know why, Magic…No, not because you’re black…”

  9. Dr Paul Van Nostrum

    “Can I crawl inside your navel and take a nap?”

  10. Earvin’s got the moobs like Daddy

  11. Son of Flubber

    “I can tell you’ve taken a dip in my AIDS swimming pool.”

  12. Mambo

    “HGH is a helluva drug.”

  13. Johnny Barbells

    …all the weight tom lost, magic found …dat nigga looks like ‘bad news brown’ right before a title match with hogan!

  14. zanjoe

    “I didn’t realize there was going to be a ‘Laker’s Game’ at this exclusive Hawaiian resort…”

  15. Shamus Goldensteinbergbaum

    It’s good to see the smoke monster from “Lost” still has Hollywood connections.

  16. You know… for a guy who’s HIV+ he still looks pretty healthy. Must be his, “magic johnson”. THANK YOU! GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY!!

  17. Nothing’s gonna phase Tom Arnold. He fucked Rosanne for Christ’s sake.

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